How is she being presumptuous? She said she "hopes" people don't go there....I think you're being a little bit too critical of her, when she didn't really do anything other than pm Vonnie.
you forgot the next bit of the sentence.. she hopes "talksfu members" don't go there because she'll leave that forum too.. essentially she's saying she doesn't want anything to do with talksfu.. which is completely fine.. just don't make it an issue here (a point that i've been making time and time again)
and i will be critical of things that i feel are worthy of being criticized.. now before you go ballistic over this.. keep in mind that this is what "i" feel... i could be wrong.. but this is just a personal judgment and doesn't represent anyone's judgment here..
lazyGUY;58260 said:
Its up to her what she wants to do on the internet....unfortunately some personal info of hers was released here and it was the reason she left here....that doesnt mean she has to leave the internet altogether. Im sure if someone put your address or phone number off you would be perfectly content with it...right? I guess she felt that this was a breach of privacy to that degree.
i'm asking her to get off the internet out of a good heart.. especially on facebook.. seeing how all this more or less started with facebook stalking.. like others have said...you can pretty much expect anything that goes onto the internet will become public.. now if she didn't put up the personal info and people still managed to find out about it.. then yeah.. that is a breach of privacy.. and a serious one at that.. but ultimately.. in your words.. it's up to her.. but i'm a firm believer that you should accept the consequences of your actions.. and think about those consequences before acting..
lazyGUY;58260 said:
This has been made overdramatic by ppl here. Yah it was a running joke for a while trying to get them to go on a date, but that ran its course a while ago and now everyones ragging on the 2 of em for no reason at all.
no reason at all.. really? cause it started out as a casual conversation and everything was fine and dandy until a thread was closed.. a mod gets questioned.. and a message to others on the forum from an ex-member surfaced that gave rise to the drama.. so.. was it really made overdramatic by people here? i don't necessarily think so..
lazyGUY;58260 said:
Student now has no mod rights because of things said here, and he has probably contributed more to this forum than anyone else. Stay classy....
this is an unfortunate case but i wouldn't attribute its happening to the things said here by other members.. again.. it goes back to thinking about the consequences of your actions...
student has indeed contributed a lot to this forum and i'll give credit to where it's due.. however his contribution did not come from being a moderator as he was already a great contributor before he was given mod status.. now i sincerely hope that he will not be deterred from contributing because of the summerheaven incident and the regrouping done in the interest of this forum..
with regards to staying classy... every member here has been staying classy in this discussion.. so your point being? now if you wanted to call me a nazi (again) for my opinions... you're more than welcome to do so.. =P
i'm asking her to get off the internet out of a good heart.. especially on facebook.. seeing how all this more or less started with facebook stalking.. like others have said...you can pretty much expect anything that goes onto the internet will become public.. now if she didn't put up the personal info and people still managed to find out about it.. then yeah.. that is a breach of privacy.. and a serious one at that.. but ultimately.. in your words.. it's up to her.. but i'm a firm believer that you should accept the consequences of your actions.. and think about those consequences before acting..
the only consequence was that her name was made public, and she left cause she felt she needed to (accepting the consequence) ....vonnie making it public that shes on that forum isnt much different, so she left that forum too
its not like shes making new accounts spamming the boards out of spite, so why hate on her?
no reason at all.. really? cause it started out as a casual conversation and everything was fine and dandy until a thread was closed.. a mod gets questioned.. and a message to others on the forum from an ex-member surfaced that gave rise to the drama.. so.. was it really made overdramatic by people here? i don't necessarily think so..
you forgot to mention that the "casual conversation" in said thread was ppl just talking shit about a certain mod....i would have done the same thing if i were in his shoes.
with regards to staying classy... every member here has been staying classy in this discussion.. so your point being? now if you wanted to call me a nazi (again) for my opinions... you're more than welcome to do so.. =P
i'm asking her to get off the internet out of a good heart.. especially on facebook.. seeing how all this more or less started with facebook stalking.. like others have said...you can pretty much expect anything that goes onto the internet will become public.. now if she didn't put up the personal info and people still managed to find out about it.. then yeah.. that is a breach of privacy.. and a serious one at that.. but ultimately.. in your words.. it's up to her..but i'm a firm believer that you should accept the consequences of your actions.. and think about those consequences before acting..
Are you saying, after all this, your only point is that she should have kept private info from the internet? If I remember correctly, she did try to keep her information private. Of course, there's always leaks, but being this critical on her doesn't justify it.
If she was stalked, and I believe this is now confirmed although it wasn't that grave, then she's only reacting to the incident like anyone would probably do.
Bring on the flame but I think at this point, hating on her is over-reacting too.
@lazy: the shit talking wouldn't have started if he didn't come back (after disappearing for a couple of months).. close a thread and disappears for a couple of days again.. i don't think it's all that unusual that people would start shit talking because someone's personal interests was involved (not because of the content in the thread mind you).. it was a civilized conversation that suddenly got cut off .. hence people carried the conversation onto this thread.. it doesn't seem all that far-fetched there would be shit talking because some may see it as borderline abusing mod powers..
@predator: no.. that's not my only point.. go re-read what i said.. i specifically stated what point i've been consistently making (or trying since no one seemed to have picked up on it).. yes she reacted like anyone would do.. leave the site.. but why come back and make a statement about a past issue when she doesn't associate herself with this site anymore? what's the point and intention of that? if she truly didn't want to bring this up.. she should've just left things alone.. let time work its magic and everything will soon be forgotten..
and why the hell does everyone think i hate her? i don't hate her.. hating requires you to know that person first.. and i don't freaking know summerheaven.. i hate her actions not the person.. and i'm being critical on the actions not the person.. so let's keep those things separated..
@predator: no.. that's not my only point.. go re-read what i said..
I did read your posts and I know what you're saying.
siuying;58302 said:
but why come back and make a statement about a past issue when she doesn't associate herself with this site anymore? what's the point and intention of that? if she truly didn't want to bring this up.. she should've just left things alone.. let time work its magic and everything will soon be forgotten..
She did quiet down. Unfortunately for her, any conversation here about student inevitably leads to him stalking her. What makes it even worse is how Student handled it, but that's a different conversation. If you think about, and Lixie has been trying to say this the whole time - in bold letters, we are the ones who keep bringing this up, not them. So I don't think there's anything wrong if eventually one of them finally makes a statement about it. Even if she logged in and posted it herself. Besides, some members were asking for her return anyway.
There's nothing wrong with making a statement about a past issue if people keep bringing it up. Matter of fact, it's better that they do.
siuying;58302 said:
i hate her actions not the person.. and i'm being critical on the actions not the person.. so let's keep those things separated..
The main point I've been trying to make is: if you don't want people talking about you, then 1. don't feed the fire by telling people not to talk about you, because people will obviously not comply to this, and talk about you. and 2. don't read threads that are about you, and leave it be.
If she did that, then she wouldn't know what people were saying, and thus she wouldn't have a problem with it. Seriously, it's not like any of us know her in real life (as far as I know). So for the most part, people are shit-talking a fucking username....and if she gets all worked up over that...then I don't know what to say.
Another thing, if she's so afraid of her "privacy" being violated (which I really don't believe), then she can take many courses of action to stop it. She can change the security settings on, or delete her facebook (which is a haven of private information for stalkers), she can change her email, change her forum usernames (or sign up for a new one with new information), etc. So if she's not smart enough to take some sort of proactive caution towards this, then I'm sorry to say it, but she deserves to be stalked.
Asking a message to be posted publicly on the forum won't do shit. If she just would have left it alone, nobody would remember it. So not only does she ask Vonnie to pass on a message, she messages Simon too....she doesn't seem to be learning her lesson here. And once again, if she's dumb enough to make the same mistake over and over again, then she shall suffer the consequences without an ounce of sympathy from me.
I did read your posts and I know what you're saying.
then you should know that my intention is to prevent this drama from ruining the positive atmosphere i/we try to maintain here at talksfu.. i will not tolerate people creating drama for their own or someone else's benefit..
online predator;58313 said:
She did quiet down. Unfortunately for her, any conversation here about student inevitably leads to him stalking her. What makes it even worse is how Student handled it, but that's a different conversation. If you think about, and Lixie has been trying to say this the whole time - in bold letters, we are the ones who keep bringing this up, not them. So I don't think there's anything wrong if eventually one of them finally makes a statement about it. Even if she logged in and posted it herself. Besides, some members were asking for her return anyway.
this is an internet forum.. people here are entitled to talk what they want to talk about and we can't put a sock in everyone's mouths.. so what if people keep bringing this up? it'll eventually die out and people will find something new to talk about.. now to help with the dying out of this conversation.. she should've continued to quiet down and/or distanced herself from the problem.. but certainly not coming back.. getting people to pass on her messages and making herself an indirect (but active) participant to the problem all over again..
and really.. a huge part of this started because she came back and read the threads.. if she didn't come back and read about them.. she wouldn't have known and wouldn't be as upset and frustrating as she is right now.. in the end.. if you don't want to know then don't go and find out.. because you're just making it hard for yourself when there's no need to..
i'm not too certain if there's actually people who want her to return.. after all this.. =\
online predator;58313 said:
There's nothing wrong with making a statement about a past issue if people keep bringing it up. Matter of fact, it's better that they do.
lol.. not when their objective is to stop people from bringing it up.. the more they talk the more hype the issue gets.. and the more people will just keep talking about it.. a very simple cause and effect equation really...
online predator;58313 said:
It doesn't really matter which.
actions do not represent the person.. and to illustrate my point.. say you're best friends with this guy who happens to take a liking in having multiple affairs.. now if actions = person, then you wouldn't want to be friends with him since you don't agree with his actions.. but is your friendship with him wholly based on his actions being representative of his person, or do other factors such as: character, attitude towards friend, and personal integrity also matter? therefore, actions =/= person because some actions are made as a personal choice and don't (and shouldn't) undermine us as a person..
now apply this back to SH's case.. i denounce her actions.. but i don't denounce her as a person for the same reasons.. i don't know and i'm not familiar with her character, attitude and personal integrity.. i have no reason and no right to hate her when i don't know her personally..
If she did that, then she wouldn't know what people were saying, and thus she wouldn't have a problem with it.
Well the thing is, maybe it attracted her attention upon realizing there's a thread about her or that people are talking about her. (Plus, you can't blame her for reading a public thread.) She'd definitely give it a read, especially after being gone for so long, and then try to clear things up by saying something once and for all. That's what I think of her "statement" - some sort of disclosure. Anyone will want to explain their shameful past.
Although none of that would've happened if she didn't investigate the threads in the first place and to be honest, that's the part I really don't understand - why she had to search the threads.
vonnie;58232 said:
SH said she hoped TalkSFU members don't migrate to the other forum because she didn't want to leave that forum too.
Then Student replied telling me not to tell anyone he was there (in which this case it was too late).
Then SH blames me for telling everyone, and investigates into each thread containing Student.
I might be misunderstanding or we're missing a part of the story, but I don't understand why she had to do that. Maybe she's checking if Vonnie, or someone else, did actually tell everyone?
And another one:
Can you just tell the others there's no chance I'll ever come back (especially after all this. I checked the TalkSFU forum and there's like, 2 more threads about this?!)
then you should know that my intention is to prevent this drama from ruining the positive atmosphere i/we try to maintain here at talksfu.. i will not tolerate people creating drama for their own or someone else's benefit..
Then you should've made that clear in the first place instead of quickly calling her out harshly:
siuying; said:
i'm with the ppl who says she's pulling the victim card because that's exactly what it looks like.. and i will keep calling on her attention whoring tactics if i see them
siuying; said:
my point is that her choice of telling people to fuck off is stupid and irrational... and that alone isn't very hard for anyone to deduce..
siuying; said:
how presumptuous of her to think that ppl will migrate to the other forum
siuying; said:
i'm asking her to get off the internet out of a good heart.. especially on facebook.. seeing how all this more or less started with facebook stalking..
siuying; said:
i specifically stated what point i've been consistently making (or trying since no one seemed to have picked up on it).. yes she reacted like anyone would do.. leave the site.. but why come back and make a statement about a past issue when she doesn't associate herself with this site anymore? what's the point and intention of that? if she truly didn't want to bring this up.. she should've just left things alone.. let time work its magic and everything will soon be forgotten..
I understand you made it clear yourself that you want to be sure of things too, that you're entitled to your own opinion and that "you'd gladly retract your statements." But considering you're uncertain about the matter, don't you think these are a little harsh? That's probably why you came off differently from what you might have expected.
siuying; said:
and really.. a huge part of this started because she came back and read the threads..
I agree with you there, and I don't understand why she did so. But putting myself into the same situation, it doesn't really make a difference, because sooner or later I'll still find out anyway (because every once in a while I do visit old sites I used to frequent).
siuying; said:
not when their objective is to stop people from bringing it up
Of course she wants people to stop bringing it up!
Let's get this straight. She leaves upset because some info of her was revealed. Overreacting? Maybe. She got stalked on by a member as was confirmed. She wants people to stop talking about it. Now people dislike her (or her actions) for that?
Like I said, her making a statement is only a reaction to finding about these threads, maybe a disclosure for her because in her case she deserves to say what she wants to say since it does concern her. I'm not saying people should or will stop talking about it.
And lastly,
siuying; said:
actions do not represent the person........
Unfortunately, I don't believe that to be completely true in the real world.
i think i made myself pretty clear on what i have to say.. and i'm not being harsh (as it could've been way harsher than this).. now on top of what you've quoted, i also said this:
siuying;58306 said:
summerheaven IS NOT a big deal anymore.. what's done is done so let the past stay in the past.. quit making yourself an issue when you aren't one to begin with...don't make yourself one when there's no reason to...
siuying;58306 said:
if she truly wanted people to stop mentioning the issue.. she should've NOT msged vonnie.. NOT tell her pass on the msg but tell others herself.. and most importantly.. NOT bring up the issue and instead.. let it die down on its own..
siuying;58306 said:
what she has done... is to bring up a long discarded topic back to life and stir up some drama that this site could do without..
siuying;58306 said:
essentially she's saying she doesn't want anything to do with talksfu.. which is completely fine.. just don't make it an issue here (a point that i've been making time and time again)
siuying;58306 said:
if she truly didn't want to bring this up.. she should've just left things alone.. let time work its magic and everything will soon be forgotten..
siuying;58306 said:
now to help with the dying out of this conversation.. she should've continued to quiet down and/or distanced herself from the problem.. but certainly not coming back.. getting people to pass on her messages and making herself an indirect (but active) participant to the problem all over again..
my point being: a) you aren't an issue anymore.. that's the past so let it go.. b) stop making yourself an issue on this site that you chose to leave c) if you want people to stop bringing up the issue.. don't come back.. don't get talksfu members passing on your messages.. just DON'T BRING UP THE ISSUE d) people will stop talking if you don't participate.. let time to do its job and eventually people will find something new to talk about e) talksfu can does not need the drama.. so just quit making it an issue when it isn't one anymore
i don't know how else to say or how to make myself more clearer than what i've already said.. i think i have more info in my hands than what you have in yours to ascertain my thoughts and opinions..and i don't mind sharing.. just not on this thread in case i violate someone's "privacy"..
now to address your points...
online predator;58327 said:
Of course she wants people to stop bringing it up!
Let's get this straight. She leaves upset because some info of her was revealed. Overreacting? Maybe. She got stalked on by a member as was confirmed. She wants people to stop talking about it. Now people dislike her (or her actions) for that?
Like I said, her making a statement is only a reaction to finding about these threads, maybe a disclosure for her because in her case she deserves to say what she wants to say since it does concern her. I'm not saying people should or will stop talking about it.
i don't think there's much room for contesting here.. if she wants people to stop talking.. just stop talking about it yourself and eventually people will find something else to talk about.. regurgitating my point again
no.. people dislike her because she's pulling the victim card and being an attention whore.. now i'm not the only one here on this thread who said this.. so obviously there's some sort of agreement going on...
correct me if i'm wrong.. you agree that it's fine for her wanting people to stop bringing it up but at the same time you're also okay with people talking about it? don't those two offset each other? :confused:
online predator;58327 said:
Unfortunately, I don't believe that to be completely true in the real world.
that's fine.. you don't have to agree as this is beyond the scope of our conversation here.. i've made my point that i don't hate her.. and if you or anyone out there still thinks that i do.. well.. that's your prerogative...
Comments
and i will be critical of things that i feel are worthy of being criticized.. now before you go ballistic over this.. keep in mind that this is what "i" feel... i could be wrong.. but this is just a personal judgment and doesn't represent anyone's judgment here..
i'm asking her to get off the internet out of a good heart.. especially on facebook.. seeing how all this more or less started with facebook stalking.. like others have said...you can pretty much expect anything that goes onto the internet will become public.. now if she didn't put up the personal info and people still managed to find out about it.. then yeah.. that is a breach of privacy.. and a serious one at that.. but ultimately.. in your words.. it's up to her.. but i'm a firm believer that you should accept the consequences of your actions.. and think about those consequences before acting..
no reason at all.. really? cause it started out as a casual conversation and everything was fine and dandy until a thread was closed.. a mod gets questioned.. and a message to others on the forum from an ex-member surfaced that gave rise to the drama.. so.. was it really made overdramatic by people here? i don't necessarily think so.. this is an unfortunate case but i wouldn't attribute its happening to the things said here by other members.. again.. it goes back to thinking about the consequences of your actions...
student has indeed contributed a lot to this forum and i'll give credit to where it's due.. however his contribution did not come from being a moderator as he was already a great contributor before he was given mod status.. now i sincerely hope that he will not be deterred from contributing because of the summerheaven incident and the regrouping done in the interest of this forum..
with regards to staying classy... every member here has been staying classy in this discussion.. so your point being? now if you wanted to call me a nazi (again) for my opinions... you're more than welcome to do so.. =P
its not like shes making new accounts spamming the boards out of spite, so why hate on her?
you forgot to mention that the "casual conversation" in said thread was ppl just talking shit about a certain mod....i would have done the same thing if i were in his shoes.
it was a joke the first time dammit
If she was stalked, and I believe this is now confirmed although it wasn't that grave, then she's only reacting to the incident like anyone would probably do.
Bring on the flame but I think at this point, hating on her is over-reacting too.
@predator: no.. that's not my only point.. go re-read what i said.. i specifically stated what point i've been consistently making (or trying since no one seemed to have picked up on it).. yes she reacted like anyone would do.. leave the site.. but why come back and make a statement about a past issue when she doesn't associate herself with this site anymore? what's the point and intention of that? if she truly didn't want to bring this up.. she should've just left things alone.. let time work its magic and everything will soon be forgotten..
and why the hell does everyone think i hate her? i don't hate her.. hating requires you to know that person first.. and i don't freaking know summerheaven.. i hate her actions not the person.. and i'm being critical on the actions not the person.. so let's keep those things separated..
There's nothing wrong with making a statement about a past issue if people keep bringing it up. Matter of fact, it's better that they do. It doesn't really matter which.
If she did that, then she wouldn't know what people were saying, and thus she wouldn't have a problem with it. Seriously, it's not like any of us know her in real life (as far as I know). So for the most part, people are shit-talking a fucking username....and if she gets all worked up over that...then I don't know what to say.
Another thing, if she's so afraid of her "privacy" being violated (which I really don't believe), then she can take many courses of action to stop it. She can change the security settings on, or delete her facebook (which is a haven of private information for stalkers), she can change her email, change her forum usernames (or sign up for a new one with new information), etc. So if she's not smart enough to take some sort of proactive caution towards this, then I'm sorry to say it, but she deserves to be stalked.
Asking a message to be posted publicly on the forum won't do shit. If she just would have left it alone, nobody would remember it. So not only does she ask Vonnie to pass on a message, she messages Simon too....she doesn't seem to be learning her lesson here. And once again, if she's dumb enough to make the same mistake over and over again, then she shall suffer the consequences without an ounce of sympathy from me.
this is an internet forum.. people here are entitled to talk what they want to talk about and we can't put a sock in everyone's mouths.. so what if people keep bringing this up? it'll eventually die out and people will find something new to talk about.. now to help with the dying out of this conversation.. she should've continued to quiet down and/or distanced herself from the problem.. but certainly not coming back.. getting people to pass on her messages and making herself an indirect (but active) participant to the problem all over again..
and really.. a huge part of this started because she came back and read the threads.. if she didn't come back and read about them.. she wouldn't have known and wouldn't be as upset and frustrating as she is right now.. in the end.. if you don't want to know then don't go and find out.. because you're just making it hard for yourself when there's no need to..
i'm not too certain if there's actually people who want her to return.. after all this.. =\
lol.. not when their objective is to stop people from bringing it up.. the more they talk the more hype the issue gets.. and the more people will just keep talking about it.. a very simple cause and effect equation really...
actions do not represent the person.. and to illustrate my point.. say you're best friends with this guy who happens to take a liking in having multiple affairs.. now if actions = person, then you wouldn't want to be friends with him since you don't agree with his actions.. but is your friendship with him wholly based on his actions being representative of his person, or do other factors such as: character, attitude towards friend, and personal integrity also matter? therefore, actions =/= person because some actions are made as a personal choice and don't (and shouldn't) undermine us as a person..
now apply this back to SH's case.. i denounce her actions.. but i don't denounce her as a person for the same reasons.. i don't know and i'm not familiar with her character, attitude and personal integrity.. i have no reason and no right to hate her when i don't know her personally..
Although none of that would've happened if she didn't investigate the threads in the first place and to be honest, that's the part I really don't understand - why she had to search the threads. I might be misunderstanding or we're missing a part of the story, but I don't understand why she had to do that. Maybe she's checking if Vonnie, or someone else, did actually tell everyone?
And another one:
I agree with you there, and I don't understand why she did so. But putting myself into the same situation, it doesn't really make a difference, because sooner or later I'll still find out anyway (because every once in a while I do visit old sites I used to frequent). Of course she wants people to stop bringing it up!
Let's get this straight. She leaves upset because some info of her was revealed. Overreacting? Maybe. She got stalked on by a member as was confirmed. She wants people to stop talking about it. Now people dislike her (or her actions) for that?
Like I said, her making a statement is only a reaction to finding about these threads, maybe a disclosure for her because in her case she deserves to say what she wants to say since it does concern her. I'm not saying people should or will stop talking about it.
And lastly, Unfortunately, I don't believe that to be completely true in the real world.
a) you aren't an issue anymore.. that's the past so let it go..
b) stop making yourself an issue on this site that you chose to leave
c) if you want people to stop bringing up the issue.. don't come back.. don't get talksfu members passing on your messages.. just DON'T BRING UP THE ISSUE
d) people will stop talking if you don't participate.. let time to do its job and eventually people will find something new to talk about
e) talksfu can does not need the drama.. so just quit making it an issue when it isn't one anymore
i don't know how else to say or how to make myself more clearer than what i've already said.. i think i have more info in my hands than what you have in yours to ascertain my thoughts and opinions..and i don't mind sharing.. just not on this thread in case i violate someone's "privacy"..
now to address your points... i don't think there's much room for contesting here.. if she wants people to stop talking.. just stop talking about it yourself and eventually people will find something else to talk about.. regurgitating my point again
no.. people dislike her because she's pulling the victim card and being an attention whore.. now i'm not the only one here on this thread who said this.. so obviously there's some sort of agreement going on...
correct me if i'm wrong.. you agree that it's fine for her wanting people to stop bringing it up but at the same time you're also okay with people talking about it? don't those two offset each other? :confused: that's fine.. you don't have to agree as this is beyond the scope of our conversation here.. i've made my point that i don't hate her.. and if you or anyone out there still thinks that i do.. well.. that's your prerogative...