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Breaking Couples Up

randomuser
edited March 2009 in General
So, any thoughts?

Is it bad to persue someone with a bf / gf? If they switch is that their own decision?

Are humans inevitably bound to cheat if it all falls into place?
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Comments

  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    HAHAHA all your previous threads seem to be onto something. do you like a particular person, but you can't because he's a friend's bf, so you decide that maybe casual sex would probably cut it but now you'd rather steal him out of someone else? i got that right din't i? ;)
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    Judging by your previous threads such as "Jealousy" and "Sex", are you planning to "Go Angelia Jolie" on a couple? I am pretty sure you guy know what I am referring to, if not, it is a reference to the role Angelia Jolie purportedly play in breaking up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

    If the guy you are interested in IS NOT happy in his present relationship, then you have the right to go after the guy and break this relationship up.

    Reasons...
    -The guy is not his girlfriend's property (and vice versa)
    -This "arrangement" will be beneficial for both the guy and the third person
    -Dating and relationship is not a contract. Both party in a relationship has the right to terminate the relationship at any moment and for any reason.
    -If the guy would break up with his girlfriend just to be with another girl, then CLEARLY the guy is not compatible with his girlfriend...

    Your response?
  • DaNoobie
    edited March 2009
    I'm think its easier to breakup a couple if you're a girl since guys are more likely to sleep around
    Thats just me though
  • randomuser
    edited March 2009
    I'm thinking I'd rather have my friend who I used to date, rather than my current boyfriend whos an asshole. It'd clearly be a trade up for him, Jen for Angelina.

    I want the nice guy now-- who says nice guys always finish last?

    I don't even know this bitch hes dating, and frankly she needs to get out of the picture!
  • nicole
    edited March 2009
    You sound like a bitch, actually.
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    DaNoobie;51387 said:
    I'm think its easier to breakup a couple if you're a girl since guys are more likely to sleep around
    Thats just me though
    I am not too sure about this.

    I think that both men and women encounter the same level of difficulty when breaking up couples. What's interesting, I find, is that male and female encounter different social stigmas when they are breaking up couples...

    What I often notice is that if you are a female who broke a couple up, people will often blame you for breaking up a happy relationship, regardless of rather the relationship is good or not. However, if you were a guy who broke a couple up, people will usually place the blame on the husband or boyfriend for not being able to do a good enough job.

    For example, in Chinese culture, we tend to call women who break up a couple the "Fox Demon." "Fox Demon" is a derogatory term used to describe a women as a men luring seductress. However, I have not heard of a this term applied to men. Instead, we tend to call a man whose wife or girlfriend cheated on him as a "wearer of green hat."
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    nicole;51391 said:
    You sound like a bitch, actually.
    Agreed.
    Student0667;51393 said:
    I am not too sure about this.

    I think that both men and women encounter the same level of difficulty when breaking up couples. What's interesting, I find, is that there are different social stigma that were attached to breaking up couples.

    What I often notice is that if you are a female who broke a couple up, people will often blame you for breaking up a happy relationship, regardless of rather the relationship is good or not. However, if you were a guy who broke a couple up, people will usually place the blame of the husband or boyfriend for not being able to do a good enough job.

    In Chinese culture, we tend to call women who break up a couple the "Fox Demon." However, I have not heard of a this term applied to men. Instead, we tend to call a man whose wife or girlfriend cheated on him as a "wearer of green hat."
    Agreed.

    Do you speak Cantonese or Mandarin or both? I've never heard of the green hat thing in Cantonese, but I remember a friend who speaks Mandarin asking me how to translate that and I had no idea what he was talking about.

    Alrighty, googled it and found something on wikipedia:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
    "The Chinese term for "cuckold" is literally translated to "wearing a green hat" (戴綠帽, dài lǜ mào).[1] It is because of this that it is extremely rare to see any Chinese man wearing a green hat."
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;51394 said:
    Do you speak Cantonese or Mandarin or both?
    My mother tongue is Cantonese, however I have been trying to learn Mandarin.
    I've never heard of the green hat thing in Cantonese, but I remember a friend who speaks Mandarin asking me how to translate that and I had no idea what he was talking about.
    Really? I hear this term all the time in Cantonese comedies. Often, it is usually a guy who describes how he doesn't know where his wife is every night and where she get all her fancy clothes and jeweries. Then, one of the guy's friend would ask, "Are you wearing green hat?" Meaning, is your wife cheating on you?
    Alrighty, googled it and found something on wikipedia:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
    "The Chinese term for "cuckold" is literally translated to "wearing a green hat" (戴綠帽, dài lǜ mào).[1] It is because of this that it is extremely rare to see any Chinese man wearing a green hat."
    Nice find! I never knew the English term for "wearing a green hat" until now.

    Just wondering, have you heard of the "Fox Demoness" term (狐狸精) before? I usually hear this term in Cantonese dramas when a guy's ex-girlfriend would storm up to one of her ex-boyfriend's close female friends and states, "So, you are the Fox Demoness that stole (the guy's name) from me?"
  • ralph2087
    edited March 2009
    DaNoobie;51387 said:
    I'm think its easier to breakup a couple if you're a girl since guys are more likely to sleep around
    Thats just me though
    LIES!! (I know from experience?)
    randomuser;51388 said:
    I want the nice guy now-- who says nice guys always finish last?
    Hells yes, we're making a come back. It was our game plan all along. We knew you'd come crawling back when those losers treated you like trash.
    nicole;51391 said:
    You sound like a bitch, actually.
    Yeah... we're nice, but not pushovers. You might want to tone down your attitude if you actually want to snag a nice guy.
  • DevelopmentArrested
    edited March 2009
    It's stupid to break a couple up. Once you have the guy or girl, you are now faced with the reality that they could very possibly cheat on you with the next girl/guy that comes along. If they left their significant other for you, what's to stop them from doing it again?
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    Student0667;51396 said:
    My mother tongue is Cantonese, however I have been trying to learn Mandarin.
    I wanna learn Mandarin too... but since CHIN 100 is closed, I guess I'll continue to rely on learning random phrases from my Mandarin-speaking friends.
    Student0667;51396 said:

    Really? I hear this term all the time in Cantonese comedies. Often, it is usually a guy who describes how he doesn't know where his wife is every night and where she get all her fancy clothes and jeweries. Then, one of the guy's friend would ask, "Are you wearing green hat?" Meaning, is your wife cheating on you?

    Just wondering, have you heard of the "Fox Demoness" term (狐狸精) before? I usually hear this term in Cantonese dramas when a guy's ex-girlfriend would storm up to one of her ex-boyfriend's close female friends and states, "So, you are the Fox Demoness that stole (the guy's name) from me?"
    I don't remember hearing the green hat thing at all, but I've heard the 狐狸精 thing a million times. Yeah, the female character would usually scream, "死狐狸, give me back my boyfriend!" or something like that.
  • Magnificent_BastardMagnificent_Bastard
    edited March 2009
    ^ you guys are both FOBs....god damn it...the tension and suspense of what will happen next is killing me....
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    Haha, I'm pretty white-washed. I can't really read or write Chinese ='(

    It's weird, non-Asian people think I can only speak Chinese and Asian people think I can only speak English..............................................................

    Anyways, randomuser, don't be a homewreaker.
  • buflibufli
    edited March 2009
    randomuser;51377 said:
    So, any thoughts?

    Is it bad to persue someone with a bf / gf? If they switch is that their own decision?

    Are humans inevitably bound to cheat if it all falls into place?
    i like how u turn your personal issues around to be about humanity

    i dont think u have a right to judge ur exs partner. even if you are right, you're still biased and it really shouldn't be ur business IMO

    Edit:
    and i'm only sayn this cuz i've thought like u at some point in my past.
    my advice is to go chill with ur friends take ur mind off it and forget
    move forward not backwards
  • lazyGUY
    edited March 2009
    My prediction of the events to unfold http://jelas.net/pictures/theres-no-revenge-like-woman-revenge
    20.jpg
  • xxk1nky
    edited March 2009
    No. I hate homewreckers. I've had to deal with two bitches when I was dating my ex and trust me, it isn't pretty. Especially when they don't know who they're fucking with.

    Breaking a couple up is just desperate, low, and pathetic.
  • randomuser
    edited March 2009
    Whoa judgemental.

    Anyway, when someone is telling you how unhappy they are in a relationship that has just begun I wouldn't consider it much of 'homewrecking', especially when they are flirting with you.

    This is what I"m talking about when they make a choice.
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;51405 said:
    Anyways, randomuser, don't be a homewreaker.
    xxk1nky;51423 said:
    No. I hate homewreckers.
    Going back to my thesis of "male and female encounter different social stigmas when they are breaking up couples." I love how you two ladies immediately assumes that the girl who break up a couple is a homewrecker. Look, what if the relationship is already a train-wreck and the girl get between this relationship to liberate the guy from a relationship he is not happy with?
    Randomuser said:
    Anyway, when someone is telling you how unhappy they are in a relationship that has just begun I wouldn't consider it much of 'homewrecking', especially when they are flirting with you.
    There you go, this is why I said in my first post that "If the guy you are interested in IS NOT happy in his present relationship, then you have the right to go after the guy and break this relationship up."

    Come to think about it, this rule should be applied to both guys and girls. But since this thread is focused on girls, I will save it for later.
  • randomuser
    edited March 2009
    There is different stigma attached, I mean you can see movies like Maid of Honor and several others where a guy needs to break up a possible marriage because they realize they are in love, and it's a romantic story.

    Anyway, it's not like I'm going to sleep with him while I'm seeing someone, and he is seeing someone, but hell, if the seeds of discontent are there why cant I water them?
  • DevelopmentArrested
    edited March 2009
    randomuser;51426 said:
    Whoa judgemental.

    Anyway, when someone is telling you how unhappy they are in a relationship that has just begun I wouldn't consider it much of 'homewrecking', especially when they are flirting with you.

    This is what I"m talking about when they make a choice.
    Yeah but you have to wonder why he's still in that relationship if he's so unhappy. If the guy is worth anything, he will end the relationship. If he continues to stay in yet also wants to pursue someone else, that should be a huge red flag.
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    I think it's better to leave the two alone until they actually break up. If they're relationship is really a train-wreck like you say, then it's only a matter of time until they're over. Otherwise, they're probably just on hot waters at the moment - just like any other couple experience.

    Whether or not the guy or girl says he/she's happy with the relationship, it's not right to get in between them because obviously you're only gonna make it worse for them. You wouldn't want a third person attempting to steal your partner everytime you two argue.

    Karma's a bitch, so you be careful.
  • randomuser
    edited March 2009
    DevelopmentArrested;51430 said:
    Yeah but you have to wonder why he's still in that relationship if he's so unhappy. If the guy is worth anything, he will end the relationship. If he continues to stay in yet also wants to pursue someone else, that should be a huge red flag.
    Because we haven't had the official discussion yet, but I assume it will be coming up soon. I wouldn't waste my time with someone who would not break up with someone if we wanted to be together.

    Some people have changes of heart, relationships are not forever, as long as you're not cheating I don't see anything moral problems.
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    It's not an issue of cheating, or morality. Just a third person catalyzing ugly situations.
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    online predator;51431 said:
    I think it's better to leave the two alone until they actually break up. If they're relationship is really a train-wreck like you say, then it's only a matter of time until they're over.
    Why wait for them to break up when you can just swoop in for the killing stroke?

    I would much rather seeing someone quickly deliver the Coup de grâce and terminate the relationship instead of staying in the background and watch your potential partner feel miserable and unhappy with his or her current partner. Notice that I use the term Coup de grâce. This is because this rule should be used only when the relationship is unsalvagable.

    I suspect that most people remain with the partner they are unhappy being with because they are worried that they may not be able to find a new one soon. Therefore, you need to show these people that a replace is ready on stand-by.

    For example, someone right now should step up to the plate and terminate the abusive relationship between Chris Brown and Rihanna.
  • JayDub
    edited March 2009
    randomuser;51429 said:
    There is different stigma attached, I mean you can see movies like Maid of Honor and several others where a guy needs to break up a possible marriage because they realize they are in love, and it's a romantic story.
    Keyword in that sentence: movies.
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    Student0667;51434 said:
    For example, someone right now should step up to the plate and terminate the abusive relationship between Chris Brown and Rihanna.
    Hmm.. good point right there..

    edit: but the first goal there is to get Rihanna out of such a relationship - which is different from being a third person who's only doing it get into rihanna's pants.
  • anonymous1
    edited March 2009
    If you'd rather be in a relationship with someone else, why are you still in your current one? Staying with him until someone better comes along is just rude.
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    Student0667;51427 said:
    Going back to my thesis of "male and female encounter different social stigmas when they are breaking up couples." I love how you two ladies immediately assumes that the girl who break up a couple is a homewrecker. Look, what if the relationship is already a train-wreck and the girl get between this relationship to liberate the guy from a relationship he is not happy with?



    There you go, this is why I said in my first post that "If the guy you are interested in IS NOT happy in his present relationship, then you have the right to go after the guy and break this relationship up."

    Come to think about it, this rule should be applied to both guys and girls. But since this thread is focused on girls, I will save it for later.
    If the guy wants to get out of a relationship, he should man up and break up with the girl instead of flirting with another girl and hoping that she'll do the work for him. From randomuser's previous post it looks like he's testing the waters, seeing if randommuser would go for him before he breaks up with his current girlfriend, and who the hell would want a spineless guy like that?

    randomuser's posts before the one where she said the guy was unhappy in the relationship never had much information, so you can't really blame us for thinking that she's a homewreaker. Happy relationship or not, breaking up a couple is in bad taste.

    I don't believe that anyone outside a relationship has any "right" to break up a relationship unless under serious circumstances (one is just using the other, one is just in for the money, something like that)
    online predator;51431 said:
    I think it's better to leave the two alone until they actually break up. If they're relationship is really a train-wreck like you say, then it's only a matter of time until they're over. Otherwise, they're probably just on hot waters at the moment - just like any other couple experience.
    I agree with this. In the end, you'll get what you want and your hands will be clean
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    lazyGUY;51416 said:
    My prediction of the events to unfold http://jelas.net/pictures/theres-no-revenge-like-woman-revenge
    20.jpg
    111.jpg

    17.jpg

    18.jpg

    These are fake, by the way. Some woman made a fake blog starting with how happy her marraige was and then she finds out that his husband is cheating on her with her best friend. She "hired" a PI to video them on a date, and got someone to video her taking her husband's things and giving it away to random strangers. I dont' remember why she went through all that trouble for a fake story though.
  • lazyGUY
    edited March 2009
    i just thought the pictures were funny lol

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