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Feeling bored in a relationship
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 14 months but I'm getting bored. I don't know why... I think it might be because we're in a long distance relationship. We've been long distance for half the time we've been together. He doesn't do any of the "surprises" or out-of-the-blue kind of things anymore. No surprises, nothing. Everything is the same. Everyday is a routine.
Has anyone felt like this before? I miss the first few months of the relationship in the "heads over heels" stage. We fight a lot. We have always argued and fought. But during the first few months, it didn't matter much. But now, being together this long, and being so far away from eachother, although we fight less than before, everytime it happens, it's very very bad.
I also miss the chase. Although if at times it meant rejection, I miss it. I miss going after guys. I don't have any guy in mind but I just miss it. I miss some aspects of single life. I miss the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of feeling.
I love him and all but how can we make it work? How can we find away to excite our relationship being so far away from eachother? He visits about once every 3 months. Is it bad that I'm feeling bored?? Is it normal to feel this way even though you love someone?
Has anyone felt like this before? I miss the first few months of the relationship in the "heads over heels" stage. We fight a lot. We have always argued and fought. But during the first few months, it didn't matter much. But now, being together this long, and being so far away from eachother, although we fight less than before, everytime it happens, it's very very bad.
I also miss the chase. Although if at times it meant rejection, I miss it. I miss going after guys. I don't have any guy in mind but I just miss it. I miss some aspects of single life. I miss the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of feeling.
I love him and all but how can we make it work? How can we find away to excite our relationship being so far away from eachother? He visits about once every 3 months. Is it bad that I'm feeling bored?? Is it normal to feel this way even though you love someone?
Comments
i dont even know what i can tell u, its rough, just really depends on how much both of u want it to work out, cause ultimately it takes the both of u to make it work.. a lot of compromise and trust
if u feel bored and miss the chase etc, it could be a sign u are not really for a long term relationship.. like ur still young and stuf and u want to keep ur options open
In your case, if you want to look for excitement, why don't you be the one that does the surprises? In many ways, guys are not that different from girls, we still very much like a nice surprise too.
I did that for about 3 months. But it was only a one-sided thing... So I stopped after a while...
I was talking with my boyfriend the other night about how things have changed between us as time has gone on (it's been 4.5 years and we've lived together for almost 4). He made a good point that when you first start dating someone, everything is new. It's really overwhelming how much there is to learn about someone and I believe that's part of the infatuation and love feeling that you get right from the start. But it fades. Ideally into something really comfortable and great... but I can see how people can be turned off when that newness stage wears off. It makes a lot of sense cuz it's very intense.
But there is something really wonderful about having someone who knows you well enough to anticipate what you might need or want, and who you can communicate with without words. Sure the first stage can totally knock you on your ass, but I am a really big fan of what that comes next. We still laugh a lot and I miss him like frigging crazy when he's not around.
Believe me, people. The chase is fun, but if you find the right person the next stage can be awesome too... give it a chance, damnit! :smile:
So I guess what I'm saying is....yes you're normal, no it's not bad to feel that way, there are other people out there in your situation who feel the EXACT same way. Yes sometimes I am bored and think of single life... I think being in a long distance relationship is definitely the most difficult kind of all..because it's like the worst of both worlds...you don't get to enjoy being single by picking up hotties with your girlfreinds, but you dont' get to stay home and cuddle with the one you love either... IT SUCKS!
Good luck though!!!!!!
Berlyn: It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this. :)
Wow, you guys give the best advice....
I posted the same thing on the VX forums.... does anyone use VX?
Gosh...... Take a look at what happened to my thread. http://www.vancouverxchange.com/forum/read.php?t=76070
LOL... so much drama in those forums...
This made me so glad to be apart of this forum , surrounded by mature ppl who are willing to give advice. :) Thanks again guys!
Unless there is a foreseeable end to the distance soon, I suggest you call it quits. Doesn't sound like things are going too hot anyway.