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Is this Cheating?

noname
edited February 2008 in General
I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over 4 months now and she would constantly tell me how cheating is such a bad thing etc. That I already know.
For someone who seems to hold such high moral grounds I was surprised that she would still initiate convo constantly with this guy that really likes her and who she once dated back when she lived in Toronto for a year in 2005. In addition, to this she would have an application on her facebook with this guy where they will create a baby together. She doesn't know I know all of this coz I just so happened to be using her laptop and came across all this including her msn convo with the guy. I attached a sample portion of one of her convo below. Oh yeah she also told me she will be going to Toronto this summer to visit her "friends". Sorry for the long read!
29/01/2008 8:17:21 PM girlfriend KEVIN boooo
29/01/2008 8:17:29 PM girlfriend KEVIN bring me food!
29/01/2008 8:17:34 PM girlfriend KEVIN please?
29/01/2008 8:17:35 PM girlfriend KEVIN lol
29/01/2008 8:18:32 PM KEVIN girlfriend I'll make it, you just gotta come get it
29/01/2008 8:18:43 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahaha
29/01/2008 8:18:58 PM girlfriend KEVIN im lazy to get out of the house
29/01/2008 8:19:04 PM girlfriend KEVIN too much snow
29/01/2008 8:19:17 PM KEVIN girlfriend snow?
29/01/2008 8:19:22 PM KEVIN girlfriend over there?
29/01/2008 8:19:29 PM girlfriend KEVIN yessss
29/01/2008 8:19:36 PM girlfriend KEVIN 10cm
29/01/2008 8:20:00 PM KEVIN girlfriend oh wow.. I thought it was just snowing over there
29/01/2008 8:20:46 PM girlfriend KEVIN yea it was pretty bad
29/01/2008 8:22:41 PM KEVIN girlfriend well dont worry, the weather over here is messed up.. hot one day ... subfreezing weather the next..
29/01/2008 8:23:00 PM girlfriend KEVIN well thats why i moved back haha
29/01/2008 8:23:37 PM KEVIN girlfriend haha..
29/01/2008 8:23:57 PM KEVIN girlfriend 10 cm of snow doesnt sound too tempting tho
29/01/2008 8:24:04 PM girlfriend KEVIN haha
29/01/2008 8:24:09 PM girlfriend KEVIN i hate snow!!!!!
29/01/2008 8:24:31 PM KEVIN girlfriend hate is a bad word..lol
29/01/2008 8:24:46 PM girlfriend KEVIN i HIGHLY DISLIKE w/ MY LIFE
29/01/2008 8:24:47 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahaha
29/01/2008 8:24:58 PM KEVIN girlfriend with your life?
29/01/2008 8:25:05 PM girlfriend KEVIN yepp
29/01/2008 8:25:06 PM KEVIN girlfriend you jumped from snow to life..
29/01/2008 8:25:10 PM KEVIN girlfriend what else you hiding?
29/01/2008 8:25:11 PM KEVIN girlfriend let it out
29/01/2008 8:25:11 PM girlfriend KEVIN hhaha
29/01/2008 8:25:14 PM KEVIN girlfriend I'm listening
29/01/2008 8:25:15 PM girlfriend KEVIN dorkkk
29/01/2008 8:25:44 PM KEVIN girlfriend how can you dislike your life? you have everything you need
29/01/2008 8:25:52 PM girlfriend KEVIN not really
29/01/2008 8:26:00 PM KEVIN girlfriend whats missing?
29/01/2008 8:26:06 PM girlfriend KEVIN school
29/01/2008 8:26:10 PM girlfriend KEVIN a good job
29/01/2008 8:26:32 PM girlfriend KEVIN love hahah
29/01/2008 8:26:41 PM KEVIN girlfriend you have the last one
29/01/2008 8:26:42 PM KEVIN girlfriend dork
29/01/2008 8:26:50 PM KEVIN girlfriend the other two you need to work at
29/01/2008 8:26:50 PM girlfriend KEVIN not yet
29/01/2008 8:26:54 PM KEVIN girlfriend /grr ?
29/01/2008 8:27:02 PM KEVIN girlfriend what kinda relationship you in?
29/01/2008 8:27:03 PM KEVIN girlfriend lol
29/01/2008 8:27:19 PM girlfriend KEVIN welll maybe i do but not like enough to say it yu knoe?
29/01/2008 8:27:22 PM girlfriend KEVIN i dont knoe.. its weird
29/01/2008 8:28:26 PM KEVIN girlfriend aww.. stop thinking too much.. and realize the things that are in your life
29/01/2008 8:29:25 PM girlfriend KEVIN im not even thinking about it
29/01/2008 8:30:37 PM KEVIN girlfriend well at least you have the option to think about it.. I dont have anyone to think of =P
29/01/2008 8:30:48 PM girlfriend KEVIN awww
29/01/2008 8:30:53 PM girlfriend KEVIN its okei she will come
29/01/2008 8:31:01 PM girlfriend KEVIN its yer fault haha
29/01/2008 8:32:05 PM KEVIN girlfriend my fault?
29/01/2008 8:32:10 PM KEVIN girlfriend bum
29/01/2008 8:32:12 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahaha
29/01/2008 8:32:19 PM KEVIN girlfriend where is the support?
29/01/2008 8:32:21 PM girlfriend KEVIN yu shouldve jus moved here when i said so! lol.
29/01/2008 8:32:25 PM girlfriend KEVIN jus kiddinnnggg
29/01/2008 8:33:20 PM KEVIN girlfriend you never said that
29/01/2008 8:34:30 PM girlfriend KEVIN what i always told yu to before
29/01/2008 8:35:50 PM KEVIN girlfriend well too late now
29/01/2008 8:35:51 PM KEVIN girlfriend lol
29/01/2008 8:36:06 PM KEVIN girlfriend plus it sounds like there is more snow over there than over here
29/01/2008 8:36:07 PM girlfriend KEVIN haha
29/01/2008 8:36:30 PM girlfriend KEVIN well what we had was nice.. too bad it ddnt turn out the way we wanted @ the time =)
29/01/2008 8:37:15 PM KEVIN girlfriend yah think positive, live n learn.. =)
29/01/2008 8:37:29 PM KEVIN girlfriend sounds like a fortune cookie
29/01/2008 8:38:03 PM girlfriend KEVIN yea did yu steal it from one?
29/01/2008 8:38:15 PM KEVIN girlfriend nope, thought of it all by myself..yay !
29/01/2008 8:39:10 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahaha
29/01/2008 8:39:13 PM girlfriend KEVIN *high five*
29/01/2008 8:40:25 PM KEVIN girlfriend just pick a picture already.,,, lol
29/01/2008 8:41:07 PM girlfriend KEVIN HAHA
29/01/2008 8:41:34 PM KEVIN girlfriend oh guess what.. at work I had a lot of overtime hours that I had saved.. and so my supervisor told me to get it paid out.. and I was like yay money.. maybe I can visit BC.. but instead I just blew it on random stuff ..lol
29/01/2008 8:41:48 PM girlfriend KEVIN WHAAAT
29/01/2008 8:41:52 PM girlfriend KEVIN yu shoulkd jus visit hereee
29/01/2008 8:41:55 PM girlfriend KEVIN geeeeeeeeeez!
29/01/2008 8:42:31 PM KEVIN girlfriend no way, I dont wanna intrude in your new life
29/01/2008 8:42:48 PM girlfriend KEVIN what?
29/01/2008 8:42:57 PM girlfriend KEVIN geez cmon ive known yu for a while now!
29/01/2008 8:44:25 PM KEVIN girlfriend haha.. well dont worry, I usually dont take any days off from work, so I am sure Iwill have more overtime hours to be paid out..(knock on wood)
29/01/2008 8:44:48 PM girlfriend KEVIN yea better
29/01/2008 8:45:00 PM KEVIN girlfriend so that gives you time to find me a girl =P
29/01/2008 8:45:25 PM girlfriend KEVIN haha yu can find one here
29/01/2008 8:45:33 PM KEVIN girlfriend no I cant
29/01/2008 8:45:43 PM KEVIN girlfriend tooo shy
29/01/2008 8:45:46 PM KEVIN girlfriend =P
29/01/2008 8:45:46 PM girlfriend KEVIN oh geeez
29/01/2008 8:46:26 PM girlfriend KEVIN but yea yu should check out bc
29/01/2008 8:47:39 PM KEVIN girlfriend I will definitely think of it.. when I get my vacation time =P
29/01/2008 8:47:44 PM girlfriend KEVIN okei geeez
29/01/2008 8:47:47 PM girlfriend KEVIN why spend on random stuff?
29/01/2008 8:48:02 PM girlfriend KEVIN but yu shouldve also gotten me something nice from that extra cash HAHA
29/01/2008 8:48:43 PM KEVIN girlfriend /grr like you dont do enough shopping already
29/01/2008 8:48:50 PM girlfriend KEVIN no i dont
29/01/2008 8:48:55 PM girlfriend KEVIN i can afford it anymore since i barely work.
29/01/2008 8:49:14 PM KEVIN girlfriend get back to work then
29/01/2008 8:49:19 PM KEVIN girlfriend dont be a turtle
29/01/2008 8:49:31 PM girlfriend KEVIN i cant my back hurts after a while.
29/01/2008 8:49:38 PM KEVIN girlfriend from sitting?
29/01/2008 8:50:24 PM girlfriend KEVIN yepp
29/01/2008 8:50:31 PM girlfriend KEVIN like i cant stay in the same position
29/01/2008 8:50:51 PM KEVIN girlfriend then move the chair away and lay on the floor to answer calls
29/01/2008 8:51:30 PM girlfriend KEVIN oh geeez
29/01/2008 8:52:12 PM KEVIN girlfriend man, just logged into facebook.. how many times is your bf playing that game? oh man
29/01/2008 8:52:28 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahahaa LOTSSS
29/01/2008 8:52:48 PM girlfriend KEVIN i havent even signed in because when hes on it it kicks me out.
29/01/2008 8:53:29 PM KEVIN girlfriend dont tell me he types for you too?
29/01/2008 8:53:36 PM girlfriend KEVIN types what?
29/01/2008 8:53:43 PM KEVIN girlfriend like replies comments
29/01/2008 8:53:51 PM girlfriend KEVIN no..
29/01/2008 8:54:25 PM KEVIN girlfriend haha kewl, you havent lost complete control
29/01/2008 8:54:53 PM girlfriend KEVIN hahah

Comments

  • randomuser
    edited February 2008
    i dont see anything incriminating or wrong with that

    all i see is that she doesnt love you
  • QuestforTruth
    edited February 2008
    To answer your question:
    No, she's not cheating, don't be ridiculous... they're miles apart.

    For the sake of this individual's (your girlfriend) emotions however, you need to confront her about this. Given the circumstances (guy she used to date, he still likes her.. etc) this may or may not be acceptable to you .. but since you brought it up in a public forum.. you're probably annoyed by her actions.

    Depending on where you are in your relationship -- you should at least talk talk to her about this if you want to continue on going out with her (assuming you do). I won't say that her actions are 'unacceptable', but she should know her limits (I'm stating this with the least sexist meaning possible.. not to say women should be doing A and not B.. just putting that out there).

    You're not at fault for being suspicious, imagine you were doing the same thing behind her back with the best intentions ('just friends') and she found out and what the consequences would be. My point is (if I haven't stated this clearly enough already), talk to her about this. Not to invoke conflict or anything, just to see where she's 'at' with this issue. The rest is up to you. Good luck.
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    You've got the goods on her. If that dude comes to Vancouver, she is going to dump you for him. Better say "bye-bye" to her before it's too late. Her mind and body are not in sync because her mind is on him and her body is here with you. BAD SITUATION!
  • Broken Lizard
    edited February 2008
    dump her!!
    seeing how your going through her things, things must not be that good between you two, lol
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    randomuser;22319 said:
    i dont see anything incriminating or wrong with that

    all i see is that she doesnt love you


    I agree. They're talking on msn, big deal. She's regretting the past and says she doesn't like the relationship she's in now. No cheating.
  • illicit
    edited February 2008
    either way. the guy sounds like a fruit. i'll back you if you plan on confronting the male physically.
  • Insatiable
    edited February 2008
    No, she isn't cheating on you, rest assured. It's just an MSN convo, no big deal. I understand words can be significant, but usually not as significant as actions.

    No need to fret about over this one.
  • Morro
    edited February 2008
    No cheating. You might want to talk to her about how she's feeling in the relationship, though. Also, might want to talk to her about why you're reading her MSN history...
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    Morro;22336 said:
    No cheating. You might want to talk to her about how she's feeling in the relationship, though. Also, might want to talk to her about why you're reading her MSN history...
    Yeah... this happened to me recently. We got into a huge argument. I think even if you're in a relationship, PRIVACY should still be maintained, no matter how close you are. What's the fun when you aren't allowed to keep SOME things to yourself?

    I personally wouldn't want to know EVERY LITTLE THING my bf does.

    This calls for a new thread!
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    vonnie;22340 said:
    What's the fun when you aren't allowed to keep SOME things to yourself?

    I personally wouldn't want to know EVERY LITTLE THING my bf does.

    You would want to know every little thing your boyfriend does if you suspect there is another girl he occasionally happens to call for time to time. Don't get jealous now.

    Some personal things should be kept private because they weren't meant to be public. However, we all want to know one's secrets.
  • imelting
    edited February 2008
    this isnt even close to cheating

    but one thing seems obvious, her current relationship w/ u is temporary at best
  • toast
    edited February 2008
    a guy and a girl chat online for fucking 40 mins.... something is wrong

    usually my msn convo is 15 mins max with anyone.. but 40 mins... something is wrong... IMO
  • Morro
    edited February 2008
    a guy and a girl chat online for fucking 40 mins.... something is wrong
    Do not listen to this man.
  • toast
    edited February 2008
    lol take that as a joke

    don't worry too much i gues
  • Broken Lizard
    edited February 2008
    go fly to toronto and kick this guys ass
  • tere_lai
    edited February 2008
    imelting;22356 said:
    this isnt even close to cheating

    but one thing seems obvious, her current relationship w/ u is temporary at best
    I think this says it all. You're only 4 months in and this is going on? She's allowed to reminisce about the past...she's not cheating in that sense, but this relationship you two are in now, does not AT ALL sound like it will last. YOU'RE ALREADY SNOOPING. FOUR MONTHS!!!!

    Either you

    1) dump her now, because you think she's cheating or because you don't think she likes you enough..or

    2) talk to her openly about maybe what she sees in you and how you can fix things up with her...maybe there are some things she wants you do to..haha my gf and i routinely have these sorta talks and she loves the fact that we're open and willing to change for each other!
  • siuying
    edited February 2008
    nope not cheating..
    i just see a civilized conversation going on here...
  • callonmeee
    edited February 2008
    What I get from this conversation is that she is confused about how much she likes you and that she is good friends with her ex.

    I think you need to think about whether the relationship is heading in the right direction... as in are you falling in love or is it going nowhere? If it's going nowhere and by the fact you have been dating her for 4 months, I would personally cut my losses.
  • randomuser
    edited February 2008
    id totally dump her ass before she dumps you
  • Master Of Illusion
    edited February 2008
    Let her go. Find a new pond. Catch a fresh one. Get her all greased up. Place her on fire. Then eat her. Works everytime. Also, get a new girlfriend, you need one that is more capable of securing her private stuff from your Homeland Security tactics, which is ethically wrong, even if you are right. Other then that go Vancouver go.

    Cheers.
  • siuying
    edited February 2008
    ^ wow.. do any of the ladies here feel more like a piece of meat from description above?

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