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approaching women in non-bar/club situations
Sorry, this is probably a terrible place to ask this, but I have to wonder. I do not drink (anymore), and consequently do not go to bars or clubs, and my friends mostly do the same thing. My question is, does it work just approaching women where-ever (IE: grocery store, library, hallway, at their workplace), and using the approach people seem to use at the bar (eye contact/ice breaker, say something clever, get phone # etc)? I know you aren't going to talk to some random girl and have her say "take me home" if you walk up to her in the library, but is it normal and worth the while for an average guy to do this? Do women mostly only want to be "picked-up" (talked to by a stranger who wants to date/have sex with them) in the bar/club (hence they are drinking alcohol, wearing revealing clothing, etc)? I have heard women really don't like getting hit on at work, but a coffee shop I always go to has good looking women working all the time. I have women friends and do sports, but they are mostly not single/are otherwise unavailable, and it's not a situation conducive to getting to know each other(I have trained muay thai for ~1.5 yrs), respectively... so I am wondering what other options there are.
Discuss.
Discuss.
Comments
I worked with girls some of them hated being hit on at work, but then other times they'd go on dates with guys who hit on them at work. I don't think it matters what the situation is, just depends on the chemistry, if you're considering interacting with strangers.
I think you have to develop some repor or connection before you ask someone out or hit on them, strike up a normal conversation if they choose to talk back, then maybe its a good thing, if they arent interested it wont extend anywhere beyond simple courtesy since it's their job and they have to be nice.
so i think it's okay to approach a girl outside a bar/club... but i would suggest not to use the approach most guys use at bars/clubs.. ice breaker and eye contacts are okay just don't go straight in and ask for a number/date.. keep in mind that girls at work or doing some grocery shopping aren't looking for a good time or a date.. instead try to converse with her and maybe ask/offer her coffee or something.. most of my girl friends are actually okay with that and so i would say they wouldn't turn hostile or just go weird on you.. =)
"hi"
"hello"
and whip out your penis
works like a charm
unless you have a small penis
The thing is, in a bar/club setting, the general level of awareness is much higher, so your flirting cues don't need to be too overt.
In the grocery store, I'm not super aware of who's around me.. I'm focused on the task at hand. I would, however notice someone if they went a little more out of their way to create an opportunity to connect eyes and smile.
About clever lines.. well, unless they have something very relevant to what's going on in the store or in my shopping cart, please don't bother. I'd prefer real honest conversation... like for instance, what was it that made you want to approach me?
Semi truths are a good idea here...
For example: You think WOW what a rack on that girl. she is gorgeous, and looks so friendly and happy. I gotta fuck her!
You say You look so warm and friendly and lovely I couldn't leave the store without saying hi... I'm ____ *extend your hand* and thats it... good luck! It's a numbers game, keep trying!
If i go to a club and i am wearing a low-cut shirt, it is because i want to show off my assets, not because i want guys coming up to me to hit on me.
Dont approach girls if they look busy. Try to be casual and nice, but if she doesnt respond back, then back off. Dont pester her. God, ive so many guys just pester me when its completely obvious even to blind and deaf people that i am not interested. Dont bother her if she does not want to be bothered.
Creepy guys waiting outside of stores for girls to ask them out is NOT a turn-on....it actually creeps us out majorly.
you wanna dress up cos you wanna show off, yet you don't want anyone to come up to you? I'm not saying that girls should dress up so that they can be eye candy and be hit on by guys, but if you go to the club wearing something that shows off then you should expect that, and if you don't want that then you shouldn't be wearing that type of stuff in the first place, no?
No offence to baby e, but the more I read your comments the more I get the idea that you don't think before you say anything...
haha burn
Can't a girl dress sexy to boost her own self-confidence? there are anomalies you know!
I go clubbing with one of my friends (who is in a Long-term relationship) but sometimes her bf doesnt come along yet she still chooses to "show off what her momma gave her" b/c it's just plain fun for us to dress up some times--and not because she wants to be hit on.
I'm sorry but why should we be clumped into one main category-"girls who want to get hit on"-for a way we want to dress when we go clubbing? Most girls dress a bit skimpier than usual because that's pretty normal to do in a clubbing atmosphere. doesn't mean every girl out there is waiting for a guy to sweet talk her.
and what do you guys figure we should do if we want to go clubbing but want to make it obvious we don't want to get hit on? wear turtlenecks the whole night? heck no!
sorry...don't mean to go all Women Studies on you guys. hahaha
might I add, what about overly buff guys in extremely tight shirts. yes we can see their nipples but..we don't go over and start groping them...
i dont see any flaw in this logic, girls that dont get hit on at clubs, just arent as attractive /shrug that might sound shallow, but its a club atmosphere, ppl cant 'talk', they go by looks.
If a guy hits on me because i am wearing a low-cut shirt, what does that say about him? And if he does that, then he shouldnt be offended when i tell him that im not interested.
I like to show off my assets. I will NOT dress non-sexy cuz i dont want to be hit on, i will wear what i want....but be prepared that i will tell you to bugger off if you approach me.
Guys hit on me in class, at the grocery store, on the street, etc. It doesnt matter if they hit on me, it matters if they get the point when i clearly tell them that i am not interested.
I suppose if we don't want to get hit on, gay clubs are the way to go from time to time.
also i think a good way of getting a feel of whether a girl wants you to approach her or not is to try to get her eye contact. if i was in this situation and i'm really feeling it, i'd probably keep with it and give a smile or something.
but in response to Mengs, no i don't feel that it's "dumb" what baby_e said. I think everyone just has different reasons for going clubbing, to dance, to get hit on, or whatever, but if a girl wants to dress sexier that's her choice and if she doesn't like to be hit on at clubs, that's her choice too.
I can see why girls are confusing now. *nods*
better than wondering "what if"
and if you girls don't plan on getting hit on, hit the club with guys, not a bunch of other girls. plain and simple.
now to find him a fitted muscle tee. what brand do you like meesh, affliction , diesel ?
i'm backing up on what baby e said.. dressing sexy isn't correlated to wanting to get hit on.. and i fail to see how that was a dumb statement too..
u might not want to get hit on, it just happens b/c of the setting u are in
if the dude doesnt get it after u say no thx, then thats a different issue..
bottom line is.. there are reason other than wanting to get hit on that make girls wear the clothes they do in a club setting.. sure showing off assets can be one since when is it abnormal for someone showing off something they're proud of? (cars, trophies, clothes, gfs?) so how is physical assets any different than that? but really.. like imelting said about social settings.. it gets hot a in a club and hence you wear fewer clothing.. that shouldn't been seen as a direct cue to go and hit on a girl..
Now who doesnt think before they write things? I get the feeling that you're kinda slow sometimes with the comments that you write.
Maybe go back and try to really read what I was saying and then maybe you'll understand.
:)
When I go out clubbing, I like to show off my cleavage. If guys stare at me, well good for them. I am not wearing the shirt so that they will stare. I am wearing the shirt because it makes me feel and look sexy (in my eyes) and i dont honestly care what other people think.
If a guy comes up to me and hits on me because he thinks thats what i want, then hes a moron because that is NOT what i want. If he doesnt take the hint when I tell him im not interested and gets offended when i tell him to bugger off, i could care less.
What is it that makes cleavage sexy? Is it a female's perception of it, or the male's perception of it? Of course the male perception has created an appeal surrounding breasts (and ass for that matter) so you are only catering to that demand, hence making yourself believe you are sexy by luring the eyes of guys.