The New Kid Syndrome.

blackvelvet · October 2007

Anyone here ever get that. You feel like your the only one who has no friends. The only one who doesn't have someone to talk to in class or about life in general. Well I definatly feel liek that. and Have for my first semester so far at SFU.

I've realized that people here at SFU pretty much stick to themselves and the people they know. Or so I've found. I'm a new student this year who doesn't know anyone at the school and I'm finding it very difficult to make friends. The clubs I have been interested in al clash with my schedule and beign 18 I can't go to the pub nights and such. Just curious as to how other people went about meeting new people and stuff.
I'm a fiarly shy person and a little out of my comfort zone when it comes to actually meeting people. Once I've met them however I'm fine and outgoing its just the meeting people that is my hurdle. Any Suggestions?

I have had someone tel me to join the student union. Does anyone know where it is?

meesh · October 2007

Most of the people I know from SFU are from my tutorials. haha made a few TA friends too :)

I was in your position when I just started out my semester, but as time carried on I realized I didn't have much time to make a lot of good friends from SFU...so i decided to focus my time on keeping the close friends I already have (who happen to be scattered all over the place, which makes it all that more difficult to do too).

but if you do want to know more people at SFU i suggest to just start with a "hey. what do you think of this class so far?" or something in tutorial. strike up a conversation--there are probably a lot of other people who feel like you do!!

JayDub · October 2007

First year I did orientation and resident orientation... there I met so many people. In classes I talked with whomever I wanted, in tutorials I always made at least one pseudo-friend and sometimes that became more. I got active in clubs, I went to the mountain shadow pub on wednesday as they dont ID. This year I was a Resident Orientation Leader and had 11 days of pure epicness where I could talk with anyone I wanted (as I was wearing an OL tshirt) and they didnt think it was weird and I made at least tenfold the ammount of friends I did in that eleven days all of which I do my best to still hang out with.

Kevin M. · October 2007

Don't worry! There are a lot of students at SFU who feel exactly the same way...for some reason everyone is afraid to socialize. It's all about courage. For my first year, I was so busy with classes and afraid to talk to others in my classes that I didn't make any friends at all. But later on, I decided to say hi to people in my tutorials and lectures if they were sitting by. So far, it has worked out great. At the worst, you will get a funny look, but just smile back. At best, you will get a good conversation and maybe even a friend. Try going to lectures early that's usually when people are most talkative and open to introduction. JayDub is right about orientation leader - great way to meet people. Don't be shy, be cool!

IVT · October 2007

yeah this is my first semester as well. Honestly, I woould suggest focusing on academics because I look at it this way: If I get kicked out of SFU, I won't have a chance to talk to any new friends anyway.

illicit · November 2007

IVT;16865 said:
yeah this is my first semester as well. Honestly, I woould suggest focusing on academics because I look at it this way: If I get kicked out of SFU, I won't have a chance to talk to any new friends anyway.

but at the same time, you want a network of people/connects.

during my first semester, that was definitely my feeling, so i just ended up meeting a lot of friends whom i still hang out with during my second year.
it's really the easiest to meet people in first semester since all the first years are just like you, dying to meet a friend and they'll talk so if you're shy, then other's may see you as " sticking to yourself " as well.

Magnificent_Bastard · November 2007

I've been in university since 2000 and I still don't have any friends =(

Kevin M. · November 2007

I thought a little bit more about this, as it seems to be a common feeling among new SFU students. Yes, it's hard to make friends here and, in fact at any university. However, the variable that this depends on is what I would call the "social factor."

When you were in high school, how many of your graduating class moved on to university? A conservative estimate would be 20%. So what were the rest of the 70-80% doing...socializing! While they were busy making friends, you were busy studying and getting good grades so that you could get into a good university. It's a common sacrifice which we have all had to make to some extent.

Now, once your here you wanna make friends because you always thought that things would be better once you made it to Uni. Well, that's where the social factor comes in...and it requires a little bit of effort on all our parts. The easiest way to meet people and make friends is through social activities. In high school, that may have been parties, sports teams, and clubs. GUESS WHAT! It's the same here!

If you want to make friends, you have to find people that you have something in common with. If you like playing basketball, join intramurals (http://rec.sfu.ca). If you like marketing, join SMA (SFU Marketing Association). If you like dancing, join the Hip Hop Dance club. If you like to write, join the school newspaper! From there, you'll find people who you share common interests with, get invited to events and parties, and before you know it, you're social network will grow!

I hope this made sense to someone:zip:

birneymak · November 2007

In response to Kevin M's comments I would also like to add a few. One thing I don't like and constantly see is people who take 3 courses, commute, and then talk about how they never meet anyone at SFU and how SFU has no campus life. When you are a part timer, and you commute, you are hardly ever on campus so of course you don't meet anyone. When you take a full course load you begin to have common people in all your courses with interests just like your own. Also, you begin to meet all the other people in your faculty/program just by seeing them semester after semester. Take this advice from someone who has done both 7 credit semesters and 17 credit semesters. If you want to feel like you are in university you have to act like it and take a real (5 courses) university course load.

schroed · November 2007

I've had the same prob since I started in fall 06. I've just tried to make friends outside of school. I get the feeling that alot as you said, most people are mostly in their own groups. You sorta get that "unsociable" feeling from others on campus, which makes you the same way...seems like a cycle. I say your best bet is to try and make friends in tuts.

mnb2 · March 2008

I'm a very introverted person myself, but I didn't have much trouble making at least a couple friends in my first semester. I found it to be quite the opposite; everyone was very friendly. Everyone in first year seemed to be feeling the same way...kinda nervous, wanting to make some new friends...don't want to be alone in class... with everyone looking for new friends, it was no problem!

Now that I'm in 3rd year however...and I've kind of surpassed my previous class mates... :p (actually, I'm just taking different courses), all my courses kinda blow without friends.

Anyway..I guess my advice is just try to find someone else in your shoes! Someone who looks like they could use a friend, sit next to them, and say "hello".

Mazille · May 2008

I also had the feeling in first semester but I luckily had 16 students from my highschool going to SFU so I saw them plenty of times on campus. Oh btw, I go to SFU Surrey. Orientation helped a lot in making friends and so did Facebook in a way. Friends are really helpful when it comes to exam time because then you can study in groups.

The New Kid Syndrome.

Comments

Leave a Comment