Exes

Comments

• 中国&#30

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  A few facts need to be answered:
  
  1) how long was the releationship with the ex?
  
  2) how did the two of you becomes ex's?
  
  3) what is you definition of intimacy on a scale from 1 to 10.
  
  4) (optional) Is either one of you ex's in a relationship and if so, how long.
• siuying

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  i have no problem with being friends.. but everything remains on a friendly basis.. and i keep that very distinct with those i associate with.. yet from experience.. none of the guys were able to keep that "friendly" basis with me for long before they like you said.. want something more.. and either it ends up that way to which i would cut off the contact to save my poor brain from misery.. or the guys themselves can't face the reality and decides to cut off the contact.. that i have no problem with either..
  
  i haven't met a guy to which he can prove me wrong yet.. so i'm going to say no for now.. =)
  
  and i also think the reason why you became ex's also factor into this.. kudos for pointing it out 中国男人
  
  honestly.. i will not like it if my bf was really good friends with his ex gf.. but that dislike wouldn't make me do anything more than letting the girl know who's the current gf.. the rest i will leave it up to the guy who in my opinion.. should have enough balls and brains to deal with it..
• Kevin M.

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  That's a pretty loaded question...obviously if you've been intimate with someone on a past occasion, there's something about them that turns you on. So if you guys hangout even after you've broken up, you're bound to get aroused again sooner or later. I think it would take a lot of maturity and control for a friendship to exist between exes without any of the friskiness, but then again, if both are single I don't see it as much of a problem. As long as both people know their boundaries and don't get attached, it's actually kind of fun.
• baby e

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  Alright, lets clarify the situation now.
  
  Its not me that is friends with my ex (I mean, yes I do have an ex that im friends with, but i havent seen him for a very long time).
  
  My bf is friends with his ex. They dated 4 years ago (im not sure for how long....at least 6 months i think, if not a year). And they are friends. She calls him all the time "just to talk", and frankly its kinda annoying. He talks with her about everything....the other nite, him and i had a fight, and he obviously called her, cuz she left a message on his facebook wall about it :/
  
  I'm sorry, but im not ok with this. Its kinda weird to be perfectly honest. He didnt like it when my ex was posting on my facebook wall, so i told him to stop posting and txting me....and he did. And now she is doing the same thing....but he thinks its ok because they're friends. Ummm, im friends with my ex too but i told him to stop posting on my facebook wall cuz it obviously irritated my bf. I dont see how this is fair.
  
  I'm not saying that i want to talk to my ex, i dont really....yah, the occassional "hi, how are you?" is fine, but i dont have any real desire to talk to him on a regular basis. Me and him had a really close friendship after we broke up, so i know what its like to be friends with your ex, but i stopped talking to him out of respect to my bf. This just seems odd that they talk so much, and her wall post that she left yesterday really pissed me off to be perfectly honest.
  
  Am i nuts? Please let me know if you guys think im over-reacting cuz then maybe i have to re-evaluate it and just, i dunno, let it go or something. I just think the whole ex thing is iffy, and i feel he should respect if i feel uncomfortable about it....no?
• Smartso

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  Exes just complicate things...if he's completely happy with you there should be no need to keep his ex around. Just be straight up with him, and say that it bothers you...you don't have to have a reason. As a guy, I can say that there is usually a mystique about the ex and thinking that they "understand" you but really its just stupid to talk to an ex. Nothing good has ever come of it from my experience...
• 中国&#30

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  baby e;14042 said:

  Alright, lets clarify the situation now.
  
  Its not me that is friends with my ex (I mean, yes I do have an ex that im friends with, but i havent seen him for a very long time).
  
  My bf is friends with his ex. They dated 4 years ago (im not sure for how long....at least 6 months i think, if not a year). And they are friends. She calls him all the time "just to talk", and frankly its kinda annoying. He talks with her about everything....the other nite, him and i had a fight, and he obviously called her, cuz she left a message on his facebook wall about it :/
  
  I'm sorry, but im not ok with this. Its kinda weird to be perfectly honest. He didnt like it when my ex was posting on my facebook wall, so i told him to stop posting and txting me....and he did. And now she is doing the same thing....but he thinks its ok because they're friends. Ummm, im friends with my ex too but i told him to stop posting on my facebook wall cuz it obviously irritated my bf. I dont see how this is fair.
  
  I'm not saying that i want to talk to my ex, i dont really....yah, the occassional "hi, how are you?" is fine, but i dont have any real desire to talk to him on a regular basis. Me and him had a really close friendship after we broke up, so i know what its like to be friends with your ex, but i stopped talking to him out of respect to my bf. This just seems odd that they talk so much, and her wall post that she left yesterday really pissed me off to be perfectly honest.

  You are really pissed off because of her facebook wall post and the fact she talks to your bf. You might as well talk to your ex on a regular basis (if he is not with someone else) and see how your bf reacts. Your bf is definitely not respecting you and yet you are respecting him.

  baby e;14042 said:

  
  Am i nuts? Please let me know if you guys think im over-reacting cuz then maybe i have to re-evaluate it and just, i dunno, let it go or something. I just think the whole ex thing is iffy, and i feel he should respect if i feel uncomfortable about it....no?

  You are not nuts. You are not over-reacting and should evaluate. Tell him you are uncomforatable and that he should respect you or else you might as well let it go or something.
• 中国&#30

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  siuying;14029 said:

  so i'm going to say no for now.. =)

  我跟你一样。

  siuying;14029 said:

  
  and i also think the reason why you became ex's also factor into this.. kudos for pointing it out 中国男人

  多謝。这个情况很麻烦。
• random

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  baby e, your bf is selfish. he doesnt like you talking to your ex, yet he talks to his ex...and i agree with 中国男人. You are NOT nuts. and you're not overacting as well. I understand that you (not aiming at anyone) will sometimes DON'T want your bf or gf to talk to his/her ex, but this talking thing should be two ways. If your bf/gf can talk to his/her ex, you can talk to your ex too. and that may include facebook messages, texting and those random "hi, how are you?" things. However, if they're REALLY close friends (as in, he can tell her about ANYTHING), then there's a problem.
  
  P.S. at least that's how I think about it.
• Kevin M.

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  I'd totally fuck my ex right now
• baby e

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  ^ Do you have a gf tho?
  
  Yah, I didnt think i was over-reacting about this. I havent talked to him about it since the other nite. I'll prolly mention it this weekend cuz its still bugging me a bit.
  
  Lol, he thought that it was ok that he could talk to his ex because they've been friends for 4 years and ive only been friends with mine for 2. Whatever, that makes no sense! He was like, "two years is nothing compared to four".
• Smiles

  July 2007 edited July 2007

  Hmmmm...I wonder if your bf would have a different opinion if he was friends with his ex for 2 years and you were friends with yours for 4 years. Maybe he would try to justify it in a different way? Anyways, your bf needs to consider how you feel about the situation.