friend who wont listen!

babygurl

u guys one of my best girlfriends started dating this guy for bout a month now and hes not good news but for some reason things are gettin really serious between them fast.. a couple of us have tried talkin to her makin her see what a dirtball he is but she doesnt listen and even starts ignoring us.. which is so not cool. do u guys have any suggestions about how we can get through to her!!

ps. this guy is liek trailer park trash... no job, no school jus sits at home lazy ass, and shes like goin to med school next year.. plus he doesnt treat her like gold to at least compensate for his flaws.. hes like such a jerk!! its so not like her cuz shes usually got really good judgement.. we dont normally butt in but shes already talkin about marrying him!!

noname

maybe there is a very good side of him that you're not seeing and you don't know about

Malakaiii

The best thing that you can do is not be confrontational about it. She has to make up her own mind and pressing her to see him the way that you do will only drive her further from you.

What you need to do is be supportive of her so that she has someone to come to if/when things go wrong. This happens a lot with people who are in love! It's hard to see the other side of someone when you are falling in love. And it's VERY hard to come crawling back to friends who are going to say "I told you so!" So try to be a good friend and she'll thank you for it later...

Smartso

If you've already tried talking to her and that didn't work, the only thing that *may* work is for her to be away from him for a little while. That way it could give her a different perspective on things and maybe she will realize that he isn't the best guy for her. Especially if her career goals are important to her, because he may end up holding her back from being a doctor.

Magnificent_Bastard

Why must people always meddle in their friends' relationships? First of all, if she doesn't want your input, then there really isn't much you can do about it, is there? If he's truly that much of a dick, I'm sure she'd realize it. Like noname said, there must be something she likes about him; at least enough to look past all of the "bad" qualities he possesses.

Relationships involve a learning process. If he's wrong for her, as somebody going into med school, she's probably intelligent enough to make her own decisions. Stop messing around with her life.

And of course she won't listen. If somebody (or more than one person, which would actually be worse), kept telling me that the person I was dating was a complete bitch and *insert insulting comment here*, I wouldn't want to hear it either. Who just sits there, and listens to that crap, and thinks "wow, you know what? This person really is a piece of shit. WHY OH WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS EARLIER??"

Tinana

Magnificent_Bastard said:

Why must people always meddle in their friends' relationships? First of all, if she doesn't want your input, then there really isn't much you can do about it, is there? If he's truly that much of a dick, I'm sure she'd realize it. Like noname said, there must be something she likes about him; at least enough to look past all of the "bad" qualities he possesses.

Relationships involve a learning process. If he's wrong for her, as somebody going into med school, she's probably intelligent enough to make her own decisions. Stop messing around with her life.

And of course she won't listen. If somebody (or more than one person, which would actually be worse), kept telling me that the person I was dating was a complete bitch and *insert insulting comment here*, I wouldn't want to hear it either. Who just sits there, and listens to that crap, and thinks "wow, you know what? This person really is a piece of shit. WHY OH WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS EARLIER??"

Yes, I agree with Magnificent_Bastard.
Yeah, it's understandable that friends want to look out for eachother.
You tried already and she didn't listen.
At least you tried. Let her learn on her own.

noobie

u noe wut? u should jus give it up.. ur friend wants to be stupid let her be.. its her own loss.. and when she comes back crying to u guys cuz he broke her stupid heart u could be supportive but personally id jus kick her to the curb for doin the same thing to me!

babygurl

thanks for all the replies guys... i guess the best thing is to jus let her know we support her and leave her to make her own decisions no matter how wrong it is.. of course i think we are entitled to give our opinions and tell her she doesnt have to care but at least hear them out :smile: