Has anyone here been?
I seriously doubt it. I'm a 2nd year undergrad and about to get divorced. It's a month before finals. I don't even know how I'm going to face going back to lectures or labs or studying or doing anything. I feel totally devastated.
Comments
If you don't mind my asking, how old were you when you got married and why are you getting divorced?
Aside from that, here's sending some good wishes to ya. *hands you a virtual beer*
i guess you just have to tell yourself what your priorities are and what you need to do.. divorce is just one part of your life.. a temporary phase.. and you're here in university for something that is not so temporary but for a greater purpose i hope.. so you shouldn't let this get in the way of you achieving your long term goals..
I'm sure you'll feel a lot better as time passes. Now this is where some people start to give up on themselves, but in the long run, you'll know it's not worth it.
and may I ask why did you get married in the first place?
Take care.
So on top of that I have to figure out if I can muster the energy to go back to school and pass exams and keep going - when school and the stress it causes was partly to blame for everything disintegrating in the first place. I started off doing a Bsc in Biology, because I love animals and it seemed like the closest thing, but I quickly found out SFU has ZERO to offer on animals, there's an obsessive dedication to studying cell chemistry and plants and that's about it.
Then I took some Psych courses and realized I find Psych really interesting (although not as interesting as animals). The problem is I really wanted to have a BSc, not a BA, so then I decided the best thing to do would be do the Behavioural Neuroscience program. On the other hand I'm absolute crap at Math, Physics and Chemistry which are pretty much a huge component of sciences, so now I'm wondering:
Did I waste a whole bunch of money on science courses? Should I have just chosen the easier route and gone with a BA? Is it too late to change now?
I would have been happier if I was done and had a job working with animals by now. I thought I wanted to be a vet, but it seems too hard, and if I had enrolled at some veterinary tech program in Douglas College instead, I would've been done by now, doing something I love, and not stressed out at home.
So I'm not sure if I even have the motivation to keep trying at school.
Not having been married (ever) I can't speak entirely to your situation but I will say that you really rolled the dice on that one. Getting married at 18? Whew. Tisn't for everyone and as you've discovered, even very compatible people find that they don't want to be married to each other so much as simply remain very good friends.
You will find someone else some day. Focus on that.
I did, however, live with someone for about a year and then broke up, and I will suggest this: Cut the cord quickly. Get the divorce over and done, and either you or she should move out ASAP. Dragging it out just makes it worse for all concerned.
*hands you the whole bar*
This might be a good option since you also get to move away and settle down and recover while pursuing your degree. If you pick this route, ask an academic adviser about this since they know all the knitty-gritty around transferring.
I think you should also finish what you have started both academic wise and relationship wise. You're on your way to get a degree in something and quitting in the middle of it will very likely generate even more frustrations. (as your investments do not pay off and is down the drain) There's also a competitive edge when you get a 4 year degree versus a 1 or 2 year diploma/certificate programs. You may perhaps wish to change your path again further down the road, a degree is the best bet as a lot of professional designations require a 4 year degree as a prerequisite. And there's the possibility of Master's and Doctorate and so on...
Relationship-wise, I think you have to do what you have to do quickly. Dealing with school and work is stressful enough for us as we're not entirely financially independent--let alone dealing with school, work and marriage.
Best wishes.
I leave it to you to figure out what you want to acquire on that list. *snerk*
(why yes, I am feeling smartassy today)
In all seriousness, I vote booking the summer off as well. SFU will retain you on the students list for at least two semesters of no-shows before you get dropped and have to reapply, so don't sweat that part.
If you don't currently have a job, getting one may actually help psychologically, if it's somewhat mentally fulfilling since it'll take your mind off what's going on.
There's nothing better than being at an optimal age and single ;)
Dont worry you will get through this alive!!! All the best to you and Good luck!!