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on cheating...
okay.. since this place is so dead let's liven up the place.. now i've asked a lot of people about these question(s) and i've come across some very unique answers (and some very common ones)... so i wanna see what fellow talksfu'ers think..=P
in a relationship, what do you consider as cheating?
what do you use to define whether a person has cheated?
if you suspect your significant other of cheating, will you take the initiative to go find out? and if you do find out that is the case, what will you do?
penny for your thoughts.. =)
in a relationship, what do you consider as cheating?
what do you use to define whether a person has cheated?
if you suspect your significant other of cheating, will you take the initiative to go find out? and if you do find out that is the case, what will you do?
penny for your thoughts.. =)
Comments
and then tells u
when he realize he is wrong.. but considered not cheating.
but he totally cheated.
once a cheater always a cheater.
a girl can kiss a guy in a friendly way but if her tongue is down his throat then thats the line i draw
i've never suspected someone of cheating on me and even if i would, i would give them the benefit of a doubt, i wouldn't do anything stupid
then again i've never been cheated on
If I suspected my bf of cheating I would definitely take initiative to find out, but the relationship would be over by then anyway.
hard to draw a line for emotional, but i guess when someone forms a bond with someone else that extends beyond 'just friends'
physical i would draw a line past kissing when there's smoke there's usually fire, and ya id go find out lol, things r pretty much over at this pt anyways. not a time for ignorance or giving ppl the benefit of doubt.
i don't know if i would consider flirting cheating cause it could very well be one-sided.. and there's always the harmless flirting/just being friendly argument that comes onto the scene.. and it's hard to nail them on it.. unless it gets to the point of making out like bufli said.. cause that requires 2 ppl to participate..
more thoughts/opinions?
or stories to share? lol.. =P
and how is it cheating if your last thought isn't about her
both guys and girls think about other people from the opposite sex all the time
i dated a girl once who was obsessive, basically if i talked to any girls i was flirting. so i pretty much wasn't allowed to go anywhere without her.no parties or camping trips with my friends. to be honest she never came out and said i couldn't go but if i did go i would get bitched at, so most of the time i would just pass. and if i went somewhere with her and needed to talk to a waitress or any other female i would have to talk in a serious tone else i was flirting with so and so...
that was when i was young i don't tolerate that kinda bullshit these days lol
i still think that unless its physical its not cheating... everyone has random thoughts through their head. heck they could consider sleeping with whomever but unless those thoughts materialize its not cheating IMO claiming that it is, is just overkill
and where does porn come in?
what do you use to define whether a person has cheated?
if you suspect your significant other of cheating, will you take the initiative to go find out? and if you do find out that is the case, what will you do?
I am a fan of honesty and if i suspect my girlfriend of cheating for some reason I'll ask her directly. Anyways, I would consider making out w/ someone else/any type of sex as cheating. I think if my girlfriend started avoiding questions and just seemed like she was hiding something would be cause for concern. I have a zero tolerance policy with cheating. In the past, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me and I found out from someone else...it didn't end well. People should be able to restrain themselves from cheating. Being drunk is not an excuse by the way...that's lame
It's impossible to not talk to other people which may lead to a small amount of flirting, but if you're in a relationship you should know the boundaries! If you're dating a girl and some other chick invites you to her apartment or whatever for a movie night, you should know that saying yes is a mistake. Who knows what it could lead to? Unless you're into doing two girls at the same time...then go for it.
for example if the girl that invites you over is a childhood friend you've known for ages (then you're obv stuck in the friend zone :P) going to watch a movie is not cheating nor should your gf have a fit
if the girl is someone who might be into you, again you can still go, as long as u respect your gf and therefore exhibit self control lol
If you are in a relationship with someone, and you know someone is into you, you should not put yourself in situations like that, as they are dangerous. I think it is really easy to fall in love with someone else, develop feelings for them, or have the same things happen to the other person.
If someone does have feelings for you, and you are in a relationship, and do choose to hang out with them, things should be made very clear, there things cant, will not, and have no desire from yourself to happen.
Watching porn is one thing, but when you put your relationship in jeopardy I think it basically is cheating. Its not realistic that someone is going to run off with a porn DVD or mpg and marry it, but running off with someone you know, who has feelings for you is the usual situation when cheating is involved.
I wouldn't tolerate my boyfriend going out of his way to hang out with girls he knows have a thing for him, or accepting invitations from girls who are trying to persue things, knowing he is seeing someone anyway. If you put yourself in situations where things can happen, then it says enough right there.
i agree with what randomuser said.. you shouldn't put yourself in compromising positions if you know what you're getting into.. that is not to say i undermine the concept of self control.. but things happen and they can/will happen..
- If I suspected, I would ask my boyfriend if he was cheating. I wouldn't snoop, because snooping makes it worse.
i see your point, except i disagree that its that easy to fall in love with someone else
if that were the case i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whom i through could "fall" so easily
you seem to have a very pessimistic view of guys i guess...
do you think that just because a girl is interested in a guy she could convince him?
edit: and my point set 2 conditions, self control and respecting your significant other
that means that if someone likes you and ur committed to your significant other, you make that clear to the person who's into you. i don't think its unfaithful to have friends who like you as long as u make it clear to them you don't like them in that particular way.
Just make sure she isn't under 16 though, otherwise you can be charged with possession and distribution of child pornography.
Pertaining the pic provided, Oh yes, the guy did upload nude photos and videos of the gal in question. A lesson to everyone when they are getting jiggy with a video camera, be careful.
It takes two to make a relationship go wrong--sometimes people who cheat do it because they are lacking something from the relationship, but are too scared to bring it up.
or to take that pt further, someone who has a history of it, beyond the 'one time mistake'
I agree with what some people have said with not putting yourself in a compromising position if you have a significant other. But I don't understand why people are saying it's always bad to have thoughts of other girls/guys. There's been a bunch of times when I've been with my gf, and I've seen an attractive girl walk by. But I don't say you know "holy crap, look at that girls legs W0W", out loud. I may think that but wouldn't say it out loud unless I wanted to cause a problem.
People should still be a little free to have their own thoughts and withold some information that doesn't need to be said.
One point you can't deny is doing something in the heat of the moment, its very easy to get caught up in something physical with not much thought to it, so is putting yourself in positions where this may happen worth it? Have you ever seen all the movies and shows, where someone plants a kiss on someone else without them consenting and then someone sees and thinks they are both cheating?
I also think girls and guys are equally vulnerable to this, not just guys. I'm talking from experience and things I've heard and seen first hand. I can guarantee if the shoe was on the other foot, it would not be okay. Would you like if your girlfriend was always hanging out with some guy who has feelings for her, or say an ex boyfriend? If it doesn't bother you, you are quite laid back, but there is potential for things to happen there.
i'm pretty sure most people are self aware and know this about themselves
and can judge whether the situation will work against them "in the heat of the moment" - this is up to the individual and their self control
as for the other peoples opinion on what they see, your right there that can back fire if the person is insecure and does not trust their significant other.
i am also talking from experience and although i admit your points are good and true for some people, i do think that its mostly over reacting
for the record my ex chilled/chills with a guy who likes her all the time. and while we were dating i didn't care one bit because i know she wouldn't cheat. my simple logic was, if she liked him she would've done something with him before she met me lol
the girl b4 her same deal, she ditched her bf for me. while we were dating she still chilled with her ex, again i didn't care. i actually felt kinda bad for the dude lol
i personally wouldn't restrict my gf on who she could hang out with, id give her my opinion but thats about it. its her life, her choices.
the general impression i'm getting from the responses here is that it's the physical aspect that's problematic.. and this element is absent in cyber cheating.. unless they get together outside the realms of the internet...