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man loses testicle in langley?

edited October 2009 in General
muhahaha.. i don't know how many of you read about this on tuesday morning but i LOL'ed when it was brought up and discussed in one of my crim classes.. =P

so.. advice for the guys who wants to take a stroll in langley:
For men living in Langley, or even just visiting, I offer the same advice I get from my neighbourhood squirrels: Watch your nuts.

It appears a woman randomly assaulted a man in Langley, by kicking him where it counts. Anthony Clark says he was strolling along 200th Street when a young woman walked up and delivered a powerful blow to his groin with her foot.

The kick exploded his testicle, which had to be surgically removed, Clark says.

His description of the assailant — young, slim, average height — doesn’t narrow the field enough to be very helpful.

“To say, ‘Yeah, beware of all women walking down the street, that would be tough,’” says Langley RCMP Sgt. Don Davidson.

Because the victim didn’t report any robbery, and random attacks by women against men are exceedingly rare, RCMP remain puzzled about a motive.

The woman may be mentally ill, have an axe to grind against men, or there may be more to the story, Davidson suggests.

For men, I offer the following solution: Armour yourselves.

You have several choices, and one of them is on sale.

For $199.95 US, marked down from $249.95 until Saturday, Tamiami Armor is selling a Level IIIA “ballistic cup.”

This snazzy little number, made of high-tech ceramic like that used in military flak vests, is fitted into a companion jockstrap.

“It stops all handgun bullets,” says a company spokesman, who inexplicably declined to be identified.

Given that we’re talking about an attack in the Lower Mainland, where gang-war bullets could potentially fly anywhere at any time, this tactical device would serve a double purpose, protecting the family jewels from this female suspect as well as from gangsters’ random slugs. The problem is, you’d soon find your protected package snarled in red tape, as the provincial government is bringing in legislation to outlaw body armour for ordinary citizens except by special permit.

Banned will be any “garment or item designed, intended or adapted for the purpose of protecting the body from projectiles discharged from a firearm,” the draft legislation says. Fortunately, less-expensive protection is available, without a permit, at martial-arts equipment stores.

At the low end, you can buy a $15 plastic cup with jockstrap, but considering the force of the blow received by Clark, these cups might not be up to the job.

“Being plastic, it’s possible you could crack them,” says Sam Logan, manager of Golden Arrow Martial Arts in Vancouver.

It makes more sense to spring for the $40 steel cup.

“It’s a special order,” Logan says.

Clark says RCMP told him constables had heard of three or four similar attacks in Langley. Davidson says Langley Mounties are not aware of other such incidents.

“They’re saying they never told him that kind of thing,” Davidson says.

In the meantime, it may make sense to buy some protective gear. When it comes to safeguarding the important things in life, it’s better to err on the side of caution. Just ask any squirrel.
http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Baron+Langley+must+watch+their+nuts+after+loses+testicle/2156535/story.html

and the actual story:
Men walking about in Langley should be wary after a woman viciously kicked a man in the groin, causing him to lose a testicle.

“I just want to know what her problem is,” Anthony Clark, 22, told The Province Tuesday. “People like her shouldn’t be on the streets.”

Clark was walking along 200th Avenue in the Brookswood area of Langley one afternoon in early September when he passed his assailant on the sidewalk.

“I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walk up to me,” he said.

That’s when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen.

Clark wasn’t aware of the severity of his injury until later that night when he “noticed something was missing.”

He consulted his doctor and a specialist, both of whom believed his testicle could be brought down again in surgery.

It wasn’t until he woke up afterwards that he discovered the doctors were wrong — the force of the assault had caused his testicle to rupture. It had to be removed and will be replaced by a prosthetic before Christmas.

“My doctors say I will still be able to have children,” Clark said. “But at 22 that’s not something I want a stranger, this woman, to decide.”

Embarrassed by the situation, Clark didn’t go to the police until nearly four weeks after the attack.

Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men, Clark said.

Langley RCMP said they would like to speak to other victims, although there have been no official reported incidents, spokeswoman Const. Holly Marks said.

The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s. She was between five foot five and five foot seven tall, and 130 pounds with a slim build, and brown hair.
:omg: :omg: :omg:

http://www.timescolonist.com/health/Langley+loses+testicle+after+random+attack+woman/2152272/story.html


enjoy... and beware :tongue:

Comments

  • edited October 2009
    ouch
  • edited October 2009
    ROSHAMBO!!!
  • edited October 2009
    This is hilarious.
  • edited October 2009
    How is this funny at all? This is horrible. My condolences to the man who lost a ball.
  • edited October 2009
    lazyGUY;61414 said:
    How is this funny at all? This is horrible. My condolences to the man who lost a ball.
    its hilarious to her because she cant begin to comprehend how painful it really is lol
  • edited October 2009
    now we need a news article where a girl gets falcon punched to even it out...
  • edited October 2009
    Its funny how this is passed off as funny to most people. If it had been a guy going around kicking girls in the crotch or even falcon punching them, the police would have been out in full force. I can imagine the guy being on crime-stoppers, and police sketches on every news channel.
  • edited October 2009
    oh equality lol
  • edited October 2009
    lazyGUY;61417 said:
    Its funny how this is passed off as funny to most people. If it had ben a guy going around kicking girls in the crotch or even falcon punching them, the police would have been out in full force. I can imagine the guy being on crime-stoppers, and police sketches on every news channel.
    ya im not gonna be serious about my comments because i have nothing politically correct to say about what id do...
  • edited October 2009
    lazyGUY;61417 said:
    Its funny how this is passed off as funny to most people. If it had ben a guy going around kicking girls in the crotch or even falcon punching them, the police would have been out in full force. I can imagine the guy being on crime-stoppers, and police sketches on every news channel.
    falcon punch to the ovaries.

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