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Kinky
I met this guy recently through a friend, and we've talked off and on, nothing really exciting or entertaining. From one of our many conversations he's told me that he's pretty kinky and loves the sex.
So lately we've been talking more because of all the things we have in common (obscure books that I've read, he's read them) and we share a particular type of humor. His love for kinky hook ups have been kind of pushed to the back of my mind.
Yesterday he asked me over for a dinner and movie night at his place on Sat. night. He's cooking, and I bring the movies. It's a great idea, I figure, and I agree. Then I find out that it's going to be just the two of us.
Should I be worried? He doesn't come off as a pervert, as much as he says he likes to get it on. And he hasn't shown any signs of being someone who would force his attentions on someone (though we did have a discussion about violent sex and we both found it agreeable).
Anyway. I suppose this thread is me asking people in general... what does "kinky" mean to you? How hardcore does a person have to love sex for it to be kinky?
So lately we've been talking more because of all the things we have in common (obscure books that I've read, he's read them) and we share a particular type of humor. His love for kinky hook ups have been kind of pushed to the back of my mind.
Yesterday he asked me over for a dinner and movie night at his place on Sat. night. He's cooking, and I bring the movies. It's a great idea, I figure, and I agree. Then I find out that it's going to be just the two of us.
Should I be worried? He doesn't come off as a pervert, as much as he says he likes to get it on. And he hasn't shown any signs of being someone who would force his attentions on someone (though we did have a discussion about violent sex and we both found it agreeable).
Anyway. I suppose this thread is me asking people in general... what does "kinky" mean to you? How hardcore does a person have to love sex for it to be kinky?
Comments
That can mean a lot of things. Straight, oral, anal, foot fetish, bondage, fisting, BSDM, rape fantasy, toys, scat, who knows, maybe he even has an extra doll in the closet for threesome.
And movies for a date? Lame. Why spend 2 hours watching movies when it can be spend on.. I don't know... sex? Just a suggestion.
If he seems fine, I wouldn't let a little comment freak you out too much. The real question is, are you into him?
I don't really think you have much to worry about. If he openly talks about it, I doubt he would be the kind of guy who would "force his attentions on someone". Violent and submissive sex is different from forceful sex.
If you already know you have a lot in common I would just treat it as good times all around!
I mean, I haven't been with guys!
...shit.
im sure you love that anyways
As for being into him, I don't know. I don't have an overwhelming need to talk to him, like I usually do when I really like someone, but maybe I'll see how it goes.
Also: I'm sure all Asian women look alike, but I'm not Japanese. :D
actually you probably wont know the details
Saturday night was great. He made food, as promised. Then we hung out with his cats and watched some movies. He also talked for quite a while (till 4 in the morning!) Then we decided to watch another movie that I had brought over... then I promptly fell asleep.
He stayed up though, saying that if he had fallen asleep, I probably would've been late for work Sunday morning.
It was good! He tried to kiss me at one point, but it just didn't seem like the right time. I'm pretty awkward at dating now, after a four year relationship. Heh.
Expect him to spike the champagne. Though you may want his penis in your vagina, only one of you is going to be able to enjoy it. The non-drugged person.
Im thinking kinky might just work out for me
I asked him about it, and it turned out to be pretty tame. He's into stuff like bondage and blindfolds, anything involving his overpowering his partner.
HOT. Definitely hot, considering he's a big guy.
or
I put the 'sensual' in 'non-consensual'
So I just need to know the proper etiquette I should be generally following. How do people behave on a second date?
I usually go by how much I liked the person... but right now I nothing the guy. I don't like him and nor do I dislike him. He just exists to me. But I know I am curious about him. And I want to find out how kinky he is, really (it's been months!!)
Would it be too much if I slept with him the next time we dated? Should I wait till he asks?
God, I'm such a dating fail.
But remember to bring a condom, he'll appreciate it.
I've never met a guy who actually held to all this 'lost respect' stuff. If you like a girl, you like her, and that's it. I know of no male who will stop liking a girl because she sleeps with him. Outside of religious objections, it's a myth.
Now, bear in mind that that's different than just meeting at a bar and doing it in a bathroom stall, or something. I'm talking about having sex early in a relationship. I've just never encountered the (non-religious) male who cared.