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Breaking Up

edited January 2008 in General
Have you ever broke up with someone? Been broken up with? How did you do it? How did you feel? Did you get back together?

I just broke up with my boyfriend recently, we've broken up three times now I think, but he always still calls me and stuff and since we stay friends we always seem to get back together, I think because of this.

Ive dumped every guy Ive ever dated except one (who dumped me a few days before I was going to dump him), and this is the only guy where the break ups have been nice, am I supposed to be mean to make it end for good?

Every other time it was "fuck off and die", or "I never want to speak to you again", or "I dont think this is working out", or "its not me, its you", or "lose my number" etc

Thing is I think I like this guy and wouldnt mind being with him after I grad, but until then I just dont want to do it, so its so hard to make a clean break

Anyone else have any breakup stories? Can you be friends with someone once you break up? Are you obligated to?

Comments

  • edited January 2008
    strictly speaking they can't be called break up stories because first i never introduced them as my bf and second we didn't make it official.. but we did fool around like normal couples do.. and after things start to die down.. you separate.. not a lot of them took it that well.. and yeah the usual "fuck offs" and "slut/whore/bitch" is in there and some even thought of themselves as the official bf when i didn't even consent to that... i do believe that you can still be friends once you break up but so far none of the guys i've met are able to do that.. hence i'm beginning to lean more to the idea that you can't.. because after all.. friendship is a two way thing.. it won't work if one party can't or don't want to see you as friends..

    you aren't obligated to be friends because not all break ups end peacefully.. but as long as they didn't wrong me first (cheating, lying) then i still want to be friends since there are no forever enemies and only forever benefits.. =)
  • edited January 2008
    randomuser;21095 said:
    Ive dumped every guy Ive ever dated except one (who dumped me a few days before I was going to dump him)
    Wow, that's me too! Haha...
    Most of the ones I broke up with turned out messed up afterwards. Like, TOTALLY messed up... BECAUSE I broke up with them. One even stalked me after, it was kinda creepy.
    Um.. the one that dumped me, I still had childish lingering feelings for him every time I saw him, but not anymore, because, well, I found my man =D

    It also doesn't help that 2 of my ex's go to SFU and there are those weird and frequent interactions between mutual friends where you just kinda step away from nonchalantly so you can avoid any sort of eye contact.
    Haha. It's kind of difficult. Or when sometimes they want to speak to you, and you know it, so you walk away faster with your head down. HAHA I do that a lot.

    I'm not friends with most of my ex's. I think maybe like... one. Haha, but that's because he lives er, 5 houses away. But yea, I'm a heartbreaker what can I say.

    And on an unconventional note, I asked my boyfriend out. HAHA :)
    Damn right I wear the pants!
  • edited January 2008
    One still has my number after four years and occasionally calls in spite of me never answering except once when I didnt recognize the unidentified number since he wasnt in my phone book anymore.

    Im starting to think you cant be friends with someone youve dated and be completely plutonic or not have feelings if you broke up in good standing.
  • edited January 2008
    If sex has been involved in your relationship then you can never go back as friends but rather get back together.
  • edited January 2008
    ^ i agree with that... intimacy is one thing when you're in a relationship but i think i can safely say that once you've been intimate.. sooner or later someone's gonna abuse that intimacy after the break up.. most friends with benefits start out that way unless you set out the terms..
  • edited January 2008
    I am a guy, so I don't like dumping girls. I feel it's their job to do it... they feel good and I get to be a hero in my head. So I never felt bad because a girl broke up with me. Most times I deserved it anyways. I moved on pretty quickly. If you can't be honest with each other - you are not meant to be together. If they guy is like a leach and always calls back - he is hardly a man, dump his ass for good. If he is smart, he will make you call him or just move on.

    Relationships need a lot of work and I mean a lot, but if they fail a number of times - isn't it a hint?

    Now I am married, and the girl I chose, well, she is perfect. We fight, we used to fight a lot too, but we never broke up during those fights. We agreed that breaking up should be done only when you don't mean to get back together - otherwise it is just a lie.

    So, do whatever the fuck you want lady, who gives a shit anyways? We all give advice, but our advice is opinions and you know opinions are like assholes - everyone has one and most are full of shit.
  • edited January 2008
    no_one_cares;21163 said:
    Now I am married, and the girl I chose, well, she is perfect.
    I feel sorry for your wife.
  • edited January 2008
    vonnie;21166 said:
    I feel sorry for your wife.
    vonnie: when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you :zip:
  • edited January 2008
    wow.. and i thought the wife thing was a joke.. o.O" and i'll apologize for that.. how old are you if you don't mind sharing? =)
  • edited January 2008
    siuying;21186 said:
    wow.. and i thought the wife thing was a joke.. o.O" and i'll apologize for that.. how old are you if you don't mind sharing? =)
    Hehe... wife thing is a joke, siu, would you marry someone like me? No way! - So there you go. hehe...
  • edited January 2008
    okay.. now i feel like a dork... *digs a hole and stick her head in*

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