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Long Distance Relationships

Tinana
edited December 2006 in General
Are you in one? If so, where is your boy or girlfriend? How long have you two been long distance for? Is it working well so far?


My boyfriend and I have been separated for 3 months. He's currently living in res at UWaterloo. So far it's not too bad.... it does get frustrating sometimes when we argue on the phone. But yea... it's working better than I thought it would at least.

Comments

  • illicit
    edited October 2006
    if its working out, go help tinglusingh with his post haha.
  • hegoru
    edited October 2006
    I was in one for 8/9 months. It gets very strange after a while. You're use to not having them there. You don't share the same life experiences. You want to do some things together but you can't. Slowly you grow apart. After 3 months I began travelling back every month and eventually moved back. But by then it was too late and we've parted ways since.

    Soooo.. unless you're up for a lot of comprimise (and even then it may not work) you have a difficult road ahead of you :/ Good Luck, wish you the best.
  • johnny
    edited October 2006
    Long distance relationships are THE WORST. You have to be very secure with your relationship to maintain the trust even though you do not see each other or see what the other person is up to. This usually leads to things deteriorating over time so I say why put yourself through all that. If it is temprorary, ie. for a semester then it can work but when its a long term thing nooo wayy
  • Malakaiii
    edited October 2006
    Yeah, I think it is more heartache than it is worth... Of course if your relationship is more than a few years old, then the time apart may actually help you, provided you both want to stick together. :)

    Personally I like a little time apart from my boyfriend (we live together), but only short bursts... and not too far. ;) It seems to make the relationship really awesome for sometime after!
  • Jessika
    edited October 2006
    yeah my boyfriends actually in school at U of T now and its soo hard! i trust him and everything but sometimes u kinda wonder what hes up to especially cuz u got no way of finding out and thats kinda hurting our relationship.. and also i am soo sexually deprived lol so yeah its pretty tough
  • Helen
    edited October 2006
    long dist relationships are hard but all it takes to work out is trust, good communication and faith in the relationship... but then again u need those qualities in any relationship soo yeah if there is genuine respect n love there then it can work out for sure
  • hegoru
    edited October 2006
    The problem is that even if those 3 variables are present at the beginning they degrade overtime. It's just a function of distance :/ The degradation is different for both of course but that creates another very volitile unknown which can lead to unexpected results.

    So you may start at the same point but one party may lose it a lot quicker than the other. It's a case by case situation but it's not easy! Visiting often and reaffirming the 3 variables constantly would probably be the best remedy.
    Helen said:
    long dist relationships are hard but all it takes to work out is trust, good communication and faith in the relationship... but then again u need those qualities in any relationship soo yeah if there is genuine respect n love there then it can work out for sure
  • MTL
    edited October 2006
    My last relationship we were 3 years apart, broke up... its too hard.

    Girlfriend now has been away from me for 6 months now ... argh she's supposed to come back soon. Don't have a long distance relationship if need be!

    I agree with someone above though, if you are apart a short while and come back together, and then go apart again it makes the relationship stronger. I know my current one has become stronger because of this. Sounds strange? But its true.
  • Helen
    edited October 2006
    MTL said:

    I agree with someone above though, if you are apart a short while and come back together, and then go apart again it makes the relationship stronger. I know my current one has become stronger because of this. Sounds strange? But its true.
    Sometimes it can lead you to realize the value of the other person but you have to be very mature to handle a sepearation....most individuals (guys and girls) our age just find someone else to keep their attention.
  • Vida Nelson
    edited November 2006
    My boyfriend and I have been going out for 10 months, but 2 of them have been long distance. He goes to UVic, so I try to see him every 3 weeks or so. Its not that bad. I mean, it's easier to concentrate on school and when I do see him its amazing.
  • hta
    edited November 2006
    All these long distance relationship stories make me sad:embarassed: :sad: :confused: :cry:
    Does anyone here have something positive and bright to say?
  • imelting
    edited November 2006
    its not all gloom and doom, it can work
  • Bassoony
    edited November 2006
    plus when u finally see ur gf/bf after so much waiting.. the sex is so much better
  • nipples
    edited November 2006
    hta said:
    All these long distance relationship stories make me sad:embarassed: :sad: :confused: :cry:
    Does anyone here have something positive and bright to say?

    theoretically you should have less arguements. cuz the little time you do get to see eachother you will bicker less and compromise more. and you wont be speaking your mind so much either. i guess that can be a good thing.

    until the whole 'best behavior' thing wears off where you two find out that you really arent compatible. in which case you will argue about why you're bringing up the current topic of disagreement now when the other person did the exact same thing before and you just kept quiet.

    whoops...it's supposed to be positives right? uhm... yes as mentioned, the sex is good. unless he sucks but you dont want to say cuz you're on ur best behavior...uh-oh...i did it again. lol
  • Jessika
    edited November 2006
    i recently started uni and moved away from home and my bf. i go home most weekends so i see him nearly every week but recently he said he is getting really depressed because he has too much college work to do and doesnt see me as much as he would like. how do i handle him being depressed...i don't like to hear him like this
  • Helen
    edited November 2006
    webcamm!! ;)
  • tudor
    edited November 2006
    i have happy story or at least at not so depressing one: me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years and a half and it became a long distance relationship 3 months after we started dating as i imigrated to canada. still together....i only see her in the summers cuz she is afterall 9200 km away :(
    but yah there have been some rough times but still every year, eventhough we r apart it seems that everyyear we get closer to each other...

    its rly true Long distance relationships are very hard but i just want to say that they r possible if its rly ment to be...:)
  • alesiar
    edited December 2006
    yah, I am in a long distance relationship too, and although it can be hard, its all worth it, because when you see each other, its just that more memorable. best of luck!
  • spoolin'
    edited December 2006
    ^^ wow, what a tiny world! My girlfriend's name is also Alesia R. lol!

    I'm also in a long distance relationship too and although things are difficult at times, it's definately all worth it! Distance makes the heart grow fonder ;)
  • tudor
    edited December 2006
    spoolin' said:
    although things are difficult at times, it's definately all worth it! Distance makes the heart grow fonder ;)
    nicely put!!

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