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So Sick of Asian 'nice' guys

guess4lifeguess4life
edited January 2010 in General
Recently my cousin just *****ed me out. I was talking to him on the phone and w/e because he's one of my best friends. He's very smart but very shy towards girls. He's 20 and he's never really had a girlfriend or anything and he goes to UC Berkeley. Anyway, I was telling him about my new boyfriend and etc, and he figured out the guy was white and he just exploded on me:

"What the hell is your problem!" "You're just helping the stereotype!" "Don't you know he's just using you." "Why can't you find a boy of your own race?"

He was essentially treating me like his little sister, which he does all the time, and I do not like it. It seems like every Asian guy wants me to fit into some sort of mold and date another Asian boy, like I belong to them or something. I've seen countless websites, Myspace messages, Facebook groups, and from talking to people in general. All seem to be saying:

"Date an Asian boy, he will treat you with respect because Asian boys are very smart and caring and will never cheat on you and will do anything for you and love you forever."

That's frankly really creepy and pathetic. Please..

What the hell am I supposed to do? Not even my family will accept me dating a white guy it seems.

Comments

  • Malakaiii
    edited March 2007
    I have a friend who is Italian and her boyfriend is black. She's 30, but she can't even TELL her parents because they will freak out. So it's not just some Asian families who get upset about people dating outside of their race.

    I think the whole thing is just ridiculous. Like my cousin said when she was 6: "If everyone married someone who was from a different race and they had kids, in a few years there would be no more racism"
  • siuying
    edited March 2007
    @malakaiii: or like russell peters said.. there would only be one race... and everyone's gonna be beige!!

    back to topic..

    i personally don't find all asian guys to be nice... smart.. and caring.. i've seen some spoiled.. immature and uncaring ones.. not to mention some of them are very cheap too.. i rmb a couple of times that my girls and i had to pay for the guy's share of food.. not that i hold the ideology that guys should pay for all expenses and stuff.. but heck.. atleast have the decency to pay back and say thanks? anyway that just ticked me off enough to say no to most asian guys... besides.. the qualities that your cousin listed are contingent on character and not the race itself.. and cheating? well go figure.. =)
  • eric
    edited March 2007
    hey
    I m a brown guy if your parents still have problem with white guy. I can date you, you can give a try.
  • Malakaiii
    edited March 2007
    AND that post rhymed! Pick Eric! :teeth:
  • Berlyn
    edited March 2007
    ever heard that song that goes....
    "Let's give 'em something to talk about.." ???
    I say do what makes you happy..and F*ck everyone else! They can complain all they want.
  • toast
    edited March 2007
    asian nice guy here lol
  • Smiles
    edited March 2007
    People like your judgmental cousin make it harder for good people out here. He says that "you’re helping the stereotype". Well, I think that it’s very close-minded of him to believe this stereotype and not look beyond. Why does he care so much of what other people think? Do whatever feels good for you, and screw everyone else. If you & your boyfriend are happy with each other, go for it. You are not hurting anyone. Your cousin feels mad because of his own issues.

    BTW, I'm Chinese and I have been going out with a white guy for over 5 years, so I guess I am just helping the stereotype. We had and still have problems with people judging us. But that’s their problem, not ours. I realize that it will always be like this, and I can't help what other people think.
  • illicit
    edited March 2007
    i'm asian. but i find i get along with caucasian girls a lot better...
  • noname
    edited March 2007
    I'm asian and I've dated caucasian and brown girls. They showed interest first then we took it from there. I find that I get along better with east asian girls though.

    I never introduced any of the girls I've dated to my parents though cuz they simply don't really care :).
  • El_Cambumbo
    edited April 2007
    A lot of Asian people frown on interracial dating, they want to keep the bloodline pure, I suppose. Personally I don't really care, because this is Canada, it's a multicultural place. However, I still prefer my own kind.
  • illicit
    edited April 2007
    noname said:

    I never introduced any of the girls I've dated to my parents though cuz they simply don't really care about me in general.
    i think that's what you left out in your post .
  • JUSTIN796
    edited January 2010
    toast;11718 said:
    asian nice guy here lol
    haha same here.

    I agree though it's stupid how parents and family are so against us dating people outside our race. Who cares? I mean love should be the only thing that matters.

    I'm currently in a relationship with a caucasian girl and our families aren't exactly that supportive of it but we've been going on for about 17 months now and everything is great. My girlfriend is awesome and i think it's just a big stereotype on asians as being the meek nice guys who won't cheat and crap. Asians can be just as bad... heck my ex gf was asian and she cheated so i had to end it. But yeah nice guys will eventually win out in the long run over all those jocks and bad boys that the girls seem to chase after now.
  • mars
    edited January 2010
    f you think white guy will never cheat you, go ahead. The people above just don't want you to write a similar post after few years/months/days saying that "I dated a white guy but he left me what should I do now".... etc

    good luckkkk
  • hikin
    edited January 2010
    guys...

    this thread is over 2 years old.

    shes probably been fucked...


    and...


    chucked...

    by some white guy already.
  • NukeChem
    edited January 2010
    I just roll my eyes at all the stupid racial bullshit that goes on around dating.

    Date who you want, and to hell with the naysayers.

    Now that said, if your dating partner (be it guy, girl or space alien) behaves badly to you, or you feel uncomfortable, it isn't gonna matter what race they are, they're being asshats and y'all should break up with 'em.
  • JUSTIN796
    edited January 2010
    NukeChem;63277 said:
    I just roll my eyes at all the stupid racial bullshit that goes on around dating.

    Date who you want, and to hell with the naysayers.

    Now that said, if your dating partner (be it guy, girl or space alien) behaves badly to you, or you feel uncomfortable, it isn't gonna matter what race they are, they're being asshats and y'all should break up with 'em.
    i agree, the naysayers are just full of crap and they always contradict themselves when it comes to these kinds of issues.
  • vonnie
    edited January 2010
    hikin;63254 said:
    guys...

    this thread is over 2 years old.

    shes probably been fucked...


    and...


    chucked...

    by some white guy already.
    Hahaha We both know where we stand on this topic
  • Raptors
    edited January 2010
    gg
  • tdn2
    Every person is an individual and cannot be generalized or stereotyped by just saying Asian, White, Brown or Black. It's true that different cultures have their own beliefs, but in places that is multicultural like Vancouver, it's hard to judge a person by their skin, bcuz he/she might look Asian but educated in Western style, or look White but raised in Japan..=D

    A person's character is just too complex to predict..
  • Graphfix
    If you like/love the person you are dating/with, it should not matter to you who says anything negative or otherwise untoward your lover/beloved. If they have a problem, perceived or otherwise, avoid speaking with them or hanging with them. The people who have these problems are those who do not have a relationship which might be loving or caring. They think race, looks or finances are everything (this is called insecurity of person) however meaningful they may think in advising you that you should be with someone that is of the same race, religion, accord, sex, or financial standing, is in some twisted way caring about your well-being, is wrong think. They should be supportive of your choices and learn to accept that you have a person who wishes to be with you, regardless of the social stigmatisms that people generally associate with any relationship. Either you care about what you think about the relationship or you live your life in accordance with what others tell you to do. One day, you will have to grow up and stop relying on other who are close to you like family to do your thinking for you. IF they can not accept who you are with; tough. But, remember, family should be there with you to support you should your choice in relationship partner/better-half/BF/GF turns sour. Remember that your choices are the right ones for you, until those choices show you that there is a better choice; with that being said, you and your choice can never be wrong. Forget the outwardness of your partner even if others tell you that they are wrong for you based on such useless parameters as age, sex, race, religion, accord, or financial standing. Now forget what I have posted here and make a good decision for you. - CHEERS!

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