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It's impossible for a guy and a girl to be 100% "true" friends

edited January 2007 in General
Sexual tension will always get in the way. There will always be that primal urge that goes deeper than conscious though. Obviously a lot of people will deny it, but admit it, in almost every friendship, there is at least an iota of desire, whether sexual or romantic.

Also, men and women are too different from each other, so this also detracts from any possibility of a "true friendship". Males bond with males in a different way than males and females bond, for example.

It will never be the same.

Not that I'm saying there's no point in having friends of the opposite sex, but don't be naive, accept the fact that it's not a "true friendship", and treat it as such. It's a different kind of friendship, and it can be just as good.

Thoughts? Anyone want to bring some examples to the table to try and disprove me?

Comments

  • edited January 2007
    I don't agree.

    My closest friend is a guy and although there was a point years ago where he wanted me, it is no longer so. Once we got to know each other it changed for him (he was always just a friend, to me), our personalities are just not compatible in a dating kind of way. I am not at all attracted to him and he feels the same.

    He certainly is a true friend though.
  • edited January 2007
    False.

    A great friend of mine is a girl. At first I wanted something with her, but it never happened and she started dating a guy she'd known for years.

    I quickly got over my romantic feelings for her, and we've been really good and supportive friends since.

    It can happen man. All it takes is mutual understanding, maturity, and sometimes a bit of time.
  • edited January 2007
    the guy and girl are both alone, and she starts undressing asking the male 'friend' to have her, would the guy go.. sorry i dont want to risk our friendship

    /shrug
  • edited January 2007
    I disagree. I think that while a male/female friendship may start out on that basis (or one develops a crush on the other), I really don't think that a friendship can survive on that kind of sexual tension.

    My best friend, I've known for 9 years. We kissed once but then realized it wasn't for us and have remained great friends. And we are both dating other people. Other friends of mine, who I've had a crush on, after telling them or trying things out, we've still remained friends. And there is no tension there at all...

    So maybe a friendship may originally have those feelings, if it's going to last it's best to get them out...
  • edited January 2007
    I think maturity is a big factor when it comes to remaining friends. I'm in a situation right now where my ex girlfriend doesn't think our relationship was right for her...which is fine as long as she's happy in life. But its a true test of maturity if we are able to stay friends. Sure it means blocking out feelings for a while and sure it means biting the bullet for things that might normally hurt (ie. seeing other people) but sometimes thats what it takes if you truly care about someone...
  • edited January 2007
    i disagree too.. i have some close male friends that i've known for years and i've never felt anything of that sort before.. the sexual tension you talk of doesn't happen spontaneously or to every opposite sex you come across.. so i think i can safely say that guys and girls can become true friends...
  • edited January 2007
    I disagree.
    I've been friends with my ex's for quite a while and I've no intentions nor the thought of being with them again. same goes for my girl friends. I also wouldn't want to lose a close friend if anything were to happen later on.

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