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Dating Tips
Yes.... yet another shameless copy and past by me..... At least it's funny!
THE DINNER
While waiting for your food, shes bound to start some small talk.. any time she brings up one of her girlfriends, make her describe them... physically... weight and breast size are a good way to start. Also find out if they're single in case this date don't work out.
Don't talk about your recent ex.. talk about the girl you dated when you were fifteen... and how smoking hot she was back then.
At some point in the evening, tell her you brought her something. Pull a tampon out of your pocket. Tell her you stole it off your mom. Girls like presents.
Convince her it'd be fun to try eating dinner w/out using your hands.... let her know you like doing ALOT of things without using your hands.
Whatever you order, insist that the waiter cuts it for you at the table. This will show you're a hard ass because you boss people around. Chicks dig that.
When your food arrives, grab the little sprig of parsley off your plate and throw it at the wall, screaming "What the Fvck is this!?"
While she's eating, keep looking at her with a confused expression. Say "Are you really going to eat ALL of that?". If she says yes, just shake your head at her and chuckle to yourself.
While eating your food, avoid all outside distractions like conversation. Eat every bite as fast as you possibly can, so you can start working on her plate too before she eats it all. If she gets mad, remind her that YOUR the one paying for it anyway, and no one likes a bitch.
THE DINNER
While waiting for your food, shes bound to start some small talk.. any time she brings up one of her girlfriends, make her describe them... physically... weight and breast size are a good way to start. Also find out if they're single in case this date don't work out.
Don't talk about your recent ex.. talk about the girl you dated when you were fifteen... and how smoking hot she was back then.
At some point in the evening, tell her you brought her something. Pull a tampon out of your pocket. Tell her you stole it off your mom. Girls like presents.
Convince her it'd be fun to try eating dinner w/out using your hands.... let her know you like doing ALOT of things without using your hands.
Whatever you order, insist that the waiter cuts it for you at the table. This will show you're a hard ass because you boss people around. Chicks dig that.
When your food arrives, grab the little sprig of parsley off your plate and throw it at the wall, screaming "What the Fvck is this!?"
While she's eating, keep looking at her with a confused expression. Say "Are you really going to eat ALL of that?". If she says yes, just shake your head at her and chuckle to yourself.
While eating your food, avoid all outside distractions like conversation. Eat every bite as fast as you possibly can, so you can start working on her plate too before she eats it all. If she gets mad, remind her that YOUR the one paying for it anyway, and no one likes a bitch.
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