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How did/do/would you tell your parents your moving out?
I'm moving out in less than a month. I've signed the contract, paid the deposit so the easy part is done with.
One major reason I'm moving out is because I want a good relationship with my parents in the long run. But I think, at 22, the longer I stay here, the more difficult it is doing so. I'd say we're a normal family but every little argument automatically makes it hard for me to sleep/focus on schoolwork. Plus, I need to break some habits/attitudes because I think I'm starting to develop some of theirs.
As you can see, I have a reason for moving out, but that's not what I want to tell them. So how do I tell them? "Yo ma, dad, I'm moving out. Peace!"?
One major reason I'm moving out is because I want a good relationship with my parents in the long run. But I think, at 22, the longer I stay here, the more difficult it is doing so. I'd say we're a normal family but every little argument automatically makes it hard for me to sleep/focus on schoolwork. Plus, I need to break some habits/attitudes because I think I'm starting to develop some of theirs.
As you can see, I have a reason for moving out, but that's not what I want to tell them. So how do I tell them? "Yo ma, dad, I'm moving out. Peace!"?
Comments
One thing: getting amicable relations with the parents can make it way easier to get Telus and Shaw in for telco and cable (as well as BC Hydro for electricity) because the 'rents will likely be happy to co-sign for you since you likely have no credit history.
The only other way to get those services is usually to cough up a huge deposit. I had to give Telus $200 and they held it for something like three years before I finally got my money back.
Anyway, I understand what your saying and it does seem the moving date might be too soon for them.
I'm not generally the kind of guy who would ask them to sit down and listen because I have something to say or something like that. I usually keep to myself that's probably why telling them this isn't a cakewalk for me.
you gonna get yo ass beat mang.
lol.
your mom will most likely flip out, go crazy or do the asian mom thing.
your dad will either yell/raise his voice, or yell and tell you to gtfo when he doesnt mean it.
best that you just man up face it and just tell them you're going out the door. they'll flip out for a while but get over it.
also, you're moving out to improve the relationship with your folks? you sure thats whats gonna happen? double edged knife, it could mess up your relationship even more putting a distance between ya'll.
also, paying for rent, utilities and what not probably means you gotta work more to pay the bills when you probably didnt have to at home. combined with other responsibilities of moving out i dunno if it'll level the playing field with the whole "arguing makes it hard for you to concentrate for school shit".
your reason for moving out seems to be to avoid conflict with your folks because it distracts you from your studies. you dont think that moving out will also cause your folks to argue with you and cause more drama in your life? thus making it hard for you to study?
But regardless of what you do, I'm sure you'll find a way for it all to work out.
I'm trying not to get into too much detail. But yes. I just don't want to have to deal with arguments anymore because I can't focus. That's all. The last argument pushed me to look for a place. Simple as that.
I really have no idea how it's like with other families but I didn't want to make it seem like we're a broken family or something, because we're not.
We just have arguments. But the smallest issue quickly gets escalated. Is it because of their attitude, or is it mine? Either way, in my family, no one accepts their mistakes and apologizes for it. We just suck it up while the house goes quiet for about a week or two or wait until things get better. And because of that, nothing changes.
Also, in my family, there is no, "Hey can we sit down and have a talk? I have something to say." I tried that once but it's awkward with them because we're just not used to that. Nahmsayin? And that's probably one reason I'm finding it difficult to tell them I'm moving out.
I don't see it happening, but considering they don't take the news too well. I know I said I can't deal arguing with them, but I'm sure I could let one last argument past and hope that in a few weeks, months they'll eventually get over it.
Maybe I'm making a wrong decision here. Other than my reasons above, I do want to push myself to work a little bit harder anyway.
anyway.. signing the contract before talking to your parents is a bad move period.. but since that's already over and done with.. i'm not gonna go into the details.. right now you should find a way to tell them ASAP as they should and have the right to know.. preferably when everyone is a good/relaxed mood so that you can minimize the chances of it escalating into an argument.. be prepared get lashed out at you since well.. you didn't exactly give your parents a lot of time to let this sink in.. =\
tbh i don't think it's wise for you to move out when you're still a student.. unless you saved up for it.. but even at that (and i'm gonna assume there isn't a lot in the savings account but correct me if i'm wrong).. the savings could be put to better use than paying for rent.. i thought abt moving out too since the family dynamics can get a little extreme in my house.. but i figured it'll be beneficial for me to get out of school first.. get a job and have a steady source of income before considering that option..
the perks of living at home is the rent, groceries and expenses are all paid versus you having to pay all that on your own.. vancouver is an expensive city to live in so i'd choose to live with my parents any day (take full advantage of being a student!!) of course there's gonna be downsides with that.. but atleast you get to save up and those savings could come in handy in the future.. =)
btw.. how long is the contract for?
:D
God damn it's boring when you having nothing planned for the day!