Yeah right "just saying". Seriously, there is nothing objectionable or even amusing about this unless you're so insecure that you can't bear to imagine your significant other receiving pleasure from anyone but yourself. OP deserves credit for at least being secure enough to consider being in the room with another guy. You should all learn from his example.
if you love someone, you probably would want to keep that stuff between two people, eh? I'd say its normal to not want your girl to take it from another guy.
if you love someone, you probably would want to keep that stuff between two people, eh? I'd say its normal to not want your girl to take it from another guy.
You're forgetting sex does not neccesarily equivocate love.
I would never have a threesome with someone I was going out with, but if it were people I knew but not committed to maybe.
The thing is some people even have open relationships that work for them, so it really depends on the couple.
As for Kevins situation, does your roomie know about intentions? Do you think he would be open to it? As others said, if you watch the movie Young People Fucking, it might give you some perspective.
Okay, you know what? Next talksfu meetup I'm throwing the lot of you in a room and teaching you how to fuck properly. The situation here is absolutely unforgivable.
you know what? i'm not sure if people are going to come to the next talksfu meetup now that you confessed your intention of fucking some ppl on here... whether it's for the greater good or personal pleasure...
Why am I the only one here that thinks ferrous is a douche....seriously, whats wrong with you guys?
I think douche is probably a little harsh, but then again, I say the same thing about Ferrous' comment about the situation on this thread being "unforgivable".
Unforgivable because some people still prefer monogamy (emotional, as well as sexual) in a relationship? EGADS! What IS the world coming to??? haha
Look, it says something about the calibre of our community of students here, that the thread didn't immediately become a rantfest about God, the commandments, immorality, and a call to repentance (as it would have in some of the more conservative places I've lived); at the same time it comes off just as condescending when Ferrous implies that those of us who disagree with him are somehow in the wrong, or sexually immature, as opposed to us all just having different preferences. No need to go ad-hominem on one another, from either side.
THAT SAID, I think Random made a really good point when she noted that sex doesn't necessarily equal love. As someone who's done with the single scene and now in a very long-term relationship (ahem, MARRIAGE), I can attest to that.
I'm not trying to impose a moral judgement here; as a matter of fact, if Kevin had just recently met his girl at a club, and the same situation presented itself, I'd tell him to go for it, and I'd congratulate him for living the dream (HIGH FIVE, Borat style!) haha
BUT... Kevin said: 1. His buddy is one of his close friends 2. He's been with his GF for quite awhile and hopes to still be with her for quite awhile, AND 3. He's not sure if your relationship is strong enough to survive it.
If 2 of those 3 things were different, there wouldn't be any problem. But as it is, it would honestly have to be one HELL of a good time to risk a great GF, a good buddy, or both. I just can't imagine it being that mindblowingly awesome, and so that's why if I were in Kevin's shoes, I wouldn't do it.
And I'm still laughing about that story about "Bulldog".
In this thread, Ferris is being a bit over the top. I'm not sure if he's simply trying to portray himself as WORLDLY or if he didn't read OP's post entirely.
Like Tikwoze said above... the OP already expressed a few things about his relationship--and based off of that information, it's literally NOT RATIONAL to continue to pursue a threesome with his best friend and this GF he wants to keep.
I found Ferris's comment on people "not knowing how to fuck" somewhat annoyingly elitist. I didn't know fucking had to involve three people.
But I agree with Ferris in commending Kevin in being so open. Having questions such as these is definitely not something to be ridiculed--even if most of us find this to be a silly question as it has an easy answer. Not every person has the same values and morals and it is much better for everyone on the forum if they just respect that. This goes for Ferris and whoever else attempts to come off "elitist". By claiming your preference is better than another person's is really still just point of view, not fact.
I think you guys are right...I shouldn't risk the great relationships I have with them just to fulfill my short sighted sexual fantasy. It clearly won't make our relationship any better than it already is other then the fact that it's a big turn and I just wanna do it. Maybe it'll happen later down the road with a different couple of individuals you never know. Hmmm...wonder what my hot ex is up to these days....lol
Thanks for all the opinions and perspectives you guys provided, I wasn't sure if this is normal and I'm glad this is the one place I can ask something like this and not get flamed to death. you guys are awesome! Ferrous too lol
In this thread, Ferris is being a bit over the top. I'm not sure if he's simply trying to portray himself as WORLDLY or if he didn't read OP's post entirely.
First of all it's Ferrous. I contain iron damn it. Second, of course I'm being over the top. I'm not dead being dead serious here. I don't plan on literally oiling up and fucking every poster at the next meetup (just IVT) and of course I don't really know what your sex lives are like. If people really approached their own sex lives like they did this hypothetical the result would be very boring. I was trying to point out that they were treating this situation differently.
Lixie;57132 said:
Like Tikwoze said above... the OP already expressed a few things about his relationship--and based off of that information, it's literally NOT RATIONAL to continue to pursue a threesome with his best friend and this GF he wants to keep.
Stop saying this, the discussion hasn't reached the point of knowing that yet. Kevin is mature enough to have this discussion, his GF probably is too. It's not for us to say if he should go through with it (despite my sarcastic first post). He needs to have the conversation to figure that out. That dialogue will also open the door for his girlfriend to talk about her fantasies. It's really a discussion that every couple should be able to have.
Lixie;57132 said:
I found Ferris's comment on people "not knowing how to fuck" somewhat annoyingly elitist. I didn't know fucking had to involve three people.
First of all, see above. Second of all, elitism is good. Accusations that it isn't tend to come from those who don't qualify as elite.
Lixie;57132 said:
But I agree with Ferris in commending Kevin in being so open. Having questions such as these is definitely not something to be ridiculed--even if most of us find this to be a silly question as it has an easy answer.
Maybe it's just your preference to say that no one's preference is better, and who are you to say that that preference is better? In any case I'm not attacking anyone's preference directly, just the thinking that leads to it. If a couple is able to take a 21st century view of sex and have open discussions about their fantasies and still end up deciding that they want to be monogamous and only do it missionary with the lights out, fine.
I can understand monogamy being the popular choice. It's safer in pretty much every way. That having been said, the responses in this thread overwhelmingly centered around protecting the monogamous relationship. So one more time: I'm not saying there's no risk to existing relationships because there is. What I'm saying is that the only way to assess that risk is to have an open, judgment-free discussion with everyone involved.
First of all it's Ferrous. I contain iron damn it. Second, of course I'm being over the top. I'm not dead being dead serious here. I don't plan on literally oiling up and fucking every poster at the next meetup (just IVT) and of course I don't really know what your sex lives are like. If people really approached their own sex lives like they did this hypothetical the result would be very boring. I was trying to point out that they were treating this situation differently.
Sorry, sorry, Ferrous. It was somewhat difficult to differentiate sarcasm and real opinion, it being simple text and all. But I will definitely try better in the future to decipher forum posts better.
Stop saying this, the discussion hasn't reached the point of knowing that yet. Kevin is mature enough to have this discussion, his GF probably is too. It's not for us to say if he should go through with it (despite my sarcastic first post). He needs to have the conversation to figure that out. That dialogue will also open the door for his girlfriend to talk about her fantasies. It's really a discussion that every couple should be able to have.
We do KNOW that. Kevin simplified the dynamics of his relationships in the first post.
I don't really disagree with you, as I had said that it was Kevin's question to ask and I also felt he shouldn't have been ridiculed for it.
First of all, see above. Second of all, elitism is good. Accusations that it isn't tend to come from those who don't qualify as elite.
Elitism is good? On what grounds? There is a difference between an "elite" on the internet than what an actual elite is. I don't bash elites--I bash people who have elitist attitudes without having proved themselves to be elites. Elitism--or speaking/behaving with an elitist attitude--does not make you an elite. So far most of your posts in our forum demonstrate that you capable of intelligent conversation and all that jazz, but being an elite is about what you can accomplish with that intelligence rather than how much you can lord it over others.
Maybe it's just your preference to say that no one's preference is better, and who are you to say that that preference is better? In any case I'm not attacking anyone's preference directly, just the thinking that leads to it. If a couple is able to take a 21st century view of sex and have open discussions about their fantasies and still end up deciding that they want to be monogamous and only do it missionary with the lights out, fine.
It not a preference; it's fact. The fact that one preference is not better than another is a simple stated fact--or else it would not be called preference. It's like saying an apple is better than an orange--it is all perspective when it involves human choice and reason.
I can understand monogamy being the popular choice. It's safer in pretty much every way. That having been said, the responses in this thread overwhelmingly centered around protecting the monogamous relationship. So one more time: I'm not saying there's no risk to existing relationships because there is. What I'm saying is that the only way to assess that risk is to have an open, judgment-free discussion with everyone involved.
Actually, the responses involved protecting his relationship with his girlfriend AS WELL as preserving his friendship with his roommate. I read quite a few posts stating that threesomes are perfectly normal with people who you don't have serious connections with.
As well, Kevin did say that he did not feel ridiculed by this thread--as you seem to think. So what you are fighting for/standing up for, I no longer understand. Maybe you're simply too intelligent for me--who knows.
Comments
The thing is some people even have open relationships that work for them, so it really depends on the couple.
As for Kevins situation, does your roomie know about intentions? Do you think he would be open to it? As others said, if you watch the movie Young People Fucking, it might give you some perspective.
At times you're like the random fat guy in the theatre who yells out a 'funny comment' at the end of the movie :omg:
this guy is just a straight up elitist douche that thinks he know everything about anything
Unforgivable because some people still prefer monogamy (emotional, as well as sexual) in a relationship? EGADS! What IS the world coming to??? haha
Look, it says something about the calibre of our community of students here, that the thread didn't immediately become a rantfest about God, the commandments, immorality, and a call to repentance (as it would have in some of the more conservative places I've lived); at the same time it comes off just as condescending when Ferrous implies that those of us who disagree with him are somehow in the wrong, or sexually immature, as opposed to us all just having different preferences. No need to go ad-hominem on one another, from either side.
THAT SAID, I think Random made a really good point when she noted that sex doesn't necessarily equal love. As someone who's done with the single scene and now in a very long-term relationship (ahem, MARRIAGE), I can attest to that.
I'm not trying to impose a moral judgement here; as a matter of fact, if Kevin had just recently met his girl at a club, and the same situation presented itself, I'd tell him to go for it, and I'd congratulate him for living the dream (HIGH FIVE, Borat style!) haha
BUT... Kevin said:
1. His buddy is one of his close friends
2. He's been with his GF for quite awhile and hopes to still be with her for quite awhile, AND
3. He's not sure if your relationship is strong enough to survive it.
If 2 of those 3 things were different, there wouldn't be any problem. But as it is, it would honestly have to be one HELL of a good time to risk a great GF, a good buddy, or both. I just can't imagine it being that mindblowingly awesome, and so that's why if I were in Kevin's shoes, I wouldn't do it.
And I'm still laughing about that story about "Bulldog".
Like Tikwoze said above... the OP already expressed a few things about his relationship--and based off of that information, it's literally NOT RATIONAL to continue to pursue a threesome with his best friend and this GF he wants to keep.
I found Ferris's comment on people "not knowing how to fuck" somewhat annoyingly elitist. I didn't know fucking had to involve three people.
But I agree with Ferris in commending Kevin in being so open. Having questions such as these is definitely not something to be ridiculed--even if most of us find this to be a silly question as it has an easy answer. Not every person has the same values and morals and it is much better for everyone on the forum if they just respect that. This goes for Ferris and whoever else attempts to come off "elitist". By claiming your preference is better than another person's is really still just point of view, not fact.
Thanks for all the opinions and perspectives you guys provided, I wasn't sure if this is normal and I'm glad this is the one place I can ask something like this and not get flamed to death. you guys are awesome! Ferrous too lol
Stop saying this, the discussion hasn't reached the point of knowing that yet. Kevin is mature enough to have this discussion, his GF probably is too. It's not for us to say if he should go through with it (despite my sarcastic first post). He needs to have the conversation to figure that out. That dialogue will also open the door for his girlfriend to talk about her fantasies. It's really a discussion that every couple should be able to have. First of all, see above. Second of all, elitism is good. Accusations that it isn't tend to come from those who don't qualify as elite. Maybe it's just your preference to say that no one's preference is better, and who are you to say that that preference is better? In any case I'm not attacking anyone's preference directly, just the thinking that leads to it. If a couple is able to take a 21st century view of sex and have open discussions about their fantasies and still end up deciding that they want to be monogamous and only do it missionary with the lights out, fine.
I can understand monogamy being the popular choice. It's safer in pretty much every way. That having been said, the responses in this thread overwhelmingly centered around protecting the monogamous relationship. So one more time: I'm not saying there's no risk to existing relationships because there is. What I'm saying is that the only way to assess that risk is to have an open, judgment-free discussion with everyone involved.
I don't really disagree with you, as I had said that it was Kevin's question to ask and I also felt he shouldn't have been ridiculed for it. Elitism is good? On what grounds? There is a difference between an "elite" on the internet than what an actual elite is. I don't bash elites--I bash people who have elitist attitudes without having proved themselves to be elites. Elitism--or speaking/behaving with an elitist attitude--does not make you an elite. So far most of your posts in our forum demonstrate that you capable of intelligent conversation and all that jazz, but being an elite is about what you can accomplish with that intelligence rather than how much you can lord it over others. It not a preference; it's fact. The fact that one preference is not better than another is a simple stated fact--or else it would not be called preference. It's like saying an apple is better than an orange--it is all perspective when it involves human choice and reason. Actually, the responses involved protecting his relationship with his girlfriend AS WELL as preserving his friendship with his roommate. I read quite a few posts stating that threesomes are perfectly normal with people who you don't have serious connections with.
As well, Kevin did say that he did not feel ridiculed by this thread--as you seem to think. So what you are fighting for/standing up for, I no longer understand. Maybe you're simply too intelligent for me--who knows.