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I want a Threesome
So here's my dilemma...it's a doozy.
I have a really hot girlfriend and we love to hang out at my condo, watch movies, get high and have sex. Our sex life is pretty crazy...every time we do it it seems more mind blowing and intense then the last time. I also have a roommate who is around once in awhile, so we usually have to be pretty discreet when he is. He's also one of my really close friends, so it's not too uncomfortable or anything if he's in the other room.
Now here's my problem...I've been having this huge craving to have a threesome. I think my girlfriend would be down with it (I've mentioned it casually and she doesn't seem to be appalled at the idea) but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I mean, most guys fantasize about having a threesome, and I know a few guys that have even pulled it off believe it or not. But the problem is that I've been with this girl for a pretty long time and I plan on being with her in the future.
I'm worried that if we go through with a threesome, it might make things awkward or even worse, I might not be able to handle the fact that she's been with my friend. Even though I'm really turned on by the idea of involving my roommate into things, I don't know if our relationship would be strong enough to survive that, let alone the social ramificiations if people we know found out.
SOOO conflicted
I have a really hot girlfriend and we love to hang out at my condo, watch movies, get high and have sex. Our sex life is pretty crazy...every time we do it it seems more mind blowing and intense then the last time. I also have a roommate who is around once in awhile, so we usually have to be pretty discreet when he is. He's also one of my really close friends, so it's not too uncomfortable or anything if he's in the other room.
Now here's my problem...I've been having this huge craving to have a threesome. I think my girlfriend would be down with it (I've mentioned it casually and she doesn't seem to be appalled at the idea) but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I mean, most guys fantasize about having a threesome, and I know a few guys that have even pulled it off believe it or not. But the problem is that I've been with this girl for a pretty long time and I plan on being with her in the future.
I'm worried that if we go through with a threesome, it might make things awkward or even worse, I might not be able to handle the fact that she's been with my friend. Even though I'm really turned on by the idea of involving my roommate into things, I don't know if our relationship would be strong enough to survive that, let alone the social ramificiations if people we know found out.
SOOO conflicted
Comments
I think I would have a problem with it, only because I wouldn't want to see the third person after.
@ nicole: You raise a good point, even if your first sentence is really fucking confusing. I often hear that people who want to or actually do have threesomes never want to see the third person after. I think that's a shitty attitude. You don't need to be awkward about it, unless the sex itself is awkward I guess. I think most of it is wanting to be sure that any group play doesn't make the couple's relationship any less special or secure. The third person has to be kept at a distance because who ever heard of a good relationship between three people right? In one sense it's good that Kevin wants his good friend involved because that suggests some acceptance of sex in relationships other than standard issue monogamous hetero dating.
One suggestion for you Kevin: Have you thought about a foursome? It might help to maintain everyone's emotional boundaries while still allowing you to form a big writhing pile of slippery bodies on the floor. It might help to alleviate whatever same-sex anxiety anyone has if no one is outnumbered. The bottom line is that nothing is going to happen without talking, so talk to the gf and see what she's down for. If she's interested then maybe she's the best one to talk to your friend. You're still going to have to talk to him though to establish what boundaries the two of you have.
If everyone isn't on the same page things could get bad, right? You don't want to wait until everyone's all lubed up to find out that the GF is not interested in being double penetrated, or that she wants to start off by "just watching the two of you." You also want to be sure no one gets stuck in the corner watching the other two pounding away (unless you're into that). If you talk it all out beforehand and go in with a sense of humor everyone should be fine.
Just don't let your dicks touch or you will magically be turned gay.
M-m-f is a bit more interesting, although the f is doing quite a lot.
In consideration of safe sex as well m-m-f is more practical.
So you're open to/turned on by the idea of witnessing your guy roommate - someone you live with day and night - completely naked with a full boner inside whichever hole you gf wants it in while shes enjoying it?
Don't get me wrong. I ain't criticizing bro. I'm just really amused to find people with different preferences. Like in that ultimate asian hotties thread, how other members think some asians are hot when I don't.
If you have a f-f-m all that happens is they have to worship the guy and you're really limited to what you can do.
Think of it as puzzle pieces, the ones with the prongs and the ones with the holes.
As for the OP, why can't you just get another dildo, butt plug, or strap on? Is there something specific that you absolutely need another live body? Or do you (both of you) prefer another live body?
as for f-f-m vs. m-m-f.. although it is easier to think about it in terms of puzzles.. it's not all just about prongs and holes.. there's quite a bit you can do with each combination if you think about it.. but would almost always result in the outnumbered gender doing more work than the other..
Are you just contemplating about the threesome because you just want to fulfill this fantasy of yours due to curiosity or is it mostly for pleasure? Because let me tell you something, it's not going to be super pleasurable for you. From experience in MMF threesomes, it's definitely the girl that gets all the attention... and I mean ALL of it. Sure, threesomes are pretty hot but I'm sure the girl will benefit the most out of it, as if it's not obvious already. It's still something worth experiencing if you haven't done it already... I just hope it won't create any tension between your girlfriend and your friend.
Maybe try bringing it up again to your girlfriend if you seriously want it to happen. Hopefully she'll go with it! Good luck, dude.
I mean if a guy is nailing one chick, the best he can do is oral or manual stimulation of the other. (in my mind you could do the former with just one other person and the latter by yourself, so why bother with the threesome to begin with? unless the thought of another chick does it for you)
If its the other way around, I mean both guys can be getting something they like out of it, and the girl.
As kinky said as well, whoever the person is, who is the f in the mmf or the m in the ffm, is going to get the most pleasure but i think its more across the board in mmf
Y'all either need to get more creative or just get really high.
Edit: Dammit random. You seem to have a really procedural view of sex in general so I'll just grant you this point and my sympathies (on not having ever received proper oral) if you concede that members of the same sex are allowed to touch each other on occasion. See me after class.
And just to clarify, it's all about the double penetration for me so anything other then MMF would obviously not work (and i'm not talking anal). I'm still kinda sketch about the social consequences afterwards...I don't really want to lose either one of them so I think it's one of those things that I might have to just "let happen" instead of try to plan it out.
I'm so screwed...
anyway why would you assume it's about insecurity? what if I had the bigger schlong, better body, better skills in bed? there's other reasons too like risking your gf into enjoying random strangers. you're mentally fucked with doubts of what the other does behind your back if it ever gets rocky, even a bit, after that. at this point, it's not a matter of insecurity, it's about watching your back from being the guy whose gf is everyone's fuckbuddy. although i'm sure this is not always the case, it takes a strong couple to handle this. and a strong couple is what's not very common nowadays. especially in college.
and let me tell you something about insecurities/confidence. even if you're the most confident/secure guy your gf's ever known, it does not guarantee you anything. nothing does. but your overall character, how you handle situations, the kind of choices you make does make a difference. so the moment you do something out of the ordinary, it's never the same again.
but again to clarify, i'm not discouraging the OP from pursuing his fantasies.
Lastly, That's not exactly the same thing....
There's a threesome scene that's hilarious and might give u some perspective :)
It's not "awkward," but there will be ramifications.
1) Your gf could very well wonder if she is enough for you or if you now require your male roommate's participation as well.
2) Your gf and your roommate hit it off.
3) After the fact, you suddenly realise you are bothered after all by another man's dick being in your girlfriend's poon.
4) After the fact, your gf suddenly realises she is bothered after all by having fucked another guy along with you.
So if she is not marriage material, I'd say go for it. And if your roommate isn't your best friend or which ever, go for it.
If you plan to continue your relationship with the chick as well as maintain your friendship with your roommate, I'd think twice about how things might change after the fact.
Sure, you can all try to act mature and pretend you are all being adults--and it is simply for pleasure's sake. But emotions are emotions--they hit you unexpectedly and unless you have an idea of what you might be facing, you shouldn't be doing this shit at all.
http://newcastleunited.rivals.net/FORUM/pgePosts.aspx?boardId=103&clubId=55&threadId=520491&pageNumber=1
if you do go through with it even after reading it, dont let your swords cross...haha.
Seriously though, I gotta agree with Trixie. I've seen a few relationships ruined by things not working out as they had been envisioned beforehand. If both of these relationships are ones that you see continuing for any decent length of time, it's just too much of a risk.
If you guys do want to try a threesome, I'd say for you and your GF to go out and meet somebody (at a club, online, on campus, whatever) to join in. That way, if it's not the great experience you hoped, you can still have a normal relationship with your GF, without having to be reminded of it all the time, or the awkward hello everytime she comes over and he's playing xbox in the front room.
duh
Okay, you know what? Next talksfu meetup I'm throwing the lot of you in a room and teaching you how to fuck properly. The situation here is absolutely unforgivable.
And finally, OP: Kudos again on being so open and secure. If double vaginal is the goal your girlfriend will need some time to prep- practicing with toys might actually be good. If not, you'll just want buckets of lube. Silicone would be best. Also keep in mind that latex on latex is a great way to break a condom. If your girlfriend is on birth control just get everyone tested and all go bareback. If she's not on BC I don't really know what to tell you. Enough lube might do the trick but there is nothing scarier than the feeling of a breaking condom and it would suck to have something like that kill the mood.
And as long as you're seriously pursuing this fantasy you should be sure to ask your girlfriend about her fantasies and what she'd like to live out. Considering she's the one about to get stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey I'd say you owe her.
Edit: Which is not to say she shouldn't enjoy it, of course.
Of course you could categorize any reason as insecurity! It's the easy conclusion!
For the last time, all I was saying, and this is nothing about insecurity or being superior and shit, is think through what could happen before, during, and after the threesome with the roommate. Consider the possible awkwardness and complications later on. If you want an MMF threesome, get some other dude you're not close with. Fuckin go on craigslist even if you want. Better yet, ask if ferrous is interested.