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Deal-breakers!

nicole
edited August 2009 in General
What are your 'deal-breakers' when looking for a partner/being with someone? Not necessarily what are you attracted to, but what would you find to be an absolute deal-breaker in a relationship?

My boyfriend and I were talking about this last week, and it was interesting to see what we both came up with.

For me, I'm attracted to someone tall with dark hair -- 2 dealbreakers. Another is determination (not success, just someone who is determined), and someone who is in-shape. Also, smoking is a dealbreaker so I need a non-smoker.

His was: hair length (not like Kate Gosselin short), hair colour (prefers blondes) weight (slim), intelligence, determination, and family background (as in $$$, which I argued).


...and go!
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Comments

  • vonnie
    edited June 2009
    I'll do this in a bit, but I'd like to point out Kate Gosselin has a reverse mullet.
  • IVTIVT
    edited June 2009
    intelligence, amount of makeup, hobbies, weight, activities in spare time, interests


    wow i'm shallow. FML
  • GeoGeek
    edited June 2009
    My deal breakers are stupidity (no amount of beauty can replace this), short hair, smoker, potty mouth, and non-feminine types (overly tomboyish?).
  • xxk1nky
    edited June 2009
    My deal breakers are lack of aspirations or goals, drug-use, and smokers... and Asians (but I am breaking this bad habit and giving Asians a chance again, haha)
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited June 2009
    My #1 dealbreakers: Bitches and bitches who are proud of being one. Also bitches trying to be nice to everyone but fail at it.
  • Kevin M.Kevin M.
    edited June 2009
    Bitchy attitude, make up, and height (girls that are taller than me is a huge turn off no matter how hot they are)
  • IVTIVT
    edited June 2009
    i forgot about the bitchy attitude
  • nicole
    edited June 2009
    Kevin M.;56997 said:
    Bitchy attitude, make up, and height (girls that are taller than me is a huge turn off no matter how hot they are)
    Makeup? As in too much or in general?
    How tall are you btw?


    I found the whole dealbreaker discussion pretty funny. I cut my hair super short last summer (think Victoria Beckham short-short) and I could tell he didn't like it, but I didn't realize it was a dealbreaker. So it's growing out, haha.
  • vonnie
    edited June 2009
    Short guys, long hair, smokers, druggies, irresponsible drinkers, artsy/poetic guys, unfit guys...

    I really don't like artsy guys, lol.
  • Justin Credible
    edited June 2009
    attitude problems mainly is a deal breaker . so is smoking and drugs.
  • IVTIVT
    edited June 2009
    anything at all can be a dealbreaker now that i think about it
  • randomuser
    edited June 2009
    nicole;56984 said:
    What are your 'deal-breakers' when looking for a partner/being with someone? Not necessarily what are you attracted to, but what would you find to be an absolute deal-breaker in a relationship?

    My boyfriend and I were talking about this last week, and it was interesting to see what we both came up with.

    For me, I'm attracted to someone tall with dark hair -- 2 dealbreakers. Another is determination (not success, just someone who is determined), and someone who is in-shape. Also, smoking is a dealbreaker so I need a non-smoker.

    His was: hair length (not like Kate Gosselin short), hair colour (prefers blondes) weight (slim), intelligence, determination, and family background (as in $$$, which I argued).


    ...and go!
    I've had this conversation before with guys I was seeing.

    ...how much did it bother you that he said family background is a big deal? I could see that really bothering me, although it wouldn't be a 'deal breaker'.
  • siuying
    edited June 2009
    smoking is a definite dealbreaker.. i can't stand the smell nor the idea that i will have to kiss a smoker... so is drugs.. others include.. hmm.. violent? emo? oh.. and possessiveness.. an excess of this can be a huge turn off for me..

    another thing is the guy being younger than me.. this has more to do with maturity than age really.. experience tells me that younger guys normally don't possess the level of maturity that i'm looking for.. but if the guy can prove otherwise then age doesn't become a factor..
  • buflibufli
    edited July 2009
    - lack of confidence/self esteem
    - uneducated family
    - bad/boring/conservative in bed
  • ikkaku
    edited July 2009
    if a girl uses more profanity than me.... instant NO! (though it's highly unlikely hahah)

    also if they're the type that overanalyzes/overthinks everything

    smoking and binge drinkers are bad... i don't care if you club but when you're always shitfaced.. hell nawwwwwwww
  • nicole
    edited July 2009
    randomuser;57030 said:
    I've had this conversation before with guys I was seeing.

    ...how much did it bother you that he said family background is a big deal? I could see that really bothering me, although it wouldn't be a 'deal breaker'.
    It bothered me when he first said it, only because I was surprised, but once he explained it made sense. His family has done well for themselves and he's done very well for himself so far, so he wouldn't want to be with someone who comes from virtually nothing (imagine the 'culture' shock, and golddigger comes to mind). I outright told him I'm a poor student, but my family is like his and has done well so it didn't matter. The age difference really wouldn't allow me to be on his financial level so to speak!

    I can see how it would rub someone the wrong way though.
  • Lixie
    edited July 2009
    Deal breakers....

    - Rapists.
    - Axe murderers.
    - Smokers.
    - Alcoholics.
    - Addicts of any sort (drugs, video games, television, fashion, etc etc)... having a healthy hobby is best.
    - Illiterate.
    - Ignorant.
    - Dishonest.
    - Violent.
    - Dependent.
    - Long hair.
    - Feminine.
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited July 2009
    Funny there was an article about deal breakers on 24hrs today.
  • Juicy
    edited August 2009
    he MUST be taller than me, smart, "not ugly" and ambitious....

    i think these are reasonable =)
  • ikkaku
    edited August 2009
    "not ugly" is fairly subjective
  • Juicy
    edited August 2009
    well... a lot of the things listed in this thread is pretty subjective...
    i mean... what determines someone being "smart" or "good looking"... lol

    i guess... "not ugly" to the eye of the one determining whether the deal will be broken or not loL
  • ikkaku
    edited August 2009
    I'm just playin :P
  • DaNoobie
    edited August 2009
    wow Nicole, sounds a lot like this guy of yours is going after a trophy wife. Also does it not bother you he put slim up there at all?

    And for me, smoking
  • nicole
    edited August 2009
    Juicy;59301 said:
    well... a lot of the things listed in this thread is pretty subjective...
    i mean... what determines someone being "smart" or "good looking"... lol

    i guess... "not ugly" to the eye of the one determining whether the deal will be broken or not loL
    That's the wonderful thing about dealbreakers -- they're pretty specific to the person!
    DaNoobie;59311 said:
    wow Nicole, sounds a lot like this guy of yours is going after a trophy wife. Also does it not bother you he put slim up there at all?

    And for me, smoking
    It doesn't really bother me because it's all about attraction. If a slimmer girl is something he's attracted to, fair enough.
  • Triangle
    edited August 2009
    For me its:

    - lack of goals, ambitions, reasoning, common sense & common courtesy
    - uneducated
    - folks who don't know whats going on in the world (i.e. never watch the news or read the paper)
    - regular use of HARD drugs (*pot is ok sometimes, hell I smoke it once in a while)
    - heavy drinkers and smokers
    - racial profiling/stereotyping

    * Pot is not a hard drug and there is no physical dependency for it. There have been no reported deaths from the use of it. It is used for medical purposes as well.
  • DaNoobie
    edited August 2009
    btw I'm a bit surprised no one put down religion yet
  • Triangle
    edited August 2009
    DaNoobie;59343 said:
    btw I'm a bit surprised no one put down religion yet
    I thought about putting down religion but I try to respect every religion, even if some have outright ridiculous beliefs. As long as they don't push it onto me or to others thats fine.
  • randomuser
    edited August 2009
    Triangle;59344 said:
    I thought about putting down religion but I try to respect every religion, even if some have outright ridiculous beliefs. As long as they don't push it onto me or to others thats fine.
    Well in a relationship it becomes a pretty big deal when youre always with the person, if your beliefs are not concordant it doesnt look good for the relationship.
  • Triangle
    edited August 2009
    randomuser;59349 said:
    Well in a relationship it becomes a pretty big deal when youre always with the person, if your beliefs are not concordant it doesnt look good for the relationship.
    Hm, I should have put more thought into it. I guess I was thinking from a different point of view.
  • hikin
    edited August 2009
    ^ i hope you dont end up with a scientologist :D

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