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Something I Can't Quite Figure Out
Recently I got back in touch with an ex of mine, basically to find out what the hell had happened to him once we said we'd stay friends. It was like he dropped off the face of the earth--and at the time, I hadn't pursued the matter, thinking he needed some time.
He's now deployed in Afghanistan, with one month left to go until he gets home. And every since we started speaking again, he's been back on msn a lot more often. I suppose he's bored over there.
But now I'm wishing I never contacted him at all.
We had exchanged accounts of what we've both been up to since the last time we talked, including how we were doing relationship wise. I told him about my boyfriend now, and he chatted a bit about the woman he is seeing now.
And that was just the beginning.
Every time I am at my computer now, I find messages from him and even emails sent while I'm away. It's as if he tells me literally every thought process that he goes through in an entire day. This is what he did back when we were together.
The stranger thing is that every thought process he has always relates to his girlfriend now. I don't mind chatting with a friend about their relationship--but how he broke her bed by fucking is something I didn't need to know.
As well as all the places she has pierced.
I don't know this woman--I might in the future, depending on my friendship with the guy. But I don't need to know her deepest and darkest secrets (which he has relayed to me) when I haven't even met the person. I'm sure if she knew the level at which he's exposed her, she would not be very comfortable with it.
Then there is also that undertone of bragging that I can just slightly discern. He was talking about buying her 1500 thread count sheets and how that was going to cost him 1,000, etc. etc. In total I think he had said he was spending $4000 on here once he gets home. It's as if he's telling me subtly, "look what you missed out on."
There were many reasons I left him for, but I had always still admired him as a person. I always thought of him as the most mature man I have ever met or talked to, and I generally enjoyed his conversation, even when I no longer had romantic feelings for him. The way he has been behaving for the past weeks has changed any admiration I might have had of him.
Maybe I'm less naive now, or maybe I've simply out grown him. I used to look up to his advice, but now I simply find them to be over-stepping.
So seriously, am I being paranoid, or can he be acting out of some kind of spite?
He's now deployed in Afghanistan, with one month left to go until he gets home. And every since we started speaking again, he's been back on msn a lot more often. I suppose he's bored over there.
But now I'm wishing I never contacted him at all.
We had exchanged accounts of what we've both been up to since the last time we talked, including how we were doing relationship wise. I told him about my boyfriend now, and he chatted a bit about the woman he is seeing now.
And that was just the beginning.
Every time I am at my computer now, I find messages from him and even emails sent while I'm away. It's as if he tells me literally every thought process that he goes through in an entire day. This is what he did back when we were together.
The stranger thing is that every thought process he has always relates to his girlfriend now. I don't mind chatting with a friend about their relationship--but how he broke her bed by fucking is something I didn't need to know.
As well as all the places she has pierced.
I don't know this woman--I might in the future, depending on my friendship with the guy. But I don't need to know her deepest and darkest secrets (which he has relayed to me) when I haven't even met the person. I'm sure if she knew the level at which he's exposed her, she would not be very comfortable with it.
Then there is also that undertone of bragging that I can just slightly discern. He was talking about buying her 1500 thread count sheets and how that was going to cost him 1,000, etc. etc. In total I think he had said he was spending $4000 on here once he gets home. It's as if he's telling me subtly, "look what you missed out on."
There were many reasons I left him for, but I had always still admired him as a person. I always thought of him as the most mature man I have ever met or talked to, and I generally enjoyed his conversation, even when I no longer had romantic feelings for him. The way he has been behaving for the past weeks has changed any admiration I might have had of him.
Maybe I'm less naive now, or maybe I've simply out grown him. I used to look up to his advice, but now I simply find them to be over-stepping.
So seriously, am I being paranoid, or can he be acting out of some kind of spite?
Comments
im not sure talking to him about it is worth it, but you might want to if you want to remain friends with him and not feel so awkward about it.
Also, when he gets home and resumes his relationship all this might die down naturally and you might not have to do a thing.
or hes just reaaaalllyy bored in Afghanistan?
He's probably trying to just rub it in your face, although, I don't think you're missing out at all.
Meanwhile you can find yourself a more self-reliant guy who is also respectful of your furniture.
I say lube up, this is going to be legendary.
there are so many friekn people in the world i don't understand why some ppl want to stay in touch with their exs when most of the time nothing good comes out of it
Staying in touch with exes is something different for everyone, I suppose. I'm selective about who I let in my vagina, and so when there are cool enough people I like, I would like to at least be able to be their friend afterwards.
But all in all, people change.
And yah, definitely owned.
Didn't I make an anal thread way long ago about how butt sex is for fags only?
i've always thought people don't change unless they feel they've hit their low point
I decided to tell him exactly what was wrong with us and what he should have changed. Even though he was mature, that maturity and life experience made him aloof. I think he's changed since then--now he actually listens to love songs and OPENLY TALKS about them.
sounds like he should read:
http://zenhabits.net/2008/05/a-letter-to-my-son-on-starting-out-in-life/