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Does this seem like a legitimate reason for a break-up?
The Love Thread is rockin' again!
My bf was talking about his best friend who has been seeing this girl for about a year. He just met her parents (they live out of the city and rarely visit Vancouver). To put it lightly, her mom is apparently huge-o and not the most attractive of ladies. My bf's friend was so shocked that he came to my bf to rant about it. He told him, "well, I know this won't be going long-term now".
I was borderline horrified! But then I thought about it, and he does have a point. He claims that genetics are strong and she could turn out like her mom -- he wouldn't want to be with her in 10 years, in that case. My boyfriend agreed.
If you were seeing someone and met their parents, who were perhaps hugeomongous, would that affect your relationship with them if you thought that's what he/she would look like in 10-20 years? Keep in mind these guys are 26-27, so it's not some teenagers speaking.
My bf was talking about his best friend who has been seeing this girl for about a year. He just met her parents (they live out of the city and rarely visit Vancouver). To put it lightly, her mom is apparently huge-o and not the most attractive of ladies. My bf's friend was so shocked that he came to my bf to rant about it. He told him, "well, I know this won't be going long-term now".
I was borderline horrified! But then I thought about it, and he does have a point. He claims that genetics are strong and she could turn out like her mom -- he wouldn't want to be with her in 10 years, in that case. My boyfriend agreed.
If you were seeing someone and met their parents, who were perhaps hugeomongous, would that affect your relationship with them if you thought that's what he/she would look like in 10-20 years? Keep in mind these guys are 26-27, so it's not some teenagers speaking.
Comments
It's "okay" to do so when it's a casual relationship, but I think it would be very cruel to ditch long term relationships for the same reason. My boyfriend's dad is very hairy, and is balding. And it looks like my boyfriend is going very much the same way. As much as it may be that his genes are his genes, the way he's going to look in a few years or thirty years won't affect how much I care about him, or how we will interact. The funny thing is that he talks about it all the time, and is amazed that it doesn't bother me.
This question of "would you" or "would you not" most likely relies on the level of commitment that a person is in. Most people do and will find funny reasons to get out of a casual relationship that they see no future in, and most people will also stick around when they actually find someone they feel is worth sticking to.
i think its agreed upon that fat = genetics + environment, just b/c u have a disposition to being fat doesnt necessarily mean u will be, u are what u eat in most cases
personally i dont think its a dealbreaker
unless the girl is alrdy well on her way, then i mean u cant go ffwd 10 years down the road and say u didnt see it coming
P.S. This totally reminded me of the movie "Heartbreak Kid" when Ben Stiller meets his gf's wife who is also verrry huge LOL
But interesting responses.
there's nothing really legitimate or illegitimate about the reason for the break up.. if that person finds the reason compelling and has the justification for it.. the break up is gonna happen regardless of what others think.. now from a third person's POV.. we may not see the reason mentioned to be a sufficient justification.. i personally don't think it's a sufficient one either since relationships especially at the age of 26-27 aren't just about looks.. they're probably trying to go for something that lasts..
while genetics are important.. environment also plays its role.. as imelting mentioned having a disposition towards being fat does not mean you'll become FAT (if this is true i should start crying myself to sleep from now and 30 yrs down the road).. ultimately.. if it comes down to compatibility (and all the goodness of the relationship) vs the "chance" of the girl becoming fat.. that just seems like a really ridiculous way to phrase the problem.. i mean.. if she's the right girl in all aspects and he dumps her on the basis of the possibility in becoming a replica of her mother.. is he confident that he'll find someone just as compatible as her? i just think it's pretty obvious who the winner is..
my hunch is that this isn't even the reason why he's considering dumping her.. sounds more like a leeway for him to find the justifications for the break up.. if it does happen..
Bad eating habits are definitely only environmental, something like baldness or heart disease on the other hand...
By the way, if what he said about genetic is true, then I really wonder what his father looks like right now? No offense... You should meet my high school acting classmate and his family... Or liver diseases. My family has a history of liver problems. This is one of the reasons why I don't drink.
:zip:
I said both because the last time I saw him, he was napping in his family van in front of a Pizza Hut while his mom is buying pizza inside. Having an unhealthy diet is not going to help...
These studies should not be taken with high value, its a common sense understanding how human bodies gain and lose weight.
Or am I missing some scientific breakthrough? I'm just curious cause I don't understand how anyone can gain substantial amounts of weight any other way.
And it can also lead to a variety of problems for the human body, obesity.
Heart problems, lung problems. Weakened lower body, spinal compression.
Obesity is the cause of many of these, and an obese person generally has a shorter life span.
Not to mention that obesity can also lead to higher levels of promiscuity, as obese persons usually have lower self-esteem and being overly sexually active is one of the "outs" they seek to raise their self-esteem. This leads to a wider possibility of STD.
It's a hippy ideal that obesity is not a problem. It is. It's a problem for the ones who are obese as it shortens their life span and puts them at health's risk. It's a problem for the rest of us that we have to look at them.