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Planning Gatherings...

Guest1
edited March 2009 in General
Does anyone get annoyed at planning gatherings and stuff? I'm planning two birthday parties for myself (one for university friends, one for high school friends) and I feel like "why do I even bother?!"

I contacted my friends about 2 weeks in advance and tell them to mark down the date and they start dropping out one by one! I guess you know who your real friends are, huh? Half of them don't even reply to my e-mails. (I e-mailed my high school friends since it's a bigger group and called my university friends)

I kind of used my birthday as an excuse, too, since the real reason I want to get together is because I haven't seen some of my high school friends in months (some since high school! Which was last year...) and because of midterms I haven't seen friends around SFU.

I'm the type who sticks to my promises. If I promised to meet up with someone I go even if something comes up and I'd rather do that.

I've always, always, always had bad birthdays. It's a curse, it really is. I have endless bad-birthday related stories. I even have two or three which wasn't my birthday but was a bad experience.

Since my birthday is always going to fall during midterms from now on I think I'll make it as an excuse to never have a birthday party again. Not that anyone will care.
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Comments

  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    I am in a similar situation as you. My birthday is in mid November, which is right in term paper time. Even if I want to celebrate and have some fun that day, I will be too busy with papers to even conceive of any plans for my birthday, haha.

    But then again, I am not too big on celebrating my own birthday.
    summerheaven;50642 said:
    Since my birthday is always going to fall during midterms from now on I think I'll make it as an excuse to never have a birthday party again. Not that anyone will care.
    Oh, don't say that, cheer up. :)
  • randomuser
    edited March 2009
    Dont call it a birthday party for one, just have it be a get together. If it's a birthday people feel obligated, or think it'll only be your close friends.

    Having planned many events you can naturally expect a lot of people dropping off slowly which is why you over-invite
  • siuying
    edited March 2009
    midterms and exams aren't going to plague you for the rest of your life.. nor are friends who don't care enough to show up for a friend's birthday.. don't let a couple of bad experiences ruin you from hosting them because they come on a yearly basis for as long as you live..

    past experiences with hosting events like these (or any events for that matter) have taught me not to care so much if people are going to show up.. if they do... goody for me.. if they don't.. then i'll have just as a good time with the people who show up..

    cheer up dearie..=)
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    siuying;50700 said:
    if they don't.. then i'll have just as a good time with the people who show up..

    cheer up dearie..=)
    Totally agree! If people don't show up, it is their lost. Besides, I would much rather hang out with a small group of "real" friends who are dedicated and would go above and beyond to be with you than a large group of "friends" who want to bolt at any given opportunity.
  • shadesofgrey
    edited March 2009
    I haven't had a birthday party since the 6th grade. lol. but that's just me and my now nonexistent interest in my own bday.

    I don't understand people having to plan their own bday parties either. I think friends or family should do it, cause i mean, planning things can be pretty stressful (and upsetting in your situation, when people are unenthusiastic about it), and that way the bday person doesn't have to worry about all the hecticness that comes with hosting and can just enjoy themselves.

    As for the people who are reluctant to show up, sucks to their asmar. I don't believe in investing time in people who won't pull their end of the weight. Have a good time with the people who truly care about you.
  • Student0667
    edited March 2009
    Personally, I do not take offense or get upset with people who declined an invitation to events I planned. After all, I believe in individual liberty and it is after all their life.

    However, what annoys me the most are people who bail at the very last minute without any explaination or no-showed the event or gathering without any notice! I can't stand those people and usually cross them from the "invites to future events" list forever.
  • lazyGUY
    edited March 2009
    Am i invited? and student?
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    siuying;50700 said:
    midterms and exams aren't going to plague you for the rest of your life.. nor are friends who don't care enough to show up for a friend's birthday.. don't let a couple of bad experiences ruin you from hosting them because they come on a yearly basis for as long as you live..

    past experiences with hosting events like these (or any events for that matter) have taught me not to care so much if people are going to show up.. if they do... goody for me.. if they don't.. then i'll have just as a good time with the people who show up..

    cheer up dearie..=)
    Yeah but for some reason I always have bad birthdays. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something here...

    One of the friends I invited made this huge deal about turning down a bunch of crap for my party. But then he cancels last minute due to "family problems". Uh huh, yeah. And his current new facebook profile picture is him at a party he went to on the day of MY birthday party. Shows who your real friends are, eh? Then again, I already knew he wasn't much of a friend.
  • lazyGUY
    edited March 2009
    so it already happened and we went invited :(
  • buflibufli
    edited March 2009
    ^ thats a sign u need better friends... if u have a hard time getting them to come i suggest dropping them ...

    is that harsh? maybe...
  • lazyGUY
    edited March 2009
    forget about high school friends, time to make new ones here
    i talk to about 3 ppl from high school on a regular basis, haven't seen the rest for a while and dont really care to see them
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    bufli;50724 said:
    ^ thats a sign u need better friends... if u have a hard time getting them to come i suggest dropping them ...

    is that harsh? maybe...
    The guy's kind of an egotistical loser. Didn't realize until recently. I want to drop him, but he's my club so yeah =_= But everything I've invited him to he always drops out last minute so I'm just not going to invite him anymore and see him at club events, I guess.
    lazyGUY;50725 said:
    forget about high school friends, time to make new ones here
    i talk to about 3 ppl from high school on a regular basis, haven't seen the rest for a while and dont really care to see them
    Actually everyone I hang out now I met in university. I thought I would want to catch up with my HS friends so I used my birthday as an excuse. I was never really close with anyone in my life so I guess friends just come and go. Don't know why i even bother with trying to keep connected with them =T
  • buflibufli
    edited March 2009
    "Friendship is not an unshakable bond at all. It’s like, a gigantic sand dune seemingly huge and permanent, but one day u get up and it’s gone."
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;50721 said:
    One of the friends I invited made this huge deal about turning down a bunch of crap for my party. But then he cancels last minute due to "family problems". Uh huh, yeah. And his current new facebook profile picture is him at a party he went to on the day of MY birthday party. Shows who your real friends are, eh? Then again, I already knew he wasn't much of a friend.
    Okay, REALLY DROPPING this dirtbag. I don't swear often, but this jerk has a serious fucking problem. Seriously, he should see a fucking psychologist. He needs to be properly evaluated before he is allowed in society.

    Jeeze, I should really pick better friends.
  • siuying
    edited March 2009
    *nods* yes you do..
  • Magnificent_BastardMagnificent_Bastard
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;50886 said:
    Okay, REALLY DROPPING this dirtbag. I don't swear often, but this jerk has a serious fucking problem. Seriously, he should see a fucking psychologist. He needs to be properly evaluated before he is allowed in society.

    Jeeze, I should really pick better friends.
    I nominate Student0667.
  • hikin
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;50886 said:
    Okay, REALLY DROPPING this dirtbag. I don't swear often, but this jerk has a serious fucking problem. Seriously, he should see a fucking psychologist. He needs to be properly evaluated before he is allowed in society.

    Jeeze, I should really pick better friends.
    i nominate myself :D
  • buflibufli
    edited March 2009
    ya ur too ezy on ppl lol
    then again im on the other end of the spectrum, if anyone tries to step on my toes i chew them up ahah then again i my friends know not to fuck around cuz they will be replaced
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    my vote goes to student

    so far we have two candidates who want to be summerheaven's friends:

    1. student0667 (2votes)
    2. hikin (1vote)

    polls close soon
  • hikin
    edited March 2009
    how did student get two votes? unless u voted for him op.
  • imelting
    edited March 2009
    student0667 +1

    this will be a landslide
  • Agentbob
    edited March 2009
    There was a really interesting article on "collecting friends" on the Peak last week. Can anyone relate?

    I don't use Facebook so you'll never see me having 400+ friends and only talking to 1% of them. Perhaps you're in the same situation summerheaven. Not to sound harsh or anything. I have friends on my cellphone that I don't ever intend on talking to/hanging out with. Perhaps that's how they see you; just another contact on their list.

    I mean, you even said it yourself. You don't consider that "guy" to be much of a friend anyways.
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    hikin;50899 said:
    how did student get two votes? unless u voted for him op.
    lol i did.
    online predator;50898 said:
    my vote goes to student

    so far we have....
    but now student has 3 votes, another one from imelting. lol u gotta pick it up hiking
  • flo-ra
    edited March 2009
    summerheaven;50642 said:
    Does anyone get annoyed at planning gatherings and stuff? I'm planning two birthday parties for myself (one for university friends, one for high school friends) and I feel like "why do I even bother?!"

    I contacted my friends about 2 weeks in advance and tell them to mark down the date and they start dropping out one by one! I guess you know who your real friends are, huh? Half of them don't even reply to my e-mails. (I e-mailed my high school friends since it's a bigger group and called my university friends)

    I kind of used my birthday as an excuse, too, since the real reason I want to get together is because I haven't seen some of my high school friends in months (some since high school! Which was last year...) and because of midterms I haven't seen friends around SFU.

    I'm the type who sticks to my promises. If I promised to meet up with someone I go even if something comes up and I'd rather do that.

    I've always, always, always had bad birthdays. It's a curse, it really is. I have endless bad-birthday related stories. I even have two or three which wasn't my birthday but was a bad experience.

    Since my birthday is always going to fall during midterms from now on I think I'll make it as an excuse to never have a birthday party again. Not that anyone will care.
    I know exactly how you feel. Everytime I plan a gathering, it's never enjoyable for me because some people don't seem to give a damn that you've put in the time to pick a date and time, get everyone together, etc. I mean it's not like I'm not super busy like they are. My last two birthdays have been shitty and I ended up crying after both... like you, I throw birthday parties not really to celebrate my birthday and get presents, but as an excuse to hang out with friends.

    I'm thinking of just doing nothing this year =) I'd probably end up a lot happier.
  • siuying
    edited March 2009
    online predator;50898 said:
    my vote goes to student

    so far we have two candidates who want to be summerheaven's friends:

    1. student0667 (2votes)
    2. hikin (1vote)

    polls close soon
    i suggest making this a real poll.. and whoever else wants to join in on the race should name their names now..

    alright.. so it looks like we need to unite and throw flora and summerheaven an awesome birthday party (talksfu style) :tongue:
  • imelting
    edited March 2009
    i cry on my birthdays too, but only b/c im getting old *sniff
  • online predatoronline predator
    edited March 2009
    flo-ra;50906 said:
    ...I'm thinking of just doing nothing this year =) I'd probably end up a lot happier.
    i know how it feels.

    i actually just set up a facebook event couple of days ago for my upcoming bday at fabric. so far so good but as i was creating the event i realized, what if none of these ppl i'm inviting ever come for my bday. obviously that's gonna suck big time. but fortunately for me i've already got a bunch of ppl i know are coming so i don't really care if ppl from facebook come or not
  • Magnificent_BastardMagnificent_Bastard
    edited March 2009
    This is exactly how I feel when I plan a meet up, and half the people drop out the day before =(
  • JayDub
    edited March 2009
    I don't have any facebook friends :(
  • Guest1
    edited March 2009
    Agentbob;50902 said:
    There was a really interesting article on "collecting friends" on the Peak last week. Can anyone relate?

    I don't use Facebook so you'll never see me having 400+ friends and only talking to 1% of them. Perhaps you're in the same situation summerheaven. Not to sound harsh or anything. I have friends on my cellphone that I don't ever intend on talking to/hanging out with. Perhaps that's how they see you; just another contact on their list.

    I mean, you even said it yourself. You don't consider that "guy" to be much of a friend anyways.

    I'm very paranoid so I just don't add anyone to facebook. I add some people and put them on my limited profile because I don't want to be a jerk and not add them but then again I don't really want them to be filing through pictures and stuff. The amount of friends I have are relatively small. I also keep some names on my phone just in case i ever need to call them for whatever reason.

    The few friends I selected I thought they would care enough to come but I guess they don't feel it's as important to catch up in real life anymore ='(

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