To take part in discussions on talkSFU, please apply for membership (SFU email id required).
can a girl tell a guy that she likes him?
Like the title says, should a girl tell a guy (they have only known each other for about 6 months) that she likes him even though she isn't sure whether he likes her or not? Also, if he says no, can they still be friends? Would the guy think the girl is too straight forward and so the guy might be scared away?
Comments
it sounds like he doesnt if you don't know, and if you tell him he may think you are needy, and things won't work out
instead of making the situation uncomfortable like that, turn up the physical contact as a way of finding out
besides, if he doesnt like you, then what do you have to lose?
If you know him for that long, you should be able to tell.
If you're not sure he likes you back, it could make the situation a bit awkward.
But yea, try getting a little closer to see how he responds to you
As furia said, don't take advice from this guy.
Whether you know it or not, sex is a part of relationships, if a guy wants to have sex with a girl, or be initmate, or enjoy physical contact-- chances are he may want more than that as well.
The only mistake you can make is having sex too soon.
just ask him out on a date and its done
or ask him to go to the mall with you, if he likes you he'll go
..most guys hate shopping so hes gotta like you if he goes
You only chuck them when you don't like them.
Telling someone straight up isn't always the greatest approach, it'll feel too unnatural unless you're both super shy. Thats why you do a little flirting, a little playful touching, and see where it goes.
personally, i like to get to the point.
... sometimes girls could be such a bunch of insensitive jerks.
It may be my ignorance of the Unspoken Relationship Code but these people almost never say exactly what they want, OP included. I would think that before becoming involved with someone else you might want to give some thought as to precisely what you want that involvement to entail. Whatever the case, I would favor being forthright over secret litmus tests and attempted subliminal messaging. If you ask him out or whatever and he declines for whatever reason, if you don't freak out he probably won't either. And as long as he's aware of your feelings he'll be prepared to act if he changes his mind.
So it goes like this, girls think in a way that is way too analytical and guys think in a simple way.
How do I come to this? I shall explain.
Girls like to think they are sending out obvious signals to guys apparently showing they are interested in him. Guys have no clue what these "signals" are so they have no clue if she likes him or not. Girls who are also not interested tend to not want to obviously say it, again they think they are sending out obvious signals showing they are not interested, again guys cannot tell they are sending out "signals." So the summary of that paragraph is: guys cannot tell if a girl is interested in him or not because she is not being direct.
I came home the other night, my two female roomates were complaining to each other that guys are "so complicated!" I asked what happened and they told me that the one went out to coffee with a guy and apparently after he had said, "call me when you are not busy." So these girls spent the last few hours trying to decypher what he could have possibly meant by this comment. I quickly said, "what he means if that he is interested in you and would like for you to phone him when you are not busy."
The did not believe me, but let me tell you girls something, guys really are that simple and that is how they think, so stop over analyzing everything.
thats totally code for lets casually fuck
you deciphered it wrong. it means lets casually fuck and bring your sister with you when she's not busy too.
for example if i go out with a girl and she spends most of the time bitching about other shit she has to do then have an actual conversation OR shes constantly on the phone txting or something then ya.. this line means a whole new thing :P
Being upfront definitely takes the most courage; you're putting yourself out there to be rejected and it definitely isn't fun to be rejected. Some men, including myself, prefer simple upfront communication. You can make your intentions clear from the start and there won't be any misunderstandings. If he is truly your friend and cares about you he won't see this as an opportunity to use you for sex.
It really all comes down the individual guy and how well you know him.
Girls: Grab his schlong.
If you like him and you think he's a nice guy then you should tell him that so that you can hear how he feels. He could feel the same way about you and be experiencing the same sort of hesitation. Or, he may be interested in someone other than you which is ok too. The point is that it's better to know the truth sooner rather than later so that you can handle your relationship with him accordingly, rather than be lead on and get hurt...especially if the friendship is important to you.
If a girl asks:
a) If he doesn't like her, he might go around saying shes needy, and won't return her calls, etc. This is clearly a great result for someones feelings and reputation.
b) He's fine with it, and maybe something happens of it.
Looking at damage control, it's just easier to use physical testing to see if there is interest. It's never failed for me ever.
ya but see physical testing has its downside... if it works then the girl could think the guy likes her, but it could be that hes only playn along for that one occasion... and he could go around saying shes easy which again has negative effects on the girls part...
in the end i dont think there is a way that is better then another, it depends on both people and the circumstance their in..
which i take it would be more like hugging and random interactions with the guy
Putting your hand on someones leg, hugging, massages, etc. You can be very playful without going too far, and guys generally won't be physically playful, or return it back if they are not attracted to, or dislike the girl.
All I'm saying is, touching someone won't ruin the relationships if he doesnt return the feelings, its a method of least possible harm, you can still do the straight up thing, but I'd reccommend to anyone the method of least harm first if you don't want to make things awkward.
On a more serious note... I dont see a problem with it. But like RU said... a lot of girls turn to physically testing their targets, and some guys do it too. Im a guy and I do it as well sometimes. However, when your testing by being physically playful, sometimes you can turn boarderline non-interest into interest as well, so be careful what you wish for!!
*shrug*