To take part in discussions on talkSFU, please apply for membership (SFU email id required).

balance

IVTIVT
edited August 2008 in General
ok so i'm having this problem, here's the gist of it:

i met a girl and we like each other and we like being together etc...so that part of it is good. But here is the conflict in my head: how do i prioritize/divide my time so that nobody feels like i'm ditching them for the others (girl/my mom/my friends/my hobbies)

Now, each one of those people/groups has told me that they won't be offended by how i divide my time. But i don't believe them. Not at all. Yes i know i can't make everyone happy, but damnit i'm going to try.

Tips/advice welcomed.

Comments

  • edited August 2008
    Now, each one of those people/groups has told me that they won't be offended by how i divide my time. But i don't believe them. Not at all.
    Why?
  • edited August 2008
    your hobbies talk to you?
    what kind of mushrooms are we talking about here

    and in all seriousness, I dont know. Try caffeine pills? or cut down on studying? Just have to prioritize to what you feel is most important in your life and how big each of those 4 will have an effect on your life further down the road
  • edited August 2008
    You know, you can intermix a lot of those things.

    You can share your hobbies with your friends as well as girlfriend.

    You can have your girlfriend hang out with your friends.

    Etc. Etc.
  • edited August 2008
    IVT;35474 said:
    ok so i'm having this problem, here's the gist of it:

    i met a girl and we like each other and we like being together etc...so that part of it is good. But here is the conflict in my head: how do i prioritize/divide my time so that nobody feels like i'm ditching them for the others (girl/my mom/my friends/my hobbies)

    Tips/advice welcomed.
    Firstly, how much do you like this girl? Is she worth being the center of attention? If she is, then give her most of your time because you already know your family and friends well. They know that you need to give priority to new people of whom you've just met. Secondly, create a schedule to monitor activities every day. Don't make the schedule too far into the future but keep it flexible enough so that you can change as you prioritize your items.
  • edited August 2008
    Whatever you do, do not ignore your hobbies, they will get so pissed and probably take it out on the woman
  • edited August 2008
    ...your mom... you're worried about not spending enough time with your mom...and your hobbies...?

    if you're dating people its a regular thing your time is more devoted to them, there is no fair balance of time...but seriously your mom and your hobbies, you need to cut that down
  • edited August 2008
    LOL some people like their mothers....
  • edited August 2008
    pro tip: never tell your girlfriend you're blowing her off or cant hang out cause youre hanging out with your mom. I'ts even worse than blowing her off for WoW, that can wait until after marriage
  • edited August 2008
    .... I blow people off to hang out with my mom.


    GOD I'M A SOCIAL FAIL.
  • edited August 2008
    randomuser;35493 said:
    pro tip: never tell your girlfriend you're blowing her off or cant hang out cause youre hanging out with your mom. I'ts even worse than blowing her off for WoW, that can wait until after marriage
    WoW> women. WoW gets me hotter than seeing a naked chick.
  • edited August 2008
    Pro-tip: if the girl you're dating is not reasonable enough to understand that you have familial obligations, and she wants to monopolize your time because she's an insecure attention whore, then she's not worth dating in the first place.
  • edited August 2008
    ^truth
  • edited August 2008
    You guys don't understand the mother / son / girlfriend tension in long term relationships.

    Anyway, I stand by my point about relationships in regards to other commitments. The entire differentiation between a relationship and a friendship generally lays in the fact you spend more time with them, and do 'intimate' things with them.

    Theres a difference between monopolizing someones time and having some expectations when two people are committed.

    I understand his post to be asking about the balance, rather than the 100% committal, which is unhealthy, as you mention.
  • edited August 2008
    just dont get pussy-whipped (worst case scenario)
  • edited August 2008
    Dude, it's all about prioritizing. Obviously you're going to be spending a lot more with your girlfriend. Friends are probably next and then you'll spend time with your mom whenever you're at home. Atleast that's how I'd divide my time.
  • edited August 2008
    Lixie;35480 said:
    You know, you can intermix a lot of those things.

    You can share your hobbies with your friends as well as girlfriend.

    You can have your girlfriend hang out with your friends.

    Etc. Etc.
    Or you could date your mom.
  • edited August 2008
    Magnificent_Bastard;35536 said:
    Or you could date your mom.
    Lets wait for triple to comment on how that works
  • edited August 2008
    lol.jpg
  • edited August 2008
    It's how important do you think this relationship will be to you.

Leave a Comment