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What to do when you feel stuck..???

edited August 2008 in General
Situation:
I've been seeing someone for two months. Amazing guy, great job, determined, and we seem to have the same future goals. As far as the love life goes, it's been very, very bland (as in reeeeeally taking it slow, never discussed). I haven't brought it up, but it seems like he's probably never had sex before (yikes) and I don't really know about past relationships (if any, double yikes).
But he's cute and, like I said, a really great person...just a workaholic and gone alot.
There's really no reason why I should even be thinking about ending things, but I just feel so incredibly stuck. I've never been treated so well in a relationship, but I just can't stand this lack of development (sexual and otherwise).

Question:
What do???
«1

Comments

  • IVTIVT
    edited August 2008
    nicole;35189 said:
    he's probably never had sex before (yikes)
    if you judge him based on this, you would make a terrible girlfriend, IMO
  • edited August 2008
    nicole;35189 said:
    I haven't brought it up, but it seems like he's probably never had sex before (yikes) and I don't really know about past relationships (if any, double yikes).
    Let me guess this straight, you find his supposed inexperience with relationships and sex a problem? Everybody had their first times.
    There's really no reason why I should even be thinking about ending things, but I just feel so incredibly stuck. I've never been treated so well in a relationship, but I just can't stand this lack of development (sexual and otherwise).
    Give this fine gentleman some time, and soon all your wish will be gratified.
  • edited August 2008
    Maybe hes so used to not having someone in his life and thats why his routine consists of so much work, maybe it could change.

    But if its boring already, I don't know how much more exciting it can really get. Although virgins normally change post-sex, mentally.
  • edited August 2008
    maybe you didn't read her post right.. she's judging this guy based on:

    1) being an amazing guy who has a great job but is a workaholic
    2) determined and has the same future goals as herself
    3) cute and treats her well
    4) the fact that she has no idea about his past relationships
    5) suspects that he's inexperienced
    6) lack of relationship development compounded with how slow he's taking things

    i don't how you were able to only read that and just only THAT then proceeds to conclude she's a terrible girlfriend..:confused:
  • edited August 2008
    siuying;35194 said:


    i don't how you were able to only read that and just only THAT then proceeds to conclude she's a terrible girlfriend..:confused:
    Virgins :angel:
  • edited August 2008
    did you just mock siuying?? how dare you

    But in all seriousness, did this guy take forever before finally asking you out? If you suspect this is his first real relationship (hence taking it slow understandably) then he probably has little to no idea how to pressure or bring up the whole sex bit, even if hes dying to well, get laid
    Try approaching him on the subject maybe?
  • edited August 2008
    randomuser;35195 said:
    Virgins :angel:
    that is the unfortunate truth you've pointed out random..
    or the lack thereof..=P

    and no danoobie dear.. her mockery is directed to another..:tongue:
    or atleast i hope it is..:embarassed:
  • edited August 2008
    If it's his first relationship and he's never had any experience it really isn't his fault that he hasn't 'picked up the place'... since you seem to be implying that you have more experience and you're the one who wants more, why don't you just bring it up??? I don't see why it's his fault any any way (not that I'm saying you're saying this is his fault...) but if you do suddenly break up with him, it'll be really unfair to him.
    From what you have described it seems like you're the one who should be doing something about it, not him, since he's unaware about it.
  • edited August 2008
    How directly have you talked about it, with him?

    And IVT, calm down. She said nothing even close to that.
  • edited August 2008
    Let me emphasize just how slow this development is...like reeeeeeeeeeeally really slow. It feels like a first date every time I see him, but maybe saying yikes after possibly being a virgin wasn't the best move. I'm focusing on a lack of relationship experience, let's say.

    I think randomuser had a good point and it puts things into perspective...like I said, he's gone a lot and maybe isn't used to focusing on time with someone.
    Morro;35203 said:
    How directly have you talked about it, with him?
    Nada, I'm probably at fault for not bringing it up...there's just never been any good conversation starter to mention it.

    We've covered all the future goal bases (marriage, kids, houses, etc) so as far as that goes I'm super happy, just bored. He's gone on a business trip for a week, maybe it would be a good opportunity to mention things when he comes back!
  • edited August 2008
    Well if things have been going really slow for a while, one of you guys have to take initiative and do something about it. From what your saying, it looks like you have to be this person.

    You also gotta look at things from his point of view. If this is his first relationship, it might be an exciting experience for him.
  • edited August 2008
    He's 25, this shouldn't be his first...hence the questioning.
  • edited August 2008
    eh i know guys who are 25 and older and are virgins/dateless..... I'm one of them!!!!!!!!
  • edited August 2008
    Your description of this guy sounds a lot better than the last two you shared with us. Therefore, I ask, if everything is well between you and this guy, then why are you raising such a fuss about his "supposed" lack of past relations?

    PS: Why do you always date guys much older than you?
  • edited August 2008
    PS: Why do you always date guys much older than you?
    Because she's a female?

    I say you have one of two options:
    1) Talk to him about it, and try to get him to speed things up a bit.
    2) Pull out a strap-on and start putting it on, wordlessly, and see if he resists.
  • edited August 2008
    I might be subconsciously hesitant that things are actually decent after a string of bad relationships.

    I'm attracted to older guys, and I've never really felt my age. 7 years isn't a huge age difference.
  • edited August 2008
    Morro;35234 said:
    Because she's a female?

    I say you have one of two options:
    1) Talk to him about it, and try to get him to speed things up a bit.
    2) Pull out a strap-on and start putting it on, wordlessly, and see if he resists.
    Hahahaha, I'd say it's worth a shot!!!
  • edited August 2008
    Morro;35234 said:
    Because she's a female?
    Well, I know that girls tend to go for guys older than them, but Nichole is (give or take) 19 and the guy is 25...
    2) Pull out a strap-on and start putting it on, wordlessly, and see if he resists.
    If I am thinking of what you are describing, I ask, "Why would he not resist?"
  • edited August 2008
    Student0667;35242 said:
    Well, I know that girls tend to go for guys older than them, but Nichole is (give or take) 19 and the guy is 25...



    If I am thinking of what you are describing, I ask, "Why would he NOT resist?"
    hahahaha are u serious??? im pretty sure any straight guy wud resist taking a strap-on to the ass
  • edited August 2008
    lazyGUY;35243 said:
    hahahaha are u serious??? im pretty sure any straight guy wud resist taking a strap-on to the ass
    Of course any guy will resist. Hence I ask the question, "why would the guy not resist?" when Nichole approach him with a strap on.
  • edited August 2008
    well you wrote "why would he not resist" so i thought otherwise
  • IVTIVT
    edited August 2008
    Student0667;35246 said:
    Of course any guy will resist. Hence I ask the question, "why would the guy not resist?" when Nichole approach him with a strap on.
    epic, epic fail.
  • edited August 2008
    Student0667;35242 said:
    Well, I know that girls tend to go for guys older than them, but Nichole is (give or take) 19 and the guy is 25...

    Here's a shocker for you, his parents are 17 years apart and still going strong!
  • edited August 2008
    Yeah, but 30 and 13 was wierd, until they both got a little older.
  • edited August 2008
    Married at 23/40, now that's a little iffy!
  • edited August 2008
    Morro;35255 said:
    Yeah, but 30 and 13 was wierd, until they both got a little older.
    haha
  • edited August 2008
    nicole;35211 said:
    He's gone on a business trip for a week, maybe it would be a good opportunity to mention things when he comes back!
    maybe he's getting his action over that 1 week trip.
  • edited August 2008
    he didn't go to Thailand did he?
  • edited August 2008
    u could always just give me a ring when you feel the urge to satisfy ur sexual needs

    problem solved
  • edited August 2008
    6chr0nic4;35274 said:
    u could always just give me a ring when you feel the urge to satisfy ur sexual needs

    problem solved
    awesome thanks

    whats ur number

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