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Lack of dating experience: tell or not to tell?
Would you tell a potential partner of your lack of experience in having past relations? How about explaining a lack of many friends?
This is something which I don't know how to answer.
For example, I could act like a really confident guy who has a lot going for him, but have no dating experience at all. If I told her of my lack of past relationships, she might be turned off.
This is something which I don't know how to answer.
For example, I could act like a really confident guy who has a lot going for him, but have no dating experience at all. If I told her of my lack of past relationships, she might be turned off.
Comments
+1
fully agree. it's something u shouldn't bring up
You bring it up. She's gonna think you're comparing her. Either way, she's THINKING about what you told her about your past relationship. Why bother?
I'm with Bufli on this too. Don't worry about it, it wont come up for a while. If you get there, it means she's comfortable with you enough to even ask. Maybe she hasnt really been going out much either.
But seriously now. IMO someone without many friends says something about a person. ESPECIALLY if you're NOT introverted. If you're shy I can understand. Otherwise......there's something wrong IMO.
I mean yea someone who is really outgoing generally has a lot of friends since they tend to be uber social but that does not make them “better” then someone who is more restrained and say has fewer, but really good friends. IMO saying there’s something wrong with them is a bit too judgemental esp over a medium like a forum where the persons character is not evident...
im probably over thinking this though =P
as to the OP
don't "act" confident
u either are or aren’t, that’s not something u can really fake for long without them catching on, think of the long run, if the foundation is a lie... well where do u expect the rest to go?
it could be fun, and cute--if he had confidence, if he shows a lack of confidence then its a giant turn off, but if youre lacking in the dating/sex department and youre still confident i think its fine, just dont blatantly tell her unless she asks and dont lie as morro said
All I'm saying is that IT IS something that is thought about when you tell something, "Well, I don't really hang out with ppl...or I just have this one friend."
It's one thing not to date because weren't about to get the ladies, and another thing not to date because you weren't interested and more focused on other things at that point in your life.
I think either way, if you hide the no friends thing, she'll obviously find out when she asks to meet your friends, or how nobody asks you to go out except her etc. I mean, it's hard to hide something that isn't there that should be a prominent part of your life.
form what you just described though it still seems like the fault lies within the person doing the judging and looking down on the other person u just met, in essence i think thats kidna the problem in general in our society with people jump to conclusions without even giving you a fighting chance
thats why people resort to bsing about themselves so much when they meet new people its like h-core self marketing
and i guess thats the point here to the OP, dont lie, but also avoid the truth that may lead to some bizarre and false assumptions about you ;)
with friends though.. personally i rather have a few close friends than a whole bunch of acquaintances.. and if someone wants to judge me base on something as shallow as the number of friends i have.. go ahead cause i don't really give a damn..
person X hangs out a lot of girls. does this make him more attractive (jealousy factor?)
YES or NO answer. no " depends ".
1) assume you ladies are all single
2) let boy X be your " target ", the one you're attracted to
3) let boy X hang out/socialize with many girls (knows more girls than guys)
4) assume you ladies are more attracted to a POPULAR guy
Q; is boy X popular? therefore more attractive?
rhetorical question.
I'm gonna ASSUME everybody here has been through high school. Of course the popular guy/girl is even MORE attractive cuz he/she is well liked. That goes without saying.
Let's put it the other way around. Say this person X is notoriously known to be a JERK. Nobody likes him.
Before knowing him, u thought he was kinda attractive. After knowing his personality a little. Does he become LESS attractive?
There you go. Case closed.
That'll keep her busy enough so that she'll never even think to ask.
@ooeygooey: thank you for pointing it out to be a rhetorical question.. i knew it sounded off but couldn't pinpoint it with a half dead brain @ 2am.. yes he does become less attractive because i think a lot of people are tolerant of a not so attractive guy/girl but not so much if the guy/girl has a horrible personality along with good looks..
i know it's unfair that looks don't cover the short comings of personality while personality can totally make someone look that much better.. which shows you how important it is to have a good heart.. =) but that's just my take on it..
I'm so getting calf implants and pec implants!!!!! :teeth:
Just because someone is popular doesn't make them attractive. I know from my experience, super popular people are usually overly outgoing and snooty so that is a really big turnoff, no matter how many girl are attracted to his looks.
and guys that know a lot of girls is a turn off, if youre trying to refer to that thing where if you ignore a girl she will like you more, that refers to when if something is too easy a girl wont want it
if a guy makes it too easy at first or is too nice, or too much of a push over its a turn off, first impressions mean a lot, let down the defences after a while but try and be mysterious at first, and intelligents, or something unattainable
for example, i wouldnt like the high school jock id like the bad boy with the leather jacket who skips school, the bad ass
confidence is a must, you dont need to be popular to be confident but it can help some people
back to the original post, a guy could be a virgin, if hes confident in who he is and its not something that hes worried about girls wouldnt care, i dont like when guys arent confident in who they are, theyre easy to take advantage of and its not like being with a socially defined role of a man
Really, the nice thing about being a guy is that you can work any angle. You can be the outgoing ladies man, the tortured artist, the lone wolf, the loverman, the nice-guy, the confident nerdy guy, the brooder, etc, etc, etc. I feel sorry for you women, you have less leeway in terms of (pardon the phrase,) selling yourself to the opposite sex. There are far fewer ways for a girl to be attractive, personality-wise.
granolla vegetarian chick
artsy chick
party girl
slut
bible girl
bad girl
dom girl
ditz
bitch
but some of these mesh together