i had a lot of cutters in my high school.. real and fake ones... the worse one i had seen was a close friend of mine.. and cutting didn't cover what she did.. she was mutilating herself.. and the scars looked like gashes.. and her arm was tattooed with it..
another friend of mine.. a very close friend actually.. started slashing herself without us knowing.. and the reason? she saw everyone doing it.. and that made me fly off the handle.. even when i was still going through issues myself.. so i took all her blades and made sure she had none on her at school.. funny thing was.. i always had them stored in my bag.. and there were days... when i was alone and down.. i would take one of them out and just look at them.. then a voice inside my head would tell me sink that blade in to see what it feels like..
then there were the posers.. who would give themselves little knicks and then show it to everyone so they would get the attention.. i rmb i got so fed up with one of guys who paraded his horizontal slits that i went up to him.. took his blade and told him that suicides do it vertically..
lol.. so i had this habit of collecting blades of all sorts.. looking back now.. it was pretty messed up.. and i was thankful for the change in environment and start fresh... otherwise i'm pretty sure i would've got into the craze and never get out of it..
but yes.. the experience does help you learn to accept yourself and be open about your problems.. at least i find myself more vocalized about the thoughts and feelings now than before.. and my friends are happy about that because they got to know me better..
^ I've heard a lot about people cutting themselves, but I've never actually known one =( That's some scary stuff man. I know I've had low times but I would never think of hurting myself. Maybe hurting someone ELSE but no me...
I remember this one time I was playing with my cat and he used to cling onto your forearm with his claws, I thought "hey i should let him cut me so I'll look strong because I can handle my cat scratching me" But it was painful enough when he didn't cause it too bleed and I didn't want the pain so I didn't do it, lol.
A friend of mine used to cut himself, his reason "I didn't do it to get attention, it just felt really good"
But I think some pain feels good too. Not too much of course, but a tiny bit that's enough to give you that shocking feeling (like a light pinch). I remember when I was young, I always put those plastic clothespins on my fingertips.
i've dealt with my fair share of shit and i remember at the time it felt like there would be no end to it. my way to cope was to take things as they came day by day. i would go into more detail but i'm too tired lol
i knew a few cutters and i realize their mentality is not much different than other self-destructive people, it's just their methods of self-destruction that vary. at least that's the way i see it *shrug* and i had someone tell me she cut because she is so emotionally detached from everything and cutting helps her to feel again...albeit the elicited feeling is physical, but i guess to her, at least it's something.
i'm quite self-destructive myself, but i'm glad cutting was never an option for me.
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another friend of mine.. a very close friend actually.. started slashing herself without us knowing.. and the reason? she saw everyone doing it.. and that made me fly off the handle.. even when i was still going through issues myself.. so i took all her blades and made sure she had none on her at school.. funny thing was.. i always had them stored in my bag.. and there were days... when i was alone and down.. i would take one of them out and just look at them.. then a voice inside my head would tell me sink that blade in to see what it feels like..
then there were the posers.. who would give themselves little knicks and then show it to everyone so they would get the attention.. i rmb i got so fed up with one of guys who paraded his horizontal slits that i went up to him.. took his blade and told him that suicides do it vertically..
lol.. so i had this habit of collecting blades of all sorts.. looking back now.. it was pretty messed up.. and i was thankful for the change in environment and start fresh... otherwise i'm pretty sure i would've got into the craze and never get out of it..
but yes.. the experience does help you learn to accept yourself and be open about your problems.. at least i find myself more vocalized about the thoughts and feelings now than before.. and my friends are happy about that because they got to know me better..
A friend of mine used to cut himself, his reason "I didn't do it to get attention, it just felt really good"
i knew a few cutters and i realize their mentality is not much different than other self-destructive people, it's just their methods of self-destruction that vary. at least that's the way i see it *shrug* and i had someone tell me she cut because she is so emotionally detached from everything and cutting helps her to feel again...albeit the elicited feeling is physical, but i guess to her, at least it's something.
i'm quite self-destructive myself, but i'm glad cutting was never an option for me.