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why is "dating" still the norm?

edited March 2008 in General
it seems like such a pointless, dated ritual.

in the 21st century, women are certainly as capable of providing for themselves as men are. so why do people, especially women, still seek emotional dedication from a man so fervently? historically, people HAD to pair up in order to survive. but today, marriages are almost frivolous. with today's resources, it's possible to survive as a complete recluse, therefore it's clearly possible to survive without an (*emotionally dependent*) partner.

and yet, in this new age, people still follow silly courtship laws like "dating". is it because we've been exposed to too many unrealistic hollywood romance movies from birth onward? is it because of the gender roles that they've drilled into us from day one? meh. it's such bs, and i'm sick of it.

people should take advantage of the resources that allow us freedom to live uncommitted, unfettered lifestyles--especially young people.

i mean, can anyone expain the BENEFITS of a relationship that consists of anything more than a mutual physical outlet, i.e. friends with benefits? honestly i don't see any.

Comments

  • edited March 2008
    its in our genes, live with it
  • edited March 2008
    Promiscuity and FWB. That sounds like a wonderful way to spread STDs. If that's what you want, fine. But why say everyone should live their life that way?

    First off, I think relationships can help give kids a more stable childhood (if you have parents that can actually work as a unit). Single parenthood or two separate homes can be extremely stressful.

    Second, why are you making it all about survival and gender roles? Yes, women can provide for themselves, do any job they want, etc. That doesn't mean they have to; it means they have the OPTION to do that. Some people enjoy being in relationships, some people enjoy being stay-at-home moms, and some people enjoy being completely independent. If being in a relationship makes someone happy, then why shouldn't they be in one?

    Personally, I don't like the idea of sex with random people, mostly because I'm a fairly private person and take a while to warm up to people. I also don't like the idea of living completely alone because I find that lonely and depressing (unfortunately, this may possibly be my future since I'm 19 and never have been on a date). I like the idea of relationships because I think it gives a level of comfort of with a person that you can't have with somebody that is just a friend.
  • edited March 2008
    Our reptillian brain tells us to f everything in sight, our newer brain features tell us to crave and enjoy emotional monogamy. These two things are in constant battle, especially in males, but in everyone really. If we look at that as a 50/50 relationship, which it isn't, but let's say it was, the social benefits to monogamy which range from healthier children to slower spread of disease, tip things in favor of the monogamous side of the scale.

    Right now, we have the best of both worlds. It's acceptable for young people to have many partners during their youth, but then we are expected to settle down into longterm monogamy as we get older. Seems like a decent compromise, to me.
  • edited March 2008
    I don't know what girls you date, but I know dating is a trial for marriage, for companionship, not just sex. People strive to have emotional satisfaction, and physical satisfaction without the emotion aspect is no satisfaction at all. It doesn't generate anything but more STDs and health concerns if the sex is all you want.
  • edited March 2008
    humans are social creatures.. we can't.. as much as some desire.. live in solitude... if you think about it.. it's pretty sad to die alone.. dating can lead to a lot of things besides the physical aspect of it.. sure you might be all lovey dovey when you're dating and during the first few years of your marriage... but as time goes by.. i think it just becomes a platonic type of relationship... the passion isn't going to be as strong as it was.. but the companionship will...

    atleast that's my take on it..
    i don't think i wanna die alone when i'm old..
  • edited March 2008
    most people die alone... unless its in a plane crash or something where others die with you... :p
  • edited March 2008
    I don't think she means die TOGETHER lol. Dying alone is different =P
  • IVTIVT
    edited March 2008
    There's all that and the fact that, at least in Ukraine, when you are old and useless your kids take care of you. Therefore there is motivation for marriage and having kids.
  • edited March 2008
    I was always under the impression that the purpose of dating is supposed to serve as a trial period in which a couple spent time together to see if they are compatiable. If they are compatiable, they will get married.

    That whole bit about people using love to justify getting togther for the sole purpose of sharing resources never crossed my mind.

    Maybe it is just me...
  • edited March 2008
    I like the Norwegian view on dating: sex first, date later.
  • edited March 2008
    its a lot easier to focus all your time on one person that is willing to do the same than coordinate with 5 less well known friends, in my opinion

    i like meeting and getting to know lots of people and testing the water, to see what i can get, dating is great
  • edited March 2008
    I see dating and a career as a good analogy...

    Most people will end up settling for a stable job/organization after finding out what they really want to do by trying others. Kinda like dating as a trial for a long term companionship (ie: marriage).
  • edited March 2008
    i think while sex is a great thing :)

    its also nice to be there for someone. someone you date, have a relationship with and you can call your own. perhaps someday, lead to marriage.

    while i am not saying that having seperated parents or living with a single parent makes you a bad person. i have to agree with the post above where it states that parents living together as a functioning family unit provides a better atmosphere to grow in rather then multiple houses or single parents.

    dating, to me, seems like a way for people to get to know someone more intimately before marriage rather then get married and find out that you dont like that person.

    in regards to the OP's comment about being able to sustain our lives alone or by fulfilling sexual desires with random people or friends with benefits, i agree that this is quite possible and am sure that there are many people out there who do so. however, i dont agree with the fact that courtship is a silly process. the benefit of a society where we can live with choices is that you have the choice to live a bachelor life or live a married one =)

    called me old fashioned or an idealist or one whose "been exposed to too many unrealistic hollywood romance movies from birth onward?" but i kinda like the idea of marriage.

    being a dad with a kid riding on my shoulder and a wife on my arm seems like a nice thought. although i realize there may be a downside to these things such as the lack of "freedom" and what not.

    to each his/her own i guess :D

    cheers
  • edited March 2008
    ^welcome to the forums

    well said, i totally agree
  • edited March 2008
    thanks for the welcome :D

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