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Moving Out
Ok, so I am 22 (turning 23 in the summer) and I still live at home, which is ok, but i feel like its about time for me to get the hell out. My parents are fine with me living at home, but i feel so stifled there and, honestly, like im 16 the way they treat me sometimes.
So my bf asked me to move in with him. Hes been asking this for a while saying that it would be fun and that he really wants me to live with him. Ive been brushing him off saying, "yah ok" and stuff like that, but last nite he asked again and i actually sat and thought about it.
He said that he would get a car for me and that he would pay the rent for the apartment.
I dunno tho, I dont feel right not paying any rent. I only work part-time (2 days a week) so im not making a whole lot of money, but i would still like to pay something. The money i am making is going towards a savings account for us to travel in about a year.
What do you guys think? Would you live with your bf or gf for free if they offered? I'm worried about doing it because then its definitely HIS place and not mine, and i wouldnt really like that.
Also, we've been dating for 11 months....i dont know if that really makes a difference at all, i dont think it does, but just thought id put that info out there. PLUS, ive never lived with a bf before, so this is all new to me....maybe thats why im overthinking the whole thing! :/
So my bf asked me to move in with him. Hes been asking this for a while saying that it would be fun and that he really wants me to live with him. Ive been brushing him off saying, "yah ok" and stuff like that, but last nite he asked again and i actually sat and thought about it.
He said that he would get a car for me and that he would pay the rent for the apartment.
I dunno tho, I dont feel right not paying any rent. I only work part-time (2 days a week) so im not making a whole lot of money, but i would still like to pay something. The money i am making is going towards a savings account for us to travel in about a year.
What do you guys think? Would you live with your bf or gf for free if they offered? I'm worried about doing it because then its definitely HIS place and not mine, and i wouldnt really like that.
Also, we've been dating for 11 months....i dont know if that really makes a difference at all, i dont think it does, but just thought id put that info out there. PLUS, ive never lived with a bf before, so this is all new to me....maybe thats why im overthinking the whole thing! :/
Comments
i cant comment on how it is to live with a SO for an extended period of time, but for the brief periods that i hav in the past, it certainly is much different than just staying over a night here or there
a lot of little things, eg mannerisms, how they deal with certain situations and things around the house, u just dont get to see when the 2 of u arent "living" together
it's not a bad idea to move in with your bf since you haven't tried it before.. so you'll know what it's like to live with your partner.. you're bound to face another similar situation in life anyway (things like marriage).. so you could really use this experience..
i.. like yourself.. wouldn't feel comfortable if my other partner is paying all the rent AND getting me a car.. personally that i would make me feel... useless.. =( and i don't like being useless.. but since you're only working two days and it is a part-time job.. it's going to be quite a burden for you to split the rent with him.. so if you do plan to move in with him.. i would suggest you taking up the responsibility of the groceries or just help around with the house chores even though you aren't contributing as much in the monetary share.. i'm sure he would appreciate that.. =)
good luck!
I've been with my BF for 1.2 years and I don't feel right if he even pays for food or other things, and I always try to pay him back.
If he doesn't mind paying rent, you should still chip in I say... then he can contribute the money he saved into the travel fund! That way, no money is really "lost" in a sense, just moved around differently.
Since your parents don't mind you at home, you could give your BF's place a test run. And if you don't like it, just move back home. That way you'll get a feeling if you're ready or not, and you still have a backup plan to fall back on just in case.
But of course, it would be different if I was a girl.
Toast: no, lol, we dont have a savings account together, but he did want to open one up....i said that we should just save on our own, and so far he hasnt saved anything! But we only just decided this like three weeks ago, lol.
Im just not sure....i love him and think it would be great to live with him, but he'd be paying for the rent and the car....as siuying said, i would feel kinda useless. Also, i dont want to get into the situation where we get into a fight or something and then hes all like, "well i pay the rent so i make the rules"....that would not be good.
We talked about it again last nite. He said that i could pitch in by paying small bills (like cable, internet, etc) and help pay for some food. So i would be paying for some stuff i suppose, which is good.
The only problem is, i have a feeling that my parents wont be happy with me moving out. They're extrememly protective (I'm talking more of my mom here) and i just think that she would be so mad at me if i did this. But ive spent my whole life trying to please her, and at this point, i want to do something that i want to do. Soooo, im not too sure that they would go for the "trial" option of living with my bf. So if i move out....i move out....no trial. I havent of course asked my parents this, but i just know....and i really dont want to bring it up to them until im 100% sure that im gonna do it.
Anyways, i think im just overanalyzing this (as i always do)....i tend to look at "what could go wrong" with decisions like this. But i do think it would be fun and something totally new and different for me....it might be really good for me.
I mean, i guess it depends on the people involved....i have a friend who moved in with her bf after 4 months....and now a year later they are engaged! And shes only 20 and they both make, like, no money. So, it just depends on the people i guess.
But im the type of person who would most likely march out and go to my parents house and he would regret it cuz i dont know if i'd ever want to go back. He knows this about me, so hopefully that never comes up.
Well, I think we might do it. But i wont move in for about 2 months or so....wait til the end of the semester cuz i dont want to move everything mid-semester with all my assignments due soon and everything. I still have to talk to him about finances cuz its really on my mind, but im sure i'll figure it out.
I do agree with the trial thing that everyone was talking about....maybe i could talk to my parents about it and see what they think....?? Not sure tho. Dont really know when to bring it up to them tho that im gonna move out....i dont want to just spring it on them last minute.
:/