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Why do we like who we like?

randomuser
edited February 2008 in General
I have a theory love is the recognition and ignorance of another's faults.

I notice personally some guys who I would find sleazy may or do some of the same things as guys who I like, but I find the behaviours annoying/gross/retarded in the guys I dont like, and funny or bad boyish in the guys I do like.

Beyond physical we do we end up liking who we do? Is it because we choose to? Or is it actually them

Comments

  • JayDub
    edited February 2008
    Lust.
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    I think it's because they remind you of yourself, but you don't actually notice it.
    For me, I like to be around my BF because it feels safe. I think that's the way to put it... like, nothing can hurt me or whatever. Well, it's not just that, but that's something different than with other guys I've liked before.

    I agree to a certain extent that it's in the recognition of their faults because for sure I wouldn't date like a guy who doesn't wash his hands coming out of the washroom or likes to mak on 50 girls in 1 night.
  • Broken Lizard
    edited February 2008
    i remember one time I got out of the shower and urinated and didn't wash my hands, girlfriend yelled at me. I just showered, its clean! Not like I got it all over my hands or anything!!!

    Anyways, I think it is more the connections than anything else.
  • randomuser
    edited February 2008
    I think its more subjective than everyones points though. You can have a bad impression of someone on first glance then never talk to them again, or later find out that infact they are desirable.

    Or if youve ever hyped someone up in your head and you just ignored all their faults which normally you would be turned away from.

    I think connections between people are so subjective, for example
    if someone is good looking youll ignore their personality more, hot chick makes a bad joke, guy laughs anyway

    It the formula:
    Looks minus annoyances equals tolerability?
  • Broken Lizard
    edited February 2008
    well I guess when it comes to liking yeah, but I was referring to love, my bad. lol
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    Connection = very important. Even if you've been with the person for a year and you still don't feel like you know them? You know there's a problem. :O

    For me it was hit or miss. I met the my bf twice VERY briefly (short intro) before I asked him out. I YES I ASKED. ahhaha. I never really saw any 'faults' when I jsut saw him be himself with his friends. Normal guy. I felt really comfortable with him on the first second I talked to him, and yes, I felt like I wanted to know him more. After I got to know him better, I can't say I see any big faults other than the fact he can seem a little arrogant sometimes, but you learn to deal lol, since you're in it for the whole pkg, not jsut a small part. The looks thing never really phased me at all (besides the initial HEY YOU'RE TALL! I'M TALL! COOL!)
  • Master Of Illusion
    edited February 2008
    Nothing better to say.

    Cheers.
  • Insatiable
    edited February 2008
    Pheromones!
  • Jimmy
    edited February 2008
    infatuation
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    Revenge
  • tere_lai
    edited February 2008
    Boredom.

    Anyone?

    Anyone?
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    中国男人;22370 said:
    Revenge
    Revenge?
  • tere_lai
    edited February 2008
    中国男人;22370 said:
    Revenge
    Yeaaah....come to think of it...that's kinda scary...
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    Fine....

    Retaliation & Vengence
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    中国男人;22462 said:
    Fine....

    Retaliation & Vengence
    VENGEANCE?

    Dude I wouldn't date you! Hahaha
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    vonnie;22471 said:
    VENGEANCE?

    Dude I wouldn't date you! Hahaha
    That attitude is mutual to me as well. hahaha
  • IVTIVT
    edited February 2008
    maybe we like who we like because we like talking to that person?

    good communication = (potentially) good relationship etc etc
  • siuying
    edited February 2008
    what about seeing it as a challenge?
    learning to like someone we didn't like initially or vice versa?

    just throwing out random stuff..
    my brain is pretty messed up right now..
  • Insatiable
    edited February 2008
    中国男人;22462 said:
    Fine....

    Retaliation & Vengence
    Would you explain?
  • 中国&#30
    edited February 2008
    Insatiable;22535 said:
    Would you explain?
    When two people break-up in a relationship, one of them will be in a relationship with someone new while the other is not. There will be a dumper and a dumpee. Either:

    Dumper retaliation & vengeance
    Dumpee retaliation & vengeance
  • vonnie
    edited February 2008
    So they start a new relationship based on those things?

    Well... what if they've never had a relationship before? Then they can't be based on those things :D

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