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Money and relationship

edited January 2008 in General
I was looking at my Mastercard bill at first and realized that I spent about $1050 last month eating out with my gf. When we go out I always cover the dinner. She would usually cover the movies but I would pay for the popcorn and drinks. For the past while I have been paying for the movies too. In the end, I would say I pay 90% of the time and she would maybe pay 10% of the time. How do you couples split your finance?

Comments

  • edited November 2007
    just bring it up and talk to her about it
  • edited November 2007
    Well when I do bring it up she will tell me how money is not important in her life. Having a good career and making good money is important for me while she's more into volunteering and she doesn't really like school. On the other hand, she likes to eat out a lot, hit the clubs, and she have expensive taste when it comes to clothing. All of this require money or good income. I think he kinda contradicts herself.
  • edited November 2007
    noname;17960 said:
    Well when I do bring it up she will tell me how money is not important in her life. Having a good career and making good money is important for me while she's more into volunteering and she doesn't really like school. On the other hand, she likes to eat out a lot, hit the clubs, and she have expensive taste when it comes to clothing. All of this require money or good income. I think he kinda contradicts herself.
    or a boyfriend willing to foot the bill 90% of the time....
    money's not important to her b/c she doesn't need to worry about it, if she wants to eat out, you pay. if she wants to go clubbing, you pay, etc.
    i'm not saying you should split everything straight down the middle, but she should definetly contribute a bit more or at least be willing to scale back on the number of times you guys go out for dinner...
  • edited November 2007
    "Well when I do bring it up she will tell me how money is not important in her life"

    Then she shouldnt care when you tell her instead of going to eat you wanna chill at your place instead, or instead of going out to movies go to her place or yours and watch tv or rent something.

    You're buying her clothes?
    If youre not in a serious relationship it may seem to be that you have a gold digger.
  • edited November 2007
    Make a habit of forgetting your wallet every time you guys go out. "Whoops, I didn't bring my credit cards, and I don't have any cash....looks like you'll have to pay this time..."

    Or tell her you've been saving up for that penis reduction surgery, because your wang is just too big, and you don't want to hurt her. It's a noble cause.
  • edited November 2007
    If he's working, he pays.
    If I'm working, I pay.

    I'm working right now, he's not. So I've been paying for the past 3 months.
    In January he'll be in co-op. So then he'll start paying.

    and if we're both working, we'll split. =)

    Do you feel like it's a burden to pay for her 90% of the time? If you do you should definitely bring it up. But if she has any heart she would already know that you spend a lot on her and start doing her part.
    I know some guys won't even let their girlfriends pay, even if it's a coffee or something. I guess it's really about tradition and how you were taught to do things.
  • edited November 2007
    yeah im with the above post
    I had a kick ass 19/hr job in the summer so I was paying for most (got myself out of debt too, was 3k in, lol)
    now i hardly work, so she pays, lol.
  • edited November 2007
    agree with everyone else here.. accept maybe the surgery MB mentioned.. =P but yeah.. i usually split the bill and pay for my portion while he pays his own.. for small things like snacks, drinks we don't really care.. i'm pretty insistent on paying for my own stuff because i dislike the idea of having the guy pay when i'm capable of doing so.. but i've met guys who just wouldn't even let you see/touch the bill... let alone pay for it.. =( and while i do appreciate such gesture it just makes me feel like i owe them something..

    i think she's sort of getting comfortable with the fact that you're paying 90% of it.. do you initiate to pay or does she asks you to pay?
  • edited November 2007
    That's not really fair man...Try to hang out at home more, get her to cook for you or something. I'm not the type of guy that likes my girlfriend paying for things when we go out, but that doesn't necessairly mean that we have to go out all the time. It's just as fun to hang out at home, rent a movie, or play some wii...and $1000 is a lot of money to spend in one month, especially if your a student. I wouldn't be able to maintain that for too long, and if its costing you that much to maintian the relationship then I would question how strong your bond really is..
  • edited November 2007
    You have to look at how much you both make.

    My bf got upset a while ago cuz he was paying for a lot of dinners and stuff. But he failed to see how he has a job that pays a lot more than me (i do not have a job and am a full-time student). So in my mind, him paying for most of the stuff is fair.

    I do try to pay for some too, even though i dont even have a job right now, but I pay for what i can, even though its pretty rough on my bank account.

    You just have to talk it through to see whats fair. I dont pay for a lot but thats cuz i dont have a lot of money....the money i do have is there cuz i want to pay for my own tuition from now on. And its not like Im going out there and spending money on clothes....I havent bought a new pair of jeans in over a year! So, look at what you make and what she makes.

    When both people make pretty much equal, then they should split things right down the centre. I do understand why some guys get upset, especially if they are paying for expensive dinners, but hey, you guys DON'T have to go to expensive restaurants. Whenever my bf is like, "Lets go to the Boathouse for dinner," I'm always like, "I dont have money to pay for some of that, lets go somewhere cheaper." And he'll usually respond with, "Sounds good," or "Lets go anyway, I'll pay for it."
  • edited January 2008
    wowwwwww..........sfu girls are sooooo materialistic....now I know.....I would never date a sfu girl ever guaranteed......
  • edited January 2008
    noname;17957 said:
    I was looking at my Mastercard bill at first and realized that I spent about $1050 last month eating out with my gf. When we go out I always cover the dinner. She would usually cover the movies but I would pay for the popcorn and drinks. For the past while I have been paying for the movies too. In the end, I would say I pay 90% of the time and she would maybe pay 10% of the time. How do you couples split your finance?
    When you get married the problem will get fixed. It works like this, she will tell you:

    "Your money is my money and my money is my money."

    You will protest, but then give up.

    Choose who you marry carefully. :angel:
  • edited January 2008
    My bf got upset a while ago cuz he was paying for a lot of dinners and stuff. But he failed to see how he has a job that pays a lot more than me (i do not have a job and am a full-time student). So in my mind, him paying for most of the stuff is fair.
    Yes. He does all the work, and does all the paying. Very fair. It may be necessary, but from your post it seems like you think you're just getting what you automatically deserve. In reality, you ought to be grateful.

    I don't mind paying for stuff with girls, especially at first, but how about a thank-you, eh? It's aggravating and very unattractive to simply accept it as your due.

    Hmmm, this post may be getting cathartic. =P
  • edited January 2008
    jackandjerry;20685 said:
    wowwwwww..........sfu girls are sooooo materialistic....now I know.....I would never date a sfu girl ever guaranteed......
    hmm.. that's quite the generalization there.. i hope you never date a sfu girl then.. but just giving you the heads up.. there's even more (and worse) materialistic girls out there.. be careful what you wish for.. =) and to be honest.. i don't see how sfu guys are any better.. yet i wouldn't be so quick on generalizing all of them to be un-date-able material.. i mean.. there's got to be some hot and nice guys around right? =P
  • edited January 2008
    siuying;20701 said:
    hmm.. that's quite the generalization there.. i hope you never date a sfu girl then.. but just giving you the heads up.. there's even more (and worse) materialistic girls out there.. be careful what you wish for.. =) and to be honest.. i don't see how sfu guys are any better.. yet i wouldn't be so quick on generalizing all of them to be un-date-able material.. i mean.. there's got to be some hot and nice guys around right? =P
    I am here. But my wife doesn't allow me to date other girls. :confused:
  • edited January 2008
    if you got a wife I feel sorry for her... haha
  • edited January 2008
    Triple;20715 said:
    if you got a wife I feel sorry for her... haha
    You don't even know me and already judge me. This is terrible, I feel so offended. Why do you have to be so rude? :embarassed:
  • edited January 2008
    I'm sure that was a joke LOL. Lighten up man
  • edited January 2008
    vonnie;20723 said:
    I'm sure that was a joke LOL. Lighten up man
    Are you talking to me?

    If yes, then you must have missed these
    [sarcasm][/sarcasm] in my post.

    If not... moving on. :angel:
  • edited January 2008
    no_one_cares;20719 said:
    You don't even know me and already judge me. This is terrible, I feel so offended. Why do you have to be so rude? :embarassed:
    triple wasn't been rude.. if you feel offended that's cause you blurted you have a wife first.. =P and off limits you are for all sfu girls.. :beer:
  • edited January 2008
    hehe... aren't you glad to hear that? Trouble getting laid?
  • edited January 2008
    1) i really don't care
    2) me? no.. why are you? =P
  • edited January 2008
    siuying;20787 said:
    1) i really don't care
    2) me? no.. why are you? =P
    you really don't care if you get laid? - nuff said.
  • edited January 2008
    you asked 2 questions.. i was nice enough to separate them so you could read easily and you still manage to lump it together.. that says a lot about your comprehensibility..
  • edited January 2008
    noname;17957 said:
    I was looking at my Mastercard bill at first and realized that I spent about $1050 last month eating out with my gf. When we go out I always cover the dinner. She would usually cover the movies but I would pay for the popcorn and drinks. For the past while I have been paying for the movies too. In the end, I would say I pay 90% of the time and she would maybe pay 10% of the time. How do you couples split your finance?
    Umm, that's totally ridiculous.

    Each should pay half, unless one partner is really rich or something and money doesn't mean anything to them.

    But if each person makes roughly equal, then they should each pay half.

    (Unless it's a present, like taking your partner out to dinner on his/her birthday.)
  • edited January 2008
    1. - Let the woman pay, then when she is not looking, make her pay again, then when she thinks you are ready to pay, make her pay once more with some lame ass excuse, then when she feels sorry for you, make her pay once more, finally when you feel so low (like a common slug), you then reluctantly take a twenty out of your wallet and make change for the bus or taxi you are about to take out of her life. [bad scenario]

    2. - Let the man pay, then when he is not looking, make him pay again, then when he thinks you are ready to pay, make him pay once more with some lame ass excuse, then when he feels sorry for you, make him pay once more, finally when you feel so low (like a common slug), you then reluctantly take a twenty out of your purse/handbag and make change for the bus or taxi you are about to take out of his life. [bad scenario]

    3. - In a relationship built on trust and mutual understanding the above two [bad scenario] situations do not apply. It is the consensus of most people who are mature, not to haggle over money issues or to bitch about who is shelling out more then the other. Should you be in a situation like 1 and/or 2 [bad scenario], then I would suggest not being or continuing in that relationship, for it at that point is one sided financially. To further clear this up, a mutual loving relationship will stand through most problems including financial matters, financial problems can and will happen (loss of employment, unable to fine suitable employement, one makes more then then other [self-entitlement to significant others' money in-hand] and so forth; places a strain on a good solid relationship. To avoid break-up with partner/friend/lover/best friend/BBF etc, one must see beyond the immediate and obvious flaws in basing a relationship on finance situation of you loved one. Unless, there is a long-term, repetitive laziness about the person in question and you think there is a time for change; then go ahead and get rid of that lazy ass GF/BF.

    From up on the mountain, this is the Master Of Illusion, signing off from another broadcast day...Good Luck ALL!

    Cheers.

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