›
To take part in discussions on talkSFU, please apply for membership (SFU email id required).

Developing feelings for a girl who is unavailable

DaNoobie
edited November 2007 in General
I'm sure this has been asked before, but where do I go from here? I've developed very strong feelings for this girl who is currently in a relationship. What are my options & whats best?

I've thought about...
-staying away from her altogether
-maintain some form of friendship and wait

Actually, thats it.

Comments

  • Masih
    edited November 2007
    I've thought about...
    -staying away from her altogether
    -maintain some form of friendship and wait
    both are going to be painful options...why don't you just confess to her!? If your feelings about her is strong then it might help...
    personal experience shows if you don't act radically you would think more about it and thinking about these stuff just makes them more complex than what it already is...
  • Broken Lizard
    edited November 2007
    you'll get over it
    lol
  • Morro
    edited November 2007
    Ouch. Been there. You should just stick around and be friends and wait for her to become single. BUT, and here's the important part, don't wait for her as in panting at her feet in anticipation. Get out there are date other girls WHILE you wait. It will both lessen your feelings for her, because you'll no longer feel like she's the only girl in the world, it will make her respect you more if she sees you having some success with other chicks, and quite frankly it's what you ought to be doing anyway.

    There's nothing wrong with swooping in once they break up, but seriously, don't be "that guy." Don't be the sucker who spends the next two years waiting for her to break up. Go out and live your life, and keep her in the back of your mind. But if you wait and focus your attention on her, you're just going to drive yourself insane.
  • Broken Lizard
    edited November 2007
    you'll be the rebound guy when she breaks up though, you realize that right, haha
    unless you wait a while
  • randomuser
    edited November 2007
    Logically, you should just tell her how you feel and see what happens.

    Otherwise you could be sitting on a relationship that may never end, and you or she will never know how eachother feel.

    Maybe if she really likes you she will end her other relationship it happens, not saying it's likely but if she really likes you maybe.

    Either way spare yourself the antagonizing I've found if you put your feelings out there its easier to get over someone.
  • illicit
    edited November 2007
    DaNoobie;17555 said:
    I

    I've thought about...
    -staying away from her altogether
    -maintain some form of friendship and wait
    .

    -keep in touch
    -NEVER, enter the DUN DUN DUN. dreaded friendzone if you have other intentions.

    if you even have to ask yourself " am i in the friendzone ", well sorry my man you are.

    first year i was in this situation, was so close to homewrecking them and getting the girl but she was just too much of a loyal good girl. must've been for better.

    what do you girls think about a guy who homewrecks ?
  • DaNoobie
    edited November 2007
    I thought homewreck applies more to married situations

    I've thought about waiting around, but yah, as illicit said, dont want to be in the friend zone, nor do I want to be the rebound guy.

    for the ladies, how do you feel & react about being asked out when in relationships?
  • segadcsonic
    edited November 2007
    "-maintain some form of friendship and wait"

    I always do that, but I realize the best way is to go for it. If you're worried about keeping them as a friend, you will have to go into the "friend zone." Just take the initiative; that's one of my goals next semester when I'm back up @ SFU...
  • siuying
    edited November 2007
    in relation to homewrecks.. i would have to say you can't homewreck the unwilling.. illicit's case would be a good example... that said.. unless the girl made clear intentions that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you.. i would say she's fair game even when she is in a relationship.. but then again.. that's just me.. =)
  • illicit
    edited November 2007
    how about this case, any girl is " game " until there's a ring on her finger. THAT type of homewrecking.

    well to danoobie, if you think you can physically " handle " the girlfriend's boyfriend, and you are interested in her, i don't see why not. that's what it really comes down to for me. fortunately working out has given me a selective advantage in the physical department, just girls are always so complicated.
  • siuying
    edited November 2007
    i like to put more emphasis on a girl's will rather than a mere finger on the ring.. there's always divorces you know..=) but really.. you'll know you're a homewrecker if your intentions are to ruin their current relationship and snag the girl/guy.. homewrecking and competition are two different things..

    riding on the post.. does anyone notice that guys are more stigmatized for being homewreckers than girls? i've noticed ppl are more keen on talking/denouncing abt a guy ruining relationships and just overlooks when a girl does it..=\
  • Morro
    edited November 2007
    Cause guys are generally thought of as the chasers. So if a guy leaves a relationship for another girl, the other girl isn't immediately thought of as having been super aggressive in making that happen.
  • baby e
    edited November 2007
    Be friends with her if you think you can. But look around for other girls that could be potential gfs. If you dont think you can stand to hear about her mention her bf, then stay away from her.

    You're only setting yourself up for heartbreak either way.
  • siuying
    edited November 2007
    Morro;17701 said:
    Cause guys are generally thought of as the chasers. So if a guy leaves a relationship for another girl, the other girl isn't immediately thought of as having been super aggressive in making that happen.
    hahaha.. what a huge social misconception there.. =P

Leave a Comment