Are Relationships The Most Important Thing?

da_prodigy · October 2007

It's no secret that people value and long for relationships. It's a natural thing. But is it the most important thing to people? People generally fear being alone. Many stay in bad relationships to avoid being alone. Some get that good paying job just because they know they stand a better chance of landing and keeping someone. Lots of people stop hanging around their friends once they get involved. Many also give up doing their favorite hobbies and activities when they get involved. I can add a lot more that people go through and put up with just so they are not alone.

That's pretty powerful stuff. So are relationships generally the most important thing to humans?

Kevin M. · October 2007

I think a sense of belonging is important to human beings. We're social creatures...it's hard for us to exist in a vacuum.

I have a hypothesis: People who are loners will have a tendency to look for that "certain someone", while people with active social groups will wait until "it just happens".

Any thoughts on that?

My reasonning is that people who don't have an active social group will be lonelier and they'll put more value into having someone especially for them, whereas those who are more sociable are fulfilling that need to have others around them and thus don't place a lot of value on having just one person.

IVT · October 2007

Kevin M.;16580 said:
...it's hard for us to exist in a vacuum.

Yeah no kidding, there's no air in a vacuum:smile:

Obviously relationships are important but I don't think they are THAT important. Eg Religion, family, education, friends, money come first (for me)

As for the fear of being alone and not having that special someone, i don't get it. What's the big deal? I'm a bit of a loner (used to be total loner), haven't had a girlfriend yet. Honestly, I don't think I'm missing out on too much.

baby e · October 2007

^Come back and tell us if you feel the same way after you have a girlfriend.

Relationships are essential to a lot people. We all have that desire and need to be touched and loved. Some can get it by having casual encounters, but for others, they need a loving relationship.

Speaking as someone who is completely and utterly in love right now, its the best thing ever! We want to spend most of our time together and do anything for one another. So of course, the other activities you were doing before will sort of go away.

People stop being friends with some of their friends when they're in a relationship for many different reasons:
1) That friend does something that annoys/offends your signigicant other
2) That friend is single and just wants to go out and drink and club all the time....those in a relationship dont see the need to go out and try to pick up guys or girls with them

You can definitely keep your friends around, there is no need for them to disappear at all. It just depends on the friends and what you do with them.

I love being in a relationship with my bf! Hes the bestest ever, awww :)

中国&#30 · October 2007

对，我觉得 relationships are important to humans. You can tell by watching this Music Video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcDBpmbxhH0

gawdawaful · October 2007

baby e;16590 said:
^Come back and tell us if you feel the same way after you have a girlfriend.

ouch lol

illicit · October 2007

personally, it's better to do without than do whoever.

plus, more focus on what you really need to be achieving eg. school, money, family, friends

Steven · October 2007

Relationships are important. But I wouldn't consider it as number 1 priority. I think a balance of everything is more important than anything. So far, my relationship has been good because it allows me to keep a good balance of my work, school, friends, and gf. Best thing of all is she likes balancing her lifestyle as well. So no conflicts =)

Broken Lizard · October 2007

its the most important thing for me, but it is different for everyone.
my goal in life is to have a family who loves me, whether i work some shit ass job for that to happen, im willing to. I don't know why, but i don't find school at all a priority for me. Sure im sinking thousands into it, but I think there are other things to worry about.
Right now in life, im young, i want to enjoy it, and for the past year or so I have been. My marks have dropped, but I'm happy.
I had a horrible childhood (certain kinds of abuse and what not) and having someone that cares for me and that I can talk to about it, makes everything so much better.

thats my situation anyways, everyone is different of course!

illicit · October 2007

i got my mind on money, money in my mind

Simon604 · October 2007

I definitely agree with Steven here. Obviously relationships are an important component of life (for some, sooner than later) but balance is key. Throughout life we have to juggle things like school, work, relationships, family life, and health so it's not about which one is more important. They're all important in one way or the other in they help achieve our needs as an individual. These needs may vary in importance from one person to the next, but it seems that the ones who achieve an optimal lifestyle balance tend to be more satisfied.

yung44 · October 2007

illicit;16610 said:
personally, it's better to do without than do whoever.

plus, more focus on what you really need to be achieving eg. school, money, family, friends

achieving without caring is a soul-less act.

I hope u focus on the thing u are focusing because you truly care about your family & friends from your heart(even tho I recognize u put them after school and money.)

illicit · October 2007

yung44;16832 said:
achieving without caring is a soul-less act.

I hope u focus on the thing u are focusing because you truly care about your family & friends from your heart(even tho I recognize u put them after school and money.)

those 4 things i put there weren't in order.

but to be a devil's advocate, when you say " achieving without caring ". i see it as once you have the result, it doesn't make too big a difference how you achieved it.

eg.
let person A swindles 1trillion dollars
let person B work full time job + part time job for many years to make 1 trillion dollars

person A = person B in terms of money, both will basically have the same status, can buy the same things etc.

yung44 · November 2007

illicit;16881 said:
those 4 things i put there weren't in order.

but to be a devil's advocate, when you say " achieving without caring ". i see it as once you have the result, it doesn't make too big a difference how you achieved it.

eg.
let person A swindles 1trillion dollars
let person B work full time job + part time job for many years to make 1 trillion dollars

person A = person B in terms of money, both will basically have the same status, can buy the same things etc.

person A achieves it with hurting people as a consequence. Good example.
That could be part of achieving without caring. Some paths get a person results by hurting his/her closest ones.

it just doesn't make too big a difference to you.

illicit · November 2007

yung, let me state it again like i did in my previous post, i'm playing devil's advocate.

devil's advocate

dev·il's advocate
n.
One who argues against a cause or position, not as a committed opponent but simply for the sake of argument or to determine the validity of the cause or position.
Roman Catholic Church. An official appointed to present arguments against a proposed canonization or beatification.

so continuing on, i'd see it as merely the results is what counts.

example 2.

let person A cheat all the way to get into university with a entrance scholarship, early admission, 3.5cgpa without getting caught.

let person B work hard for what person A has "achieved"

does society(eg. employers, the dean, faculty heads) not view them as the same since it is merely based on the results on the transcript?

Are Relationships The Most Important Thing?

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