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New Friends
Making friends has never been a hard thing for me.
In highschool, I had tons of friends and was able to make them quickly and easily, I guess partly because we were in the same classes together, yadda yadda yadda. But I found that once highschool ended, so did a lot of those friendships. I stayed in touch with one good friend for about two years, and then we just stopped hanging out, mostly because we went to different post-secondary schools (I went to SFU, and she went to Cap College). She began to resent me for going to SFU because she really wanted to go and couldnt get in. Other "friends" from highschool are no more than mere acquaintances really that I talk to on facebook every now and then ("how are you? Havent seen you in forever!", blah blah blah).
During university, I would hardly say that I have made friends. They are, again, acquaintances that I talk to in class and on msn when we're frantically writing last minute papers. I dont really talk to them outside of the classroom setting.
Through other people, ive made friends, but to be honest with you, they've mostly been guys. Its pretty easy for me to make friends with guys, although I know that most of them prolly wanna hook up and thats why we talk and hang out occassionally....I dont want to hook up with them btw, I have a great bf.
What I'm saying is, I want to make new friends that are GIRLS! Girls that I can talk to, go shopping with, watch movies with, drink with, whatever! And frankly, its pissing me off that I cant seem to make any cuz I honestly dont know where to look, as dumb as that sounds.
I joined an all-girls soccer scrimmage league, and all of the "girls" were older women. Fine, i guess, but im looking for girls around my age (im 21 turing 22). I get frustrated, cuz ive joined a pilates class a few years ago, and all of the girls there (surprise surprise!) were there with a friend, and its so god-damned hard to just "join" into an already existing friendship.
I know this sounds so lame, but im so frustrated and miss talking to girls :( Yes, I have my bf, but its not the same.
In highschool, I had tons of friends and was able to make them quickly and easily, I guess partly because we were in the same classes together, yadda yadda yadda. But I found that once highschool ended, so did a lot of those friendships. I stayed in touch with one good friend for about two years, and then we just stopped hanging out, mostly because we went to different post-secondary schools (I went to SFU, and she went to Cap College). She began to resent me for going to SFU because she really wanted to go and couldnt get in. Other "friends" from highschool are no more than mere acquaintances really that I talk to on facebook every now and then ("how are you? Havent seen you in forever!", blah blah blah).
During university, I would hardly say that I have made friends. They are, again, acquaintances that I talk to in class and on msn when we're frantically writing last minute papers. I dont really talk to them outside of the classroom setting.
Through other people, ive made friends, but to be honest with you, they've mostly been guys. Its pretty easy for me to make friends with guys, although I know that most of them prolly wanna hook up and thats why we talk and hang out occassionally....I dont want to hook up with them btw, I have a great bf.
What I'm saying is, I want to make new friends that are GIRLS! Girls that I can talk to, go shopping with, watch movies with, drink with, whatever! And frankly, its pissing me off that I cant seem to make any cuz I honestly dont know where to look, as dumb as that sounds.
I joined an all-girls soccer scrimmage league, and all of the "girls" were older women. Fine, i guess, but im looking for girls around my age (im 21 turing 22). I get frustrated, cuz ive joined a pilates class a few years ago, and all of the girls there (surprise surprise!) were there with a friend, and its so god-damned hard to just "join" into an already existing friendship.
I know this sounds so lame, but im so frustrated and miss talking to girls :( Yes, I have my bf, but its not the same.
Comments
Currently, I work at an office and the amount of females greatly outnumber the amount of males. I have found these girls wanting to make friends with me. For example, they would invite me out to go clubbing with their friends even though I rarely do this as I'm getting old now. So I think the best way to make female friends is to befriend the girls at your job. Maybe you should make plans and invite them to come out with you?
Honestly, it's probably the relationship thats gotten you so out of the loop nothing else. Sometimes a little space a part is wicked. You get so used to keeping in touch with your bf/gf constantly and talking to them about everything that you end up putting a lot of distance between people that you have the potential to be friends with. Friendships take work, so just get out there and start meeting people. Say hi, smile a little or just say whats up without feeling tied down its awesome
But the best thing that happened is I just regained contact with my very best female friend, who was moving and traveling for the past few years so we lost touch. I'd think about her often and now that we are able to talk and email again I feel like I've added something very important to my life. Maybe there is a past friendship that you regret losing? I'll bet that she'd be just as happy to hear from you!
You are on the right track by participating in things you enjoy in order to meet friends. And I agree that you have to make yourself approachable and available to spend time with people. Maybe there are some SFU clubs you might want to join?
Good luck. I know your plight!
There has to be some sort of thing i can join, like a class or something like a hobbie where i can meet other girls my age. Ive tried the clubs thing at school and, no offense to those that like the clubs, but i find that they are all rather boring and sucky. I was apart of one once and that didnt turn out too well.
And yah, there are two people from highschool that i would love to get in touch with again, but have no idea how to do it. I dont have emails and they're not on facebook from what i can see. :( The craigslist thing is an idea, ive thought about that one, but i dunno. Seems like you might attract some weird people, but maybe not.
PERVERT!
it's really cause online messaging/communities creates distance even though it's supposed to bring you closer. why go take the effor tand meet up to talk etc when you can just do it at the comfort of your own seat, therefore not being able to meet as many people. personally i find it hard meeting people online eg. via facebook etc, easier if it's through friends during outings.so i blame the interweb.
Seriously though, I've found that people are a bit shy. Try not to be too aggressive, and thus annoying and clingy, but also don't just let nice people fade away, because you don't want to ask them to hang out. It's a fine line to walk.
I was lucky that about 60% of my high school went to SFU. Made the transition easier.