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Ever had a friend like this & how do you deal w/ it?

noname
edited April 2007 in General
Well we have been friends for like around 11 years. I don't want to kill the friendship so let me know how you guys will handle this.

Recently, he graduated from the Radiologist tech program at BCIT so now he landed a job that pays about 50k/year in another city. I'm still going to school and I'm taking the Chartered Financial Analyst program. Whenever he calls me, he always makes these lame jokes about how his program is so much tougher than mines while the CFA Program is basically a walk in the park.

About a week ago, the guy comes back to Vancouver. Spends a few grand on an Armani jacket & hundreds on G Star shirts. Then he goes and make fun of what I wear (I basically wear stuff from bannana republic b/c it's good work clothes for those who care). Well we planned a trip down to Seattle w/ another friend while he was here and I drove. I drove to the border and the forgot to bring his ID. He apologizes and said that he'll take me to lunch. When we're done w/ lunch, I end up paying b/c he forgot to bring money. The thing is that it's just not this one time. The guy acts like such a big time baller w/ his expensive clothing but he's too cheap to pay for parking, drive, etc.

The other thing is that he loves putting people down. Mind you, he's not that great himself. He was more of the nerdy type in high school but now that he has money I guess he wants to act like he is the shiat. My other friend describes him as being blunt but I'm just getting sick of it. How woud you gys handle this?

Comments

  • Kevin M.Kevin M.
    edited April 2007
    Well, from a psychological perspective, it sounds like you friend has some self esteem issues. By buying expensive clothes and making fun of you, he is basically trying to feel better about himself. Maybe because he was a nerd in high school and never got proper respect, he is trying to make up for that now with money. It all comes down to what kind of person he is on the inside and maybe he has some growing up to do.
  • imelting
    edited April 2007
    doesnt sound like a really good frd, as pointed out earlier, self esteem issues definitely

    if we were not really close frds, i'd prob distance myself from him, usually ppl like that are not fun to hang around anyways as u hav experienced
  • Malakaiii
    edited April 2007
    I've decided to not spend any of my time with people who are negative and mean. I'd much rather be around the friends and family members who make me feel good about myself and who I can enjoy my time with!

    I agree that he has some issues. But those are his problem and not yours. Just because you've had a long relationship with the guy doesn't mean that you owe him your friendship. That's something that has to be earned and maintained. So instead of hanging around with him, do stuff with the friends you enjoy!
  • siuying
    edited April 2007
    well... there are essentially 2 things you can do... confront him and see what he has to say abt this.. sometimes people don't realize their mistakes until they've been slapped right in front of their face.. like a revelation of some sort... or you can save that effort and just blacklist this guy because honestly.. having someone like that around you isn't a good thing.. especially when he's constantly putting you down like that.. anyhow..what you decide is totally up to you.. =)

    but for me.. i would probably confront him abt it because i want to know why he's doing stuff like that.. and if he doesn't take it well.. then you've got nothing to lose except having him walk out on you without you even have to blacklist him...
  • toast
    edited April 2007
    2 things you can do:

    Put a fist in his face

    or

    Tell him to STFU
  • Smiles
    edited April 2007
    A true friend would never treat you like that. He puts others down to make himself feel better about who he is. I would be surprised if he gets punched out by some guy he makes fun of in the future. Its really your choice if you want to be friends with someone who treats you like this. But it you do, I would confront the guy. Otherwise, perhaps losing an 11 year friendship would be a wake up call for your friend & make him think about his priorities.

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